


CofFree

by capn666



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Almost irrationally slow burn, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, F/M, Fluff, Slow Burn, coffee shop AU, disgustingly cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2020-07-29 20:27:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 36
Words: 68,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20088265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/capn666/pseuds/capn666
Summary: Sometimes baristas are cute and sometimes they unexpectedly give you free drinks and you unexpectedly fall in love with them and then neither of you ever mentions it again but the free drinks keep coming.





	1. Oh no He's Cute

She hadn’t planned for this.

She had planned her whole night out, had been looking forward to it, even.

Amy finally had the apartment to herself tonight and got off work just early enough to allow herself twenty minutes to get home, two minutes to microwave her leftovers, and ten minutes to arrange all of the blankets and pillows comfortably around her on the couch. That would leave her three hours of reading time before she had to start her nightly routine and then go to bed with just enough time to get exactly eight hours of sleep for work the next day.

She had it all planned out.

Except for the part where her bike broke. And for all her friends with cars to be out of town. And for it to be just dark enough in this as yet unexplored area of town to warrant her unease at having to lug the bike home on foot. There was already a bedraggled homeless man standing just in her way on the sidewalk.

She pulled the bike into the closest parking lot, one that still had one store open and at least some light from the closing stores around it. It only took a glance at the tangled up chain and the off-set gears to realize it was helpless to try and fix it in the dark. Unfortunately she was elbow-deep in grease before she accepted that.

She glanced around at the closing stores and set upon the Starbucks, fluorescent lights still glaring, and saw a single person standing idly behind the counter.

_“No point standing around out here.” _She was still planning._ “I can go inside where there are other people, wash off the grease, call a cab, and I probably won’t be mugged. And I’ll still be only… twenty minutes off schedule.” _

She locked the bike as close to the store window as she could and was sure to triple check the hours printed on the door before walking in to the customer free room.

“Hello! Are you still open? I’m so sorry, do you mind if I just use the bathroom? My bike–” She held her blackened arms out in front of her, already scanning for the restrooms.

The guy, whom she’d noticed idling around from outside, looked up at her, startled. His eyes went wide like he’d been caught and his floppy brown curls fell over his forehead. “Oh – um – yeah, go ahead.”

The grease drying on her skin was too noticeable for her to have time to also notice how cute he was. The moment she walked back out, however, and had to decide on her next move, she found herself stuck standing on the other side of the bar, debating every detail. He was _really _cute, in an awkward, dorky way. He was wearing a plaid shirt that she wasn’t sure was regulation, sleeves rolled up. He was staring at her out of the corner of his eye, but when she caught him, he turned back to his register, face turned down to watch whatever it was he was kicking on the floor.

Amy looked at the many tables around the store, at the stools pushed up against the bar, at the cute guy standing not five feet across from where she was by the bar. _Bar it is._

She should probably buy something. Right? That’s what you do when you want to stay at an establishment. It would be weird if she just sat down and didn’t buy anything. It’s impolite.

“Hello!” She said, just a bit too loud and certainly too shaky.

He smiled. It was a really nice smile. “Hey, what can I get you?”

She says the first drink she sees off the menu, some frozen espresso drink, ignoring that she has to be asleep in three and a half hours. “Uh, you don’t mind if I just hang out here for a while? My bike… it, uh, broke and I’m waiting for a cab.”

“Yeah, cool cool cool no doubt.” He turned away to make her drink while she finished paying on the key pad and set it up at the bar for her. So she took a seat.

_“We are the only people in here. It would be rude to hide in the corner. Maybe he wants company. Or he doesn’t and I should sit across the room. But he did already put the drink down. It’s fine. It’s casual. Normal.”_

And just to show how casual and normal she could be, Amy sat absolutely still, not moving a single muscle or breathing too much or too little. Her phone sat on the counter in front of her, in her line of sight in case the driver called, but not too close that the barista would be put-off if he wanted to strike up a conversation.

He, in the meantime, was standing less still behind the counter, pretending to wipe down a counter with a dry sponge and no cleaning fluid in sight.

A completely casual bit of socializing.

She sipped at her drink and tried to hide her wince at how sweet it was.

They both jumped when the door chimed and a customer walked to the register, order already leaving her lips. The girl smiled at the two totally casual people being normal and silent in close proximity.

“It’s so nice out right now,” the girl started aloud, waiting on either of them to jump in. “It’s perfect fall weather.” She was looking at Amy.

“I know! I get to break out all of my favorite sweaters!” Her nervousness went away, so long as this girl would just stay in the building.

But then the barista started talking, glancing at Amy, his eyebrows scrunched up and his glance jumping back and forth between her and the new girl. “Right? My aesthetic isn’t complete without my _layers_ of jackets.”

The girl glanced in between them before smiling again and walking out and the silence returned, draping over them like a stage curtain.

“So,” he said after a beat. “Is Fall your favorite season? I love it, ‘cause it’s got Halloween and I can shamelessly eat double my weight in sour candies.”

“You should absolutely feel shame about that.” But she was laughing.

“It’s not me, it’s the season.”

“No that’s definitely you." He shrugged. "It’s a little cold for my liking, but it’s nowhere near as cold as winter, so at least there’s that. Halloween, on the other hand. No.”

“Wha – how do you – I – what? No. What??” He looked horrified and like he was ready to defend this for the next hour, only he was cut off by a shrill tone.

“Oh.”

The cab. Right.

She walked away from the counter as she answered, though she could feel him watching her. The driver didn’t wait for her to answer before spilling questions. “I’m near. Which Starbucks is it? Is it the one by the Walgreens or the T-Mobile store? Is it the one on the bridge? Oh. Nevermind. I’m not nearby. Five minutes.”

She stared down at her phone, already feeling the shops silence consume her again.

The barista was back to “cleaning.” He’d left the sponge behind and was now sweeping in a very general way, back and forth, and avoiding eye contact. He looked up in time to see her return to pick up her drink, the slightest spark of hope in his wide brown eyes. “Are you leaving?”

“He’s not actually here. Wrong Starbucks. But he’ll be here in a minute.”

“Oh.”

“I think I’m just going to … wait outside. So he doesn’t get lost again.”

“Right. Of course, yeah.”

“Okay. Have a great rest of your night!”

“Yeah. You…you too. Nice talking to you.”

When Amy got home, the light was on and one of her roommates was sprawled out across the couch, some movie glowing on the screen. The disappointment sunk like a pit in her stomach but all she could think about was that stupid smile.


	2. What's in a Name? No, no. What IS your name.

It’s not that she wanted to see him again.

If she did see him, then so much the better, but she didn’t want to see him. Or, she wanted to see him but she didn’t need to see him. If it happens, it happens. It’s not like she was going to any real effort to find him again. In fact, she had been looking for a coffee shop near work because she could work on her homework while also getting her fill of caffeine. That’s multitasking, that is.

Plus, she wasn’t even really looking. She was just sitting at the bar, doing all of her homework. For three hours. She put in so little effort to find him that she passed the hours distracted by all the work she was doing, which was why she spent so much time there. She was being productive.

She’d been being productive for five days. Not counting Monday or Wednesday.

When she walked in on the sixth day, he was standing at the counter, hair ruffled and mussed up as though he’d been tugging at it. She approached him calmly with practiced steps and a polite smile that broke the moment he smiled back at her.

“Hey, you’re back! Same drink as last time? I’ll remember the name of it for next time.”

“Y-yeah. Yes.” She couldn’t remember what she’d ordered. But it was five dollars. This could get expensive if he remembered her every time she came in.

_He’d remembered her. _

The drink was just as painfully sweet as the last time and left her stomach in fits. But as she sat there, staring at the blank sheet of test prep for three hours, he looked at her a handful of times.

#

After three hours of unsuccessful homework attempts, the cute barista passed her and left the store. Since she wasn’t getting anything done after ten more minutes, and for that reason only, she packed her things and left.

As she unlocked her bike, she saw him climb out of one of the parked cars. He walked back in, but it was too late. She went home.

#

Ten days had passed since Amy had last seen him. And that was fine. She couldn’t be upset, she didn’t even know his name. She didn’t know his name…

It was routine now. Classes, work, homework at Starbucks. Her bag was packed with the stacks of assignments she would have to work on later. Work was extra long, too. By the time she clocked out, she was exhausted, starving, and uncharacteristically unenthusiastic about the assignments. She picked up Thai food around the block from the Starbucks and was just happy to be able to pick her feet off the ground.

The cute barista was bouncing by the time she got to him.

“Same drink?” He was already picking up a cup.

“Actually—” She didn’t think her stomach could take any more of that sugar. “An… Americano? Please.”

“Sure sure.” He was smiling at nothing now, just beaming at her and she was having trouble not doing it back.

Until she opened her wallet.

“_Shiiiiiiit_.” The smile dropped right off and her head hung back so that she was staring directly up into the fluorescent bulbs. The space where her card was moments ago was empty. She turned back to the door, then to the line building behind her. “Uuuhmm… I’m so sorry. I didn’t. Shit. Crap. No. _Shit_. I left my card at the restaurant. I’m so sorry.”

His smile didn’t falter for a moment. If anything, his eyes got softer as he waved a hand in front of him. “Hey, don’t worry about it.”

“Wait what?”

“Don’t worry about it. You’re cool.” And with a flourish, he pressed a button and her total turned to zero. He waved his hand for her to move on.

“Are you –”

“It’s cool. Cool cool cool.” He was already helping the next customer.

She made eye contact with another barista with a lot of black hair and who under normal circumstances would terrify her. “I left my card somewhere, I’ll be right back, do you mind if I leave this here? I’ll be right back.” The barista waved an arm so Amy dropped her bag and her food on the counter and booked it back to the restaurant where, with some amazing luck, the cashier was waiting for her with her card. Back at Starbucks nothing changed. She ate her meal and the thrumming in the back of her temples subsided just so.

The brown-haired barista kept throwing glances her way and instead of turning away when she caught him, he switched to making faces. Widened his eyes and puffed his cheeks up or stuck his tongue out and squinted at her until she was laughing and had to look away. They didn’t say anything the whole time, and her free drink was never mentioned.

She’d finally been there long enough and decided it was time. With her bag on her shoulder, she was about to stand and leave when the scary barista caught her eye and held her there.

“Hey.”

“H-hi. Thanks for earli–”

“Yeah whatever.” She sounded either impatient or uncomfortable, or maybe both, but there were no other customers to help. “You’re here a lot.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t say–”

“You’ve been here more than I have. But you’re quiet. So you’re fine.”

“Oh. Thank you? I’m Amy.”

“Rosa.”

“It’s nice to meet you!”

“Whatever.” Rosa finished wiping down the counter, with soap and water, and walked into the back room

Names. That’s what she needed. His name. She’d been trying for hours to see his name tag but it was always just out of reach. She was almost positive there was a ‘J’ in it. Or an ‘I’. He had really bad hand writing.

On the way out, she stood to the side of his register, waiting for his customer to finish or for him to notice. He looked up at her, startled but expectant.

“Hey, I just wanted to say bye. Your name’s… J….Jac…?”

He laughed. “It’s Jake.”

“Cool. Great! Okay, yeah, I’m Amy. Um. Yup. See you!” She turned tail and ran but she could hear his coughed laugh behind her mutterings. _“Amy, what is wrong with you? You absolute dork.” _


	3. Familiar

When she walked into the Starbucks three weeks later, she was greeted by a resounding, “Hey, Amy!” More people knew her name here than at her actual job.

Rosa was quiet and didn’t talk to her, but she also didn’t seem to mind her being there. She was actually more pleasant to Amy than to the other customers. At least Amy got a nod and was rarely threatened.

There was another barista, Charles, who she didn’t quite know but who went on for extended periods of time expressing just how good or bad an item off the menu was and sometimes he looked to Amy to smile and nod when Rosa ignored him. Which was always.

The store was busy. It was the middle of the week, but midterms were starting and it seemed every one she had ever seen on campus was filing in and out all day. She’d been there an hour and was trapped on her stool, head down, staring intently at a work sheet and trying to ignore the loud group standing behind her.

Her first paper was due in two weeks. She knew what it was going to be about, had gathered all the necessary information and written out several compelling arguments that would perfectly explore every factor and possible interpretation of the text.

She was vaguely aware of the disturbances around her but was too excited about starting the organizational outline of her paper to notice. That is, until someone tried to push through the crowd behind her. Someone was humming.

He slipped by her, trying very hard not to disturb her, but his voice came an inch away from her ear, so low her heart jumped into her throat, but she recognized it immediately. _“Hello, Amy~”_

By the time she turned around he was already slipping into the kitchen. The side of his mouth twitched up.

And there goes the paper.

##

Amy thinks she’s really warming to Rosa. She was already writing the first body paragraph when Rosa threw the door open, dragging her feet behind her to dump the slick black motorcycle helmet and jacket in the back room. Rosa didn’t say anything or look her way, just went right to work, and Amy didn’t try to bother her.

An hour later, however, the line gone and the store finally calming down, Amy looked up to find Rosa leaning over the counter facing her.

“Hi!”

“Hey.” Her eyes looked heavy and her shoulders were slumped forward. Her hair was pulled back but a heavy lock of waves was falling in front of her eyes before she puffed out her lip and blew them out.

“How’s everything?”

“Great. I love serving assholes who think they know more than I do about my job.”

Amy was caught. Her mouth opened and closed but no sounds came out.

“Whatcha writing?”

“It’s a paper on the working conditions of the varying class system as it pertains to classical painters. The professor only asked for a discussion of the comparisons between several artists but I decided–”

“Right. Overachiever.”

#

Amy was well into the second page of her draft before she realized Jake was working. It took her walking up to the register to notice him staring at her. He had his wide smile on, as usual.

“Watcha been workin’ on?”

“I have this paper due in nine days and I’m only half way through the draft.”

“I’m sorry, you’re freaking out about a paper that’s like two weeks away?”

“Nine days is not two weeks.”

“Yeah. A school week has five days. Four if you’re smart. Nine is more than five. Pfft, I know math.” He rolled his eyes.

“I don’t have time to point out all of the flaws in that sentence.”

His smile got brighter. “Americano?”

“Please.”

“Cool cool. Go write your paper. I’ll bring it to you.”

Her card was in her hand but he never touched the register so the price never came up. “Wait, but—”

His eyebrows lifted high onto his forehead and he stuck out his tongue, spinning away from the register. “Don’t worry about it.”

She stood there, unsure what to do, but he had already waved her away and wasn’t returning to ring her up. So she went and sat down, her hands fidgeting with her wallet.


	4. This Can't be Allowed

Amy hadn’t paid for a drink in two weeks. And it was driving her _insane. _

Every day she walked into the Starbucks and every day Jake rushed to the register before anyone else could, waved her away, and had her drink made before she had even settled into her seat. From the moment she opened the door, he was already waving his arm at her, motioning her around to the bar. She always walked to the register first on the off chance he would let her pay this time, but he never did.

“It’s taken care of.”

This couldn’t be allowed and he was being extremely obvious about it.

They didn’t speak much. Or at all, really. He waved her away from the register, gave her the same drink as he always did, then spent the next few hours making faces at her whenever he turned around. If a customer was particularly rude, he would plaster on a very wide, very obviously fake smile and his voice would get high, annunciating each word that came out. But then he would look to her so she could share in his eye roll. And when her drink ran dry, he would appear in front of her with another, already made.

If she tried to get up to pay, he just stuck his tongue at her and scrunched his face up.

And if she left before he did, he looked genuinely upset.

“Awww, what? You’re leaving?”

“I have to go to work, Jake.”

“What? No. You have to keep me company.”

Her face flushed whenever he said that. Which he did. A lot. “I’ve been here for three hours. I have work.”

“Ugh, I _guess_.”

“I’ll see you later.”

“Hey!” She was already half way out the door, but she turned around to see him push himself over the counter so his torso was lying across and his legs were waving behind him. “I work four to close on Saturday.”

She nodded, pretending like her ears weren’t burning so hot she was afraid they might fall off. Cool. Cool cool cool.


	5. Emotions? Gifts? What? No, this is just ... Friend Tax

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone leaving comments, they made me super happy. I didn't know how to respond so I'm saying thanks here. This story is pure fluff but it means a lot to me so I'm glad other people like it.  
I have //so much// written of this already and I'm trying real hard not to post it all at once. 
> 
> ((I promise the chapters get longer))

He could stop her from paying but he couldn’t stop her tipping.

All through the month of December, Amy carried around a fifty in the hidden pocket of her wallet, folded in an envelope, just waiting for him to be alone or to be at the counter when she walked in. She rarely saw him, though. He was there, but they were so busy he could only wave at her. He still waved her away from the register, even though he wasn’t working it. He handed her her drink the moment she stepped in the store, already knowing she’d be there at exactly that time because he’d told her his schedule the day before. At one point, he stopped at the bar across from her, let out the loudest, longest, and most dramatic sigh he could get out, then stood up straighter and walked on.

He looked constantly flustered.

But so did everyone else. Finals were coming and going and all the holidays were lurking around the corner. The Starbucks was a constant stream of customers, every one a stressed student trying to make two hours seem like a full night’s sleep.

His eyes were baggy and his hair was messier than usual. Even his pre-wrinkled plaid shirts looked extra wrinkled.

She’d been watching him for an hour now. It was Christmas Eve eve and she would be out of town until January 2nd, so it was her last chance.

Amy had thought this through over and over. If she threw it in the tip jar it would be split among all of the baristas and while she agreed that they each deserved large tips and would get around to each one individually later on _(and in fact had already left a twenty in the tip jar anonymously)_, this was about Jake. He needed to know this was her doing. He was so obvious with his disregard for company policy and was giving her free drinks constantly. She had to be equally obvious. It had to be a grand gesture and it had to be obvious that it was from her. His presence and smile made her feel all bubbly inside and sometimes just knowing he was off existing somewhere made her day a little bit better. Also, she did the math and he'd saved her over $200 the last two months on coffee. 

The crowd died down. The store was closing in ten minutes and she was the last customer still idling. Jake was looking withered after the manager returned to the back room, Amy having witnessed the lecture he just got while he avoided looking at her. Now he was slumped over a back counter, his back to her. Normally he hummed made up songs or sang along with the Taylor Swift playing on the radio but he was eerily quiet now. He hadn’t even said hi when she came in and she was missing the faces he made at her when he thought she wasn’t looking.

Amy finished packing her bag, all the pens safely accounted for, and stood to leave.

The envelope was in her hands.

She cleared her throat. “Bye, Jake.”

His shoulders tensed but his head shot up, a fake half-smile plastered on. They both winced, but he raised his hand to wave. “See ya later—”

She stuck her arm out straight, crisp white envelope hanging tensely in her hand. After having to toss two envelopes, she'd decided against drawing any doodles on it, all of the markings coming out terribly. But it did say his name, printed perfectly in the center in her practiced hand. Jake raised a brow, stopping in his tracks. He hesitated but stepped forward and took it, not taking his eyes off her until he opened it and had pulled out what was inside. 

He stopped speaking.

She could see the thought process going on behind his eyes. The fake polite smile dropped and he was just staring wide-eyed at the bill in his hand. His mouth gaped, he blinked thirty-some times. For once, he wasn’t smiling, but he looked softer. When he finally looked at her, his brows were scrunched up and he was just staring. It was really adorable, she thought.

“Oh.”

“Happy holidays. Thank you for everything.”

“Oh wow. Okay.” He smiled a genuine smile at her, one she hadn’t seen him give to anyone else. It was bright and it made her heart hurt. “Hey. Sorry I’ve been in a bad mood.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

She waved until the door closed and she was safely on the other side. Her heart swelled and she couldn’t stop beaming. She made him happy. He looked genuinely happy.


	6. Normal People Being Normal and Peopley

On January 5th, Amy walked confidently into the Starbucks and directly to the register. Jake quirked one eyebrow up and said, “Don’t even try.”

She nodded, took her drink, and walked to her seat.

Jake followed her, leaning over the bar to rest his head on his hands and stare up at her face. She’d never seen him this close before. He was staring intently at her and smiling lazily, ignoring the cleaning he rarely did anyway. “How was your break?”

This was new. They’d never had a real conversation before. Normally he just made silly faces at her and groaned within earshot when customers annoyed him.

“It was fine. I went home. My brothers were all back, so it was a full house. Very hectic. I got some reading done! Finally finished that book I started before finals.”

“You had two weeks off and you used it to read?”

“Yes! It’s fun.”

“We have vastly different ideas of what connotes fun.”

“Connotes. Good word.”

“Thanks, I heard you use it once.” He rested his cheek on the back of his arm, squinting one eye to keep looking at her. “Did I use it right?”

“You did.” She wanted very much to reach her hand out and touch the curls falling over his forehead. She remembered using the word in the store but she was sure he hadn’t been listening. “How was your break?”

“I slept for two weeks and watched all of _Die Hard_ 15 times.”

“_Why?_”

“Uuumm only cause it’s the greatest film series ever?” He lifted his head but kept his arms folded on the counter, ready to defend his favorite franchise, only some older man cleared his throat by the register. Jake stood up straight but he pointed a finger in her face and narrowed his eyes. “This isn’t over.”

The night was slow, hardly anyone back from their winter break yet. Only a couple of people drifted in and out of the store so their conversation was hardly disturbed. They kept speaking for three hours, only stopping once when a particularly obnoxious customer demanded his attention, and even then he kept making faces at her.

Her whole body was jittery.

Then she looked at her phone. An hour late to getting home. And she had things she was supposed to be doing. Classes to prepare for, new binders to organize. She stood reluctantly, sighing, and the smile that had been practically carved into Jake’s face for hours drooped.

“Time to go?”

“Yeah. Classes start soon. I want to get ahead of things.”

He rolled his eyes. “Ahead of what? Syllabus week?”

“None of my professors have posted yet and it’s driving me _insane. _I would email them but they haven’t posted that either yet. It’s so unprofessional.”

“Right, draining the rest of their break dry before they have to deal with overbearing students again? How dare they. Anyway. See you tomorrow probably?”

She smiled outwardly but inside she was shaking. She hadn’t planned to be there the next day. She had so much to get done and there was still so much reading to do.

_Screw him and his stupid face and his stupid smile and _

“Yup. See you then." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be longer, I promise


	7. Riding High

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops

Amy was having a day.

She’d slipped up during class and ended up cursing out one of her professors after he purposefully berated several students and ignored the complaints and warnings of others on the grounds that his bad day meant that everyone else should have a bad day. She’d slipped up and once she started yelling, the flood gates opened and she just let go. And the kicker? She didn’t get in trouble.

_There were no consequences._

If anything, the professor seemed to be humbled by it and thanked her for checking him. He said it meant growth that she was able to stand up to him and that he could listen to her. He said it made them both _better people. _

Amy was riding high on the confidence of a new year and a new semester and she had no idea what to do with all this pent up optimism. So she went to Starbucks.

They were busy and all the baristas were distracted. Jake was at the register, frantically taking orders, his fake smile faltering just that bit. She watched him from the line, since he hadn’t noticed her to force her out of it. And with this many people around, he couldn’t get away with openly kicking her out of the line to accept free drinks. There were two groups ahead of her, one a family of five, the other a study group. Jake was tapping away at his computer, only occasionally looking up to write an order down on a cup. A section of the family stepped out of the way, no longer standing in her view of him.

His hair was ruffled and he kept reaching up and scratching the back of his neck. Someone in the family asked him something, though Amy was respectfully not listening, and when Jake looked up at them, his eyes caught Amy’s. His eyes softened and the corners of his lips quirked up into the lightest smile. He dropped his gaze back to the work at hand, looking up every moment or so to look at her, each time his smile getting sweeter.

He was pointedly not smiling when the customer was speaking to him. He was a lot better at hiding it than she was because she couldn’t wipe the smile off her own face. When it was finally her turn, she stepped up to his register and his giant smile appeared as though it had never left.

“Hey.” Even his voice was soft, quiet.

“Hi.”

“How’s it going?”

“Great. Everything’s good. Really… really good.”

“That’s…good. Ha.” He handed off her drink order to the bar without looking away from her. “All set. As usual.”

She scoffed, as she always did. But she didn’t complain. She just took her seat.

#

Amy watched him for an hour. Instead of his usual ridiculous faces, every time she caught him looking at her it was with the sweetest smile she’d ever seen. It made her heart skip a beat every time she saw it and it definitely didn’t help her finish the homework she was too amped up to look at.

He was too busy to talk to her. But somehow, the new hire wasn’t. She barely knew the guy, but she knew Jake didn’t care for him. Teddy was his name, she remembered, and also read off his temporary name plate. Amy had seen him a few times the last few weeks and Jake had given her triple the amount of frustrated eye rolls than his usual. A few times he’d even walked up to her just to groan loudly in her presence.

Jake had told Teddy to clean the bar, but the new guy was using it as an excuse to lean over the counter to peak at her work. At least he was using soap and a wet sponge to clean the bar, unlike the way she’d seen Jake clean.

“What are ya workin’ on?” Teddy was looking at her expectantly, despite her having never spoken to him before.

“It’s just some light reading for class tomorrow. I’m taking notes and writing down possible research questions.” She looked passed him to see Jake taking a customer at the register, his eyes shifting to her every now and again. His mouth was clamped shut and she could see him grinding his teeth from the tension in his jaw. His hand was turning white where he was trying to control the marker he was using to write a name on his customers cup. The cap popped off and skittered under a cabinet. When he dropped to his hands and knees to find it, she could read the string of muttered expletives on his lips when he thought she wasn’t looking.

“Light reading is my favorite type of reading. It’s the perfect balance–”

“Pffft, yeah, reading, we all do that here.” Jake pushed past him, looking to Amy as he rolled his eyes. “Hey, man, shouldn’t you be doing that thing Rosa told you to do earlier?”

“She didn’t tell me to—”

“Yeah, yeah, she wanted you anywhere else. You should go ask her about it.”

Teddy shrugged. He went into the back to find Rosa.

Jake slumped over the counter across from Amy. “God I hate that guy.”

“I don’t know, he seems nice.”

“And by hate I of course mean ‘hate how I’m not better friends with him.’ Ha. Duh, Amy. You and your… words. And ideas. This guy, amirite?” His jaw tightened as he pulled on the most fake enthusiastic smile he could muster and turned his back on her.

When Teddy followed Rosa back into the store, he was going on a tangent about diet Ginger Ale and why it’s not just an airplane drink, to which she was responding by glaring daggers at Jake and pretending like Teddy wasn’t alive.

Jake took the distraction to refill Amy’s cup and slide a granola bar onto her papers, already cramming a chocolate covered one into his mouth.

#

_Texts From: Kylie_

_ How are you two not dating yet?_

_ Seriously. _

_ Drag him into the back room and do him._

_Text to: Kylie_

_ **I am not doing that.** _

_Texts From: Kylie_

_ He’s already in love with you. It’s just a matter of doing it._

_ Or him. It’s a matter of doing him. _

_Texts to: Kylie_

_ **First of all, we don’t know for a fact that he “loves” me. **_

** _ Secondly, I’m probably projecting. _ **

** _ Or he might just be humoring me. Or using me for business._ **

_Text From: Kylie_

_ What business? You haven’t paid for a drink in 3 months._

_Text to: Kylie_

** _ For all we know it’s some diabolical plot to take down a monopolizing corporation from the inside, one overpriced espresso drink at a time._ **

_Texts From: Kylie_

_ It’s cute that you think he’s smart enough for that._

_ At least give him your number._

_ If it is some diabolical plot, maybe you two can meet up somewhere and “plot” together. _

She wasn’t wrong. It couldn’t hurt to give him her number. Unless he thought she was presumptuous and pushy and never wanted to see her again and he would ask her to leave and then she would have to fake her death, change her name, and run away to open a bookshop overseas. That could work, too. He would never look in a bookshop. Not that he would look for her.

#

_Text From: Kylie_

_ Just do it already._

_Text to: Kylie_

_ **Fine.**_

Amy broke protocol. She stood up from her stool and walked to the register. Jake narrowed his eyes, glancing at her hands, before returning to his smile that looked as though he could smile for no one but her. Which was ridiculous, he can smile for anyone.

He tapped a few buttons on the computer, bringing up a total before dropping it to all zeros again.

Her heart jumped and she dropped the little many-times folded notepad paper onto the counter top. She knew he would know what it was right away. He wasn’t dumb. Or that dumb, anyway. She wrote so many versions of it but this was the best one. It was even signed off with _“Please feel no obligations to make a return. If this has made you uncomfortable, please let me know so that I may avoid future issue.”_ He would see that later, probably.

“Oh, wow.”

He didn’t look at her again, said no other words. Just “oh, wow.”

Amy walked back to her seat.

_Text to: Kylie_

_ **Done.**_

_Text From: Kylie_

_ Tell me everything!!!_

Any took her drink and left the building. The air inside was either hot and suffocating or her heart was going to explode and she would have to die. She called Kylie from a seat on the ground leaning against the brick wall of the T-Mobile.

Kylie picked up on the first ring.

“I did it.”

“And? What did he say? Did he drag you into the backroom? Did you have sex???”

“Do you really think all that happened since I last messaged you?”

“Maybe.”

There was silence and Amy could feel all the confidence and jitters from the last 14 hours bubbling up. Her heart was racing, her face was burning, and her whole body felt like it was going to start vibrating on high and never stop. She laughed. She laughed so suddenly and so loudly that it startled her into laughing some more, and then she was in hysterics, pressing her face into her knees and holding her aching sides as she couldn’t stop laughing. The phone fell from her hand but she could still hear Kylie’s voice on the other end.

After what felt like an hour but was really about ten minutes, she sucked in a breath, her chest and throat throbbing from laughing for so long. Her eyes were sore and red and her whole body felt tired and achy.

She hung up with Kylie and walked back into the store.

Jake wasn’t around. Rosa stared at her a little differently, a little more guarded than even her usual. Even Teddy looked a little put out and confused. Jake hurried in from the back room, arms full, and saw her out of the corner of his eye but he kept his gaze forward. He dropped the boxes in his arms onto the front counter and dropped to the floor, unpacking things without checking to see what they were.

Amy shoved her things into her bag without organizing them. She slung the bag over her shoulder and made her way for the door, trying not to look rushed or panicked.

Teddy waved at her. “See you later!”

Rosa spotted her and nodded.

Jake turned toward the door without looking up. He didn’t look at her. “Bye.”

She sped home.


	8. Friends is Good, They Could do Friends

Amy hadn’t been to Starbucks in three weeks.

It was exactly three weeks to the day. She checked. She was going to stay away for a week but on the seventh day it didn’t feel long enough so extended it to ten days. A nice round number. But then what if it wasn’t enough and she went back and not even Rosa would look at her? Best make it 14 days, to be safe. Two whole weeks. Not that she needed to go back. She wasn’t dependent on Starbucks or the people that worked there. And maybe she was getting more accomplished at the library anyway. For once she was entirely focused on her classes and her assignments and it’s not like she was behind before but her 100% went up to 105% in three classes and a surprising 110% in another.

So she made it three weeks.

When Amy entered the Starbucks, her heart was racing. It was really busy, all the baristas racing around to lessen the line leading out the door. It was the same three people as were working three weeks before, plus Charles. Once the line got to about five people before her, the store had cleared out quite a bit and she was now in full view of the counter. The door opened and closed, and they all looked up as they had done each time that happened, to either welcome a customer or say something like “Have a nice day.”

They all saw her.

Jake was busy, rushing from machine to machine. He threw his head up, met her eyes, and smiled. Not his normal big smile, but also not his fake customer service smile. It was just a nice smile. “Heyyy!” He let it hang there, too busy to say much else, and looked back to his work, but the smile was still there.

Even Rosa gave her a nod.

Charles was on the register. When it got to her turn, he had the widest smile she’d seen, practically glowing. Teddy was behind him and he looked up at her, smiling politely, then looked back down. His head snapped back up, eyes wide, as though he had assumed she’d died and he was now seeing her ghost.

“Hey, how are you doing? How’s everything been?”

Amy smiled at him politely. “Everything’s good.”

Meanwhile, Jake had spirited up to Charles, leaning close to his ear. He glanced only briefly in the direction of Amy. She watched his lips, whispering something she could only sort of make out. “Give her the…”

Charles eyebrows lifted, his whole demeanor gaining some kind of conspiratorial look. He tapped the screen and her total went down to $0.00. Charles smiled at her and told her to “Please move on and have an _amazing _day.” Jake spun back to his station, went through the familiar motions of making her drink, and placed it in front of her without another word.

They went back to not speaking. He didn’t even make faces at her anymore. He didn’t so much as offer her a look or a smile. But whenever he said anything, he said so loudly and dramatically, projecting his voice to make sure she was listening. She knew because his eyes would dart to her seat.

So they spent the day like that.

Jake kept loudly talking about a Gina. She supposed he could be dating her, which would explain a lot. Though he also could have just not liked her and been scared off by her presumptuousness, like she was afraid of. He also loudly told Rosa about some date he’d been on the week before. It didn’t sound like it went well, from the way he kept brushing off details. All Amy got from this back and forth was that she got nothing at all. Either he was or wasn’t dating someone, or he did or didn’t have feelings for someone. And there was someone named Gina who was visiting his Nana’s. She didn’t really know what to do with this information, so she locked it down in her brain and tried to focus on her assignment.

Rosa nodded at her occasionally and Charles periodically asked her about her work or her classes.

Closing time was rolling around and the store was empty. Amy had been there for three and a half hours and was still there, sitting at the counter, finishing up. Another customer was on their computer at a table. Charles had gone home after excitedly saying bye to her and now it was Jake, Rosa, and Teddy.

Jake had refilled her drink twice while managing to ignore her. He didn’t talk to her and he barely looked at her, his eyes permanently staring at the ground when she’s around. It was a bit like how he’d been when she first met him, kicking things under the counter and scratching at his neck.

Jake and Rosa were in the back room, Teddy circling the store with a mop. He mopped his way to Amy’s seat.

“What are ya working on?”

Amy looked up. “Just some homework.”

“What’s the assignment?”

“No assignment. I like to copy my class notes into a second notebook of at home notes. Cleaned up, color coordinated, and with tabs of extra research.”

Jake walked out as she was saying this and she felt her face flush. Figures he would come back in time to hear of her dorkiness. There was a faint smile paired with his shadowed gaze, hearing her habits. She knew he would be making fun of her if he were still talking to her. Instead, Jake’s whole body was tense and he was clenching his jaw.

“Hey, Rosa! You should come out here!”

Rosa barged through the doors, stared directly at where Jake was casually leaning against a counter, already looking proud of himself. “What do you want?”

“You should go check out the displays.” Yeah, he was definitely proud of himself.

Rosa narrowed her eyes but walked around the store to the display case. Then she turned on Teddy. “What the hell, man?”

Teddy stared blankly at her.

“Why is the display case empty?”

“The organization was a mess. There was no order to it.”

“So?”

“I took them out.”

“And didn’t put them back??” Her voice was raising. Amy’d never seen Rosa properly angry. She seemed to be angry all the time, but now she looked ready to tear someone apart. “Did you clean the fridge?”

He paused, laughed. “Yes.”

She stormed past him to the back room, propping the door open, and opened the fridge. “No you fucking didn’t.”

Teddy laughed and Rosa looked about to explode. She slammed the door and disappeared. Jake had moved across from Amy, leaning an arm on the counter in front of her. He looked down at her, eyes bright and smile brighter. Amy didn’t want to laugh, but he was looking at her and he was smiling and he was laughing and she couldn’t take the glee bubbling up in her chest.

Amy didn’t know where they stood. He was flirting with her and then he wasn’t. He was ignoring her and then he wasn’t. He was giving her free drinks and he was still giving her free drinks.

She didn’t know why he didn’t take her number.

But that was okay.

They could be friends.

She could squash the feeling in her chest whenever he was around her and she could be his friend. That’s all she wanted.

When she left at exactly closing time, he smiled at her and waved and he yelled “See ya later,” across the store.

They could be friends.


	9. You Make Me Comfortable

How do you tell someone their existence comforts you without coming across as creepy or weird? How could she express that even when having a bad day, just the thought of seeing Jake made her happy? Or that when she was stressed about classes or assignments or when she couldn’t figure out what it was the professor was looking for, knowing that Jake would be there, handing her a drink and smiling that stupid beautiful smile at her, she just felt lighter?

She guessed you don’t tell people that.

She guessed you especially don’t tell friends that.

#

Jake was talking to Charles when Amy arrived the next day, but he dropped the conversation immediately to turn to her. Charles looked too excited to be insulted.

“Well hey there, Amy. Long time no chat. Americano?” He was already holding the cup, ready to pour.

Amy walked directly to her seat. She’d barely said hi before he was lightly placing the drink next to her hands. He crossed his arms on the counter and stared into her face, still smiling. “What are ya working on today?”

“I have a short response answer to the reading we did in class today.”

“Don’t you ever get tired of doing homework?”

“What?”

“You spend four hours a day here, doing homework.”

“It’s homework, Jake. It always changes and it doesn’t go away if you don’t do it.”

“That’s not true. I never do homework.”

She gasped. “Excuse me?” She stared hard at him, the breath gone from her lungs. “You don’t do your homework?”

“No. You see, Amy, I am a cool person with cool interests. Like _Die Hard _and the latest sneakers and walking away from explosions. Doing homework would kill my cool guy rep.”

“What cool guy rep?” Jake’s very tall, very muscular boss had walked up behind him and Jake stood up straighter, spinning around to face him. Terry looked down at him, then over to Amy. “I once watched this boy cry alone in his car to Taylor Swift’s “You Belong with Me.” He is _soft._”

Amy covered her mouth with her hand to hide her laugh.

Jake narrowed his eyes at her and scrunched up his mouth. Then he looked back up at his boss. “Thanks for joining the convo, Tear-Bear. But that was so long ago. It probably wasn’t even me. I mean, where would you have even seen that?”

“It was in the parking lot. A couple weeks ago.”

Jake sucked in air between his clenched teeth and looked in the opposite direction of Amy. When he turned back around, his face was clear, back to his smug grin. “Look, hey, you know I don’t do homework.”

Terry sighed but nodded. “I’ve never even heard of his classes. I don’t think he knows what his teachers look like.”

“Sure I do. They’re mostly bald old white men. And one attractive grad student. They don’t care if I do homework. It’s pointless. If you don’t understand it in class, you’re not gonna understand it later.”

“You should really do your homework, man.”

Jake waved his arm in front of him. “Well I don’t copy my notes in two color-coordinated notebooks either. Should I do that, too?” He stuck his tongue out at Amy, a knowing smile coating his face at her gasp. He winked at her.

Amy froze. Even when he was ignoring her, he was listening to her.

“You should really do that, too.” Terry walked off to help a guest that Jake was ignoring.

Jake pressed his hands to the counter and hefted himself up, leaning forward so his face was in Amy’s face. He leaned in close and lowered his voice conspiratorially. “I don’t do homework cause two of my teachers don’t believe in it so let us do it in class. My other classes give homework but it’s super easy so I usually just do it ten minutes before.” He leaned back a bit, looked into her eyes. “Don’t tell Terry.” Then dropped off the counter and turned around to help the growing line of customers.


	10. No Seriously, Is This Allowed?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the comments and kudos. I'm glad people are reading (and apparently enjoying) this story.   
And to all the people commenting on how slow the slow burn is: Buddy, pal, friend-o-mine, you have /no idea/ what is in store. This is purely fluff and the slowest I could rationally make it.   
Enjoy.

“Where do you work?”

Amy looked up from her binder, startled to find Jake leaning on one hand against the counter nearest her. She was hurriedly flipping through notes and hadn’t looked up since she sat down ten minutes before. “What?”

He leaned closer, smiling at her. “Where do you work?”

“Down the street.”

“Yeah, I got that, _Amy_. I meant _where?_ What store?”

“Oh!” She blinked. “It’s that little mom and pop store down the street. Super over-priced but really cute. Small businesses, gotta support ‘em.”

“But really expensive.”

“_So expensive.”_ They both laughed.

“Anything fun happen there?” He was leaning cross-armed on the counter, just smiling at her, as he’d started doing when no other customers needed help.

“Mostly I’m just organizing and reorganizing the store. Keeping it from getting too dusty. Also people steal a _lot_.” She could tell his interest had been piqued when his eyebrows shot up and his back straightened out. He had a weird interest in criminal activity, she’d noticed. “Yesterday, a very old lady grabbed armfuls of random trinkets off the counter and flipped me off. They weren’t even expensive. She probably took about $20 worth of plastic.”

Jake’s face lit up, his smile so wide it split his whole face.

“I know, right?”

“That’s insane!”

“I know. I’m supposed to be there right now. I’m on my break so I figured I would hang out here for a bit, work on some homework. But I have to go back in a little bit.”

The smile disappeared and was instead replaced with a pout. “What? No! Why?”

She laughed. “Because I have to go to work to make money.”

“How are you supposed to entertain me when I’m bored if you keep leaving?”

She rolled her eyes but inside her heart jumped into her throat. “Don’t be so dramatic.”

“Fine,” he sighed heavily and jabbed a finger at her. “But when you’re done you’re coming back to tell me if anything else was stolen.”

#

And she did. She left the shop at eight and was back in Starbucks at 8:05. The moment she walked in and plopped herself and her bag back down in her seat, Jake was placing her drink in front of her, smile back on his face. “Welcome back. Long time no see. Was anything else stolen?”

They continued the night like that, swapping stories about their funniest or wildest theft. Jake was listening intently whenever she spoke, taking in every word. She told him about the woman who got caught before she could get away because she was holding so much stuff, she ran like a penguin trying to propel the bag forward with her hips. They were both wheezing by the time he had to close up.

Amy started to pack her bag.

Her pens were all accounted for, placed in the allotted slots in her pencil case, then safely in the front of her bag. The binder was safely behind it, all slips and notes pressed in their places around it. Her phone, wallet, and keys were all in their proper places along her person and she was already wearing her jacket. She looked to Jake, heading toward the bathrooms with a broom, then to the door, which Rosa was locking.

Rosa was locking the door.

Amy checked her phone. It was exactly 9:30. Closing. Rosa was locking the door.

The rest of the customers had left and the store was cleaner than she’d seen it. Because the store was closed and she’d never seen it closed before. Because she shouldn’t have been in the store. Because it was closed.

Rosa walked past her on her way to the back room and she slid a bag of left over bagels across the bar to Amy as she went. Jake was talking behind her. And the store was locked. And she was still inside.

She stayed seated in her normal stool, but her leg began to bounce and she was clutching her bag in front of her, nails digging into her forearm. She turned to Jake.

He looked up from where he was sweeping the floor. “Did you ever finish that book over break?”

“I…” She stared at him, his eyebrows raised at her, eyes wide and waiting for her answer. The store was closed and she was still there and he was asking about books. “Yeah. I actually read five others with it.”

“God, you’re a nerd.” His smile was all soft affection.

She waited as Jake and Rosa packed up their bags and set the alarm. She stood by the door with Jake talking on and on about the plot of one of the _Die Hard_’s, she couldn’t really follow which. She was looking up at him, so close at her side. He always leaned right under her face when they were talking but she couldn’t remember a time when they had conversed where they were both standing. His eyes were bright and animated, arms swinging way more wildly than he should have while Rosa was trying to set the alarm.

He held the door for her and she walked out into the cool night air. The sky was clear and she was very much freezing, already shivering. Her arms were wrapped around her inside her sweatshirt and jacket and she was ready to run, wished she had left while the sun was still out, wished the wind were not going _through her. _

A couple people were waiting by the front door. She recognized Charles, who waved excitedly at her and called her by name. His eyes were dancing over and between her and Jake. He was standing with a girl in a very outlandish fur coat, her eyes glued to her phone, standing as far from Charles as she could while they both leaned against the same car.

“Hey, Gina. Charles.” Jake bumped his shoulder against the girl’s, but she was unaffected, almost like she was completely unaware of the world existing around her. He waved a hand in her face and shrugged when she didn’t respond.

Amy remembered hearing her name. Gina was the one visiting his Nana. She looked between the two of them. She guessed they could be dating.

Gina finally looked up, took note of the group that formed around her, barely acknowledging Amy standing a bit out of the circle as she tried to inch away. She looked to Jake, who was lounging across her shoulder and rubbing the wild fur on her coat. “Gross. Jake, what did I say about touching my furs?”

“That I should appreciate them more ’cause they’re “softer than the fake fur” and “those factory kids worked hard”?”

“They did. They worked so hard.”

Never mind. Amy could no longer see it.

“You ready for wild crazy fun, Jacob?”

“You bet I am!”

“Then why did we invite Charles?”

“Hey!”

Amy was slowly backing away from the group. She already felt like she’d intruded by seeing the store after closing. This was crossing into unexplored territory and she was sure she didn’t belong. Plus she was absolutely frozen. It was no longer snowing and the ground was dry but she was sure it would be back to freezing snow storms within the week and she would probably die of frostbite.

“You heading home?”

She turned back to see Jake standing apart from the group once more, having followed her away the moment she thought she could escape unnoticed. His mouth had scrunched up to one side and his brows bunched together. His hands were fiddling at his sides before he shoved them in the pockets of his leather jacket. Which looked really good on him and did not escape Amy’s notice.

“Oh, yeah. It’s about time.”

“Okay. Cool cool cool. Yeah. See you later. Get home safe.”

Her hand twitched at her side. God she wanted to hug him. Only partly because he looked like he probably emitted warmth and she had already lost feeling in her fingers. “Right. Thanks. Have fun with your ‘wild crazy’ night.”

He laughed. His whole body leaned toward her, lowering slightly with his voice and he held two fingers up against the side of his mouth, whispering to the side of it. “We’re going back to Gina’s place to watch rom coms. Turns out Rosa’s got a soft spot for ‘em.” His eyebrows wiggled. “Don’t tell her I told you. She scares me and I like living.” 

“I’ll try not to let on.”

“Thanks.” He smiled at her again, the bright beaming smile, but he didn’t turn away. He stayed staring at her until she held up a hand in a goodbye and turned to leave. Once she was down the block, she turned back to see him rejoining his friends.


	11. Who Needs Financial Stability When You Can Have My Company?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy September 1st!   
The hurricane might knock out our wifi so I'm posting this chapter now.   
Enjoy!  
((everyone affected stay safe.))

“So how was your ‘wild and crazy’ night out?”

Jake laughed. He was the only one out in the store, hunched over the sink pretending to rewash some cups with Amy sat directly across from him in her usual seat at the bar. Only a few customers were still scattered around, it being the slow point in the night while everyone else was at dinner. Rosa was hidden in the kitchen, doing only she knows what. Amy’s head was rested on her arms, her homework long forgotten.

Jake glanced at the door to the back room, saw it abandoned and with no one hiding behind it, then turned back to Amy. “We watched _The Parent Trap. _Because it’s an amazing movie and we can all agree.” His eyes darted to either side. He whispered, “Even Rosa.”

Amy’s eyes widened and her mouth dropped open, donning an expression to match Jake’s. “That’s so weird.”

“Isn’t it??? But it was great. Me and Charles watched it once for bros night and Rosa weirdly loves Nancy Meyers? So. Oh and Gina saw it with me like 10 times when it came out.”

He and Gina saw _Parent Trap _together. That’s information she doesn’t know what to do with. Maybe they’re related? Or they’ve been together for a _really_ long time. Not that it matters. “It’s ‘Charles and I’ and I know you know that.”

“I did not.”

“But Nancy Meyers?”

“I know, it’s insane!” His eyes darted to the door after this outburst, but there was still no movement. He lowered his voice again. “We were all freaking out when she told us.”

“Well, it sounds like you had a lot of fun.”

“We did! Our movie nights are awesome. We mostly watch rom coms and things get ridiculous. You should’ve been there. You would love it.”

She smiled softly at him, but her heart slammed up against her ribs. “It sounds like it.” She wanted to ask about Gina, but a customer had stepped up to the register and directed his attention away. So he walked over. When he came back, she felt it was too late to ask without raising suspicions. You can’t exactly say “So that girl you were with last night, how do you know her and what’s your relation to her” without sounding a bit jealous and weird. And they were just friends, nothing more. She didn’t want to make him feel weird about her, and asking that would definitely make it weird.

“So do you work tomorrow?”

Amy sighed. “Unfortunately. Plus I close all week.”

“Gross.” His face scrunched up, his lips squished up to his nose and his nose all wrinkled. One of his eyes was near closed from how much he was squinting and contorting his features. “Tell them you quit then come hang with me while _I_ close all week.”

“I don’t think I can just quit because it suits you.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s a job, Jake. And those are important.”

“Well, I’m more important so jot that down.” He waved his hand in the air, mimed writing on paper.

A bright, wide smile broke out across Amy’s face, but she just shook her head. “I worked this morning, too. I wasn’t scheduled but my boss called me in and I was already awake so I had no excuse.”

“You need a list of excuses like I have. I once told my boss I was out of town surfing. I don’t even know how to do that.”

“That’s lying.”

“No, that’s getting out of an unscheduled work day. You weren’t supposed to be there anyway. You’re not hurting anyone by not showing up when you’re not supposed to anyway.”

She huffed out a breath, arms crossed over her chest. That’s an impossible idea for her to comprehend, but he wouldn’t understand that, so she decided not to push it. If her boss gives her more hours, she doesn’t say no. What if something happened and she could have prevented it if only she had just gone to work? But she didn’t think he’d share that mindset, given his history of complaining about being at work.

Instead she just laughed. 

“So I won’t see you all week?”

She didn’t know why she was surprised to see the pout on his lips. “Probably not. I have to be at work barely an hour after class gets out every day.”

“That’s still an hour you could be spending with me.”

Her eyes went wide and she was sure her heart was finally going to shut down on her. “Jake…”

“I know, I know. You have to get ready, like a nerd.” His arms were crossed over his chest, the blue shirt he was wearing stretching nicely over his arms. He was trying to look away like a forlorn old friend who’d been tossed away with the morning recyclables but he looked more like a moody child throwing his second tantrum of the day. “Okay,” he began, turning to narrow his eyes at her face, “you don’t have to stay an hour. Just tell me the exact time you’ll be showing up and I will have a drink ready for you to take to work. You only have to come in for like two minutes at a time. And I still get to see you.”

“And what if I’m running late?”

He raised a brow at her.

“Fair point.”

“Come _on, _Amy. I’m doing this for you. How will you ever survive if you don’t see me for a whole week?”

“I think I’d do just fine not seeing you for a month, let alone a week.”

His eyes brightened. “Wanna bet?” Amy straightened in her seat, opened her mouth to answer. “Wait. No. I take it back.”

“Would you renege on a bet, Jacob?”

He looked lost. He uncrossed his arms so they hung at his sides, one fiddled against the hem of his jeans. Jake looked all around like he wanted very much to rise to the challenge despite whatever thought was nagging at his brain. “I can’t do that ’cause I don’t even know what it means. But, for once, we’re not betting on this.”

“You’d lose anyway.”

“Look. I’m trying to save you from missing my company. Just accept my offer of coffee.”

She smiled but her mind was set. She picked up her bag.

His eyes narrowed and he sighed, but he smiled a crooked smile. “Fine. But when you show up before the week is up, you’re bringing me a pound of sour candies.”

“See you next week, Jake.” 


	12. You Missed Me? What a Loser.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for the lovely comments. Eventually I'll reply to them individually

Amy didn’t have to see him.

She’d already more than proven that the three weeks she was gone. She could go the rest of her life without seeing him if she needed or wanted to. She didn’t have to, though, so she wasn’t going to do that. But she could, if she so pleased.

It’s not a real challenge anyway. She wasn’t planning on going to Starbucks all week. She didn’t have time. She went out with Kylie to check out a new bookstore Sunday morning and spent the rest of the day working on the homework she wouldn’t have time to do between classes and work.

Monday, she got out of her classes at 2, with just enough time to run home, change and eat lunch, and still get to work 20 minutes early for her shift. Normally she would use that time to pick up a coffee, but instead she took the time to sit in the back room and plot out her upcoming assignment on a piece of notebook paper.

“Hey, Amy. Someone’s looking for you.”

She looked up to see that her coworker, Scully, had walked into the backroom and sat down, ignoring that he was leaving the shop unattended. Amy got up, ready to transition into customer service mode if it was any one of the regular customers she had been building a rapport with. Instead she found Rosa standing in the middle of the store, staring around at the myriad of miscellaneous clutter.

“Um… Hi? Rosa?”

Rosa glanced at her briefly before holding out a paper coffee cup, steam rising from the lip. “Jake asked me to bring you this.”

Of course he did.

“And you said yes?”

Rosa’s lip twitched up. “He offered to work my shift Friday if I left the store during my shift today to bring you coffee. Store’s real busy right now. He’s by himself. It’s hilarious.” She continued looking around. “You sell weapons here?”

Amy held the coffee between her hands and breathed in the scent rising from it. Her usual. “I don’t think it’s legal to sell weapons this close to a college, but yes, we sell knives in the back for some reason.”

“Sweet.”

Rosa left fifteen minutes later.

#

Charles showed up on Tuesday, excited and grinning, her coffee held perfectly still in his hands. He was practically glowing when he saw her standing behind the register and jumped in line behind her customer. When the young girl waved and walked away, Charles hopped up to stand at the counter.

“Isn’t this so weird? You’re behind the counter this time! I’m not buying anything, though. Just a delivery for the love of my friend’s life.”

Amy flushed and grabbed the cup from his hands. “Hi, Charles.”

“Hi, Amy! So this is where you work. I thought you came to Starbucks just to see Jake. I mean, that’s what he thinks anyway.”

She rolled her eyes and took a sip from the much needed drink, noting the added kick of espresso that Jake sometimes added when she was extra stressed out. Listening to Charles talk, she thought she knew why he added it. “Did he offer to take one of your shifts too?”

“Absolutely not! I volunteered. I would do anything to save Jake’s relationships.”

“What relationship? Jake and I aren’t dating.”

“Not yet, but you never will be if you don’t make up. Whatever the fight is, Amy, it’s not worth it.” His voice got higher, pleading. “He misses you, almost more than in January when you didn’t show up for three weeks and I found him crying in his car to Taylor Swift’s _You Belong with Me.”_

She sucked the liquid into the back of her throat and started to cough. She had to put the cup down on the desk to cover her face while she choked the burning coffee down. Her throat ached and burned, and she ignored the scratchiness of another incoming coughing fit. Charles was watching her as she cleared her throat. “We’re not fighting. It’s just a bet. Which I’m winning. And it’ll be over Saturday, or earlier when Jake caves.”

“Jake does _not_ lose bets. What’s the bet?”

“He thinks _I_ can’t bear to stay away from _him_ for more than a week.”

“Oh, Amy, he’s gonna lose.”

Amy laughed. “Thank you, Charles. Now get out of my store. But first.” She tore out a slip of receipt paper, wrote as quickly as she could bring herself to do so without writing sloppily. Then she folded it up and handed it to him. “Give this to Jake.”

“Ooh, a steamy love note. What’s it say?” His eyes were wide.

“It says ‘_Next time don’t send Charles._’”

“Fair. Good call.”

#

Rosa was waiting for her when she arrived to work on Wednesday. She handed the coffee right over without a word and followed Amy inside. “Charles told everyone about the bet.”

Amy sighed. She should’ve seen that coming. “Are you here to tell me to call it off because Jake’s sad, too?”

“What? No. I’m here to tell you to crush ‘im. He’s acting all sad and mopey. I’m saying you’re absolutely gonna win this. If you really wanna destroy him, you should move out of the country and don’t tell him.”

“I’m not moving out of the country.”

Rosa sighed in agitation. “Fine, whatever. Your decision. But what I really came here to do is tell you that I’m helping you win. I’m not doing his deliveries any more. And neither is anyone else. If he wants to give you coffee, he can accept defeat and bring it himself.” She turned to leave, opened the door and started her way out. “But if he doesn’t cave tomorrow, call the store and I’ll bring you some. Jake never has to know.”

“Aw, thanks, Rosa.”

“Whatever.”

#

No one shows up on Thursday and Amy calls Rosa half way through her shift. It’s almost 8 and she knows it’s the slowest hour of the night so it won’t affect anyone too badly. Rosa shows up five minutes later and puts the cup directly into Amy’s hands. Amy presses the side to her cheek, breathing in the scent and just enjoying the warmth seeping into her skin. The temperature outside had dropped 5 degrees over-night and even her jacket wasn’t helping ward off the cold leaking through the windows.

“Jake’s going crazy. No one would deliver for him today and he spent forty minutes muttering to himself. It’s amazing.”

“He doesn’t know you’re here, right?”

“No. He knows the consequences of asking personal questions.” Rosa picked up a nick-knack off the counter, a fidget toy, and started to fiddle with it. “If he doesn’t cave before the week, you should extend it a few days. He’d probably think you were dead.”

“That’s mean.”

“No, that’s hilarious. You’re too caring. Whatever. He’ll probably be here before you tomorrow.”

#

Rosa was wrong.

He wasn’t there before Amy. But only because Amy got there early to work on some assignments. Jake also didn’t show up the first hour, while she organized and reorganized the shelves and toys. People came and went but it had started to snow lightly outside and the street was dusted in white and especially brisk.

She was trying to keep busy, keep moving, to avoid the cold creeping in.

The bell chimed over the door while she was restocking a shelf. “Hello!” she called out, not looking up right away.

Jake stood just inside the door, leather jacket filmed with white, his eyes roving the walls and shelves filled with candy and nick-knacks. A paper cup was in his hand, hanging at his side, along with a grocery bag. He looked abashed when Amy grinned at him. His other hand moved to scratch at the back of his neck.

“Hello, Jacob. Or should I say: Hello, Loser?”

“Ha ha.”

“You _missed_ me.”

“I did not. I just didn’t want you to die of frostbite ’cause it’s so cold out and you would be cold on the surface of the sun. I was being thoughtful and putting your needs before the bet.” He held the cup forward and she immediately grabbed it, cradling it to her chest. “And I was right to.”

Amy laughed, moved to the counter so she could lean against it. Jake followed her, leaning next to her. His arm brushed up against hers. She thought about what Charles said, how he’d cried after she disappeared for 3 weeks with no word. She looked over at his happily smiling face and wondered why he would cry over her. Charles was probably exaggerating. He was probably interpreting things wrong, anyway. It could’ve been about anyone. Jake had gone on a date while she was gone, she’d heard him mention it. Besides, it’s Taylor Swift. Of course he cried. She makes him feel things.

“Where’s my prize?”

Jake held up the bag. “We never agreed on your prize since we both were sure you would lose, because, I mean, just look at me. So here’s a bag of bagels from that place you like.” Amy felt her body slump and her heart hurt. The place he was talking about was twenty minutes from campus. He told her it was too far to go just for bagels when there was another shop closer.

She accepted the bag then looked back to his face, soft affection watching her. “You remembered.”

“Of course I did. Just like I remembered your need for hot coffee. How’d you even survive yesterday?”

Amy grinned at him. “Rosa brought me one.”

Jake’s jaw dropped and his brow scrunched together. He gaped, floundered, and tried and tried again to form words. Finally, he let out a gasp. “That’s where she ran off to! How dare – I never – I can’t believe!” He crossed his arms and stared pointedly ahead of him. “You teamed up against me?"

“It wasn’t hard. You were already losing.” She laughed and leaned over into him, bumping their shoulders together and looking up into his eyes. “You missed me.”

“No, I was just so bored and you weren’t doing your job entertaining me.”

She rolled her eyes. “You can’t live without me.”

“No,” he sighed, a smile still resting on his lips. “I guess I can’t.”


	13. What a Nerd

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I figured if I have to be awake at 5am to go to work, I may well post a chapter at 5am so here

“I quit. I’m done.”

Jake was pacing in front of her. He had scooped up all the ingredients for a drink and had resumed pacing back and forth in front of her.

“_‘Two iced lattes and a venti Frappuccino that isn’t on the official menu.’_ How ’bout a Hello? ‘How are you doing today, Jake?’ ‘I’m amazing, thanks for asking. How are _you _doing today?’ Jeeze, who raised you.”

Amy could see the frustration radiating off of him and tried her hardest to smother the laughter bubbling up in her chest. “A polite greeting? Who do you think you are, Jake? A person?”

His head snapped around to look at her sideways, the corner of his mouth twitching up. “Oh, no, of course not. My bad.” He finished the drink, placed it on the counter, and collapsed on the bar across from her. His head lay on his arms just in front of her, the mess of his hair brushing against Amy’s arm. Close enough to reach for. All she need do was lift her hand and it would be in his hair. “One day, I’m just going to stop showing up, and you’ll know. I’ll just… quit.”

“Is it that bad?”

He lifted his head, soft eyes peeking out at her from behind his arms. They traced the edges of her face, her shoulders poised perfectly upright, settled on her eyes. His mouth was hidden in his arms, but she could see the slightest lift in his cheeks pressing his eyes a little more closed. “No… Not today.”

Amy shoved her hand further into her armpit, further away from the curls pooling in front of her. She could feel her face soften looking at him, her eyes closed just a little bit, her smile became less wide but much more sincere. Her lips pulled up just so on one side. She realized she wasn’t talking, that they were staring into each other’s faces in silence, but she couldn’t force herself to break it. To say the absolute least? It was nice.

##

“This one lady confused _The Lord of the Rings_ with _Harry Potter_. Can you believe that?”

She was vaguely aware through the last ten minutes of her rant that she was being extremely nerdy and she was probably going to scare him away. Jake’s a dork but she doesn’t think he’s a nerd. She’s not sure he’s ever even read a book. Sure, he has perfect attendance (allegedly) and does all of his homework and aces his classes (again, allegedly). But he’s never shown any interest in any movie outside of Die Hard. She risked a peak from behind her hands where she had exasperatedly dropped her face at the end of her rambling. He was staring at her in a way she was starting to become familiar with. His eyes looked soft and his head was slightly tilted.

“Pfft, right. The story about the Boy Who Lived so he could carry the One Ring to Rule Them All to the Death Star to defeat Lord Voldemort and gain eternal life and always be a child in Neverland. It’s all _basically _the same, right? Pffft.” His lips pressed together and his mouth turned up, scrunching up his face in playful disgust.

“Oh my God! Right?” Her sudden outburst startled even her, but it mostly just made Jake laugh again. Her face flushed. “Ah, sorry. I just… I’m really passionate about books… I maybe can get a little excited…”

She expected to hear his laugh, but it never came. She glanced up and he was just smiling at her, not his usual face splitting grin, but a smaller one, barely even there. He smiled at her and it felt like she was the only person in the entire world in that moment. Which was ridiculous, of course, she knew.

“You’re such a nerd.” His voice, barely above a whisper, was filled with adoration.

“I really am.”

#

It had been over an hour since she opened her book to read but the words had stopped filtering through her mind. They blurred together on the page, floating around just out of view. Amy had felt herself drifting off, waking dreams of Hogwarts floating away when her eyes began to drift closed. The noises around her suddenly rose in volume, became harder to block out, and she found herself closing the book to look up at Jake, quietly making a drink across from her.

“She lives.”

“Mmm, what?” She hunched over on the counter and rubbed a hand against her forehead. “How long was I out?”

“You’ve been sleep-reading for about twenty minutes now. You were real reading for an hour, though.”

She groaned. “Why didn’t you wake me?” Her whole body felt heavy and her neck was aching from constantly jerking forward each time she started to drift off. She stood up, feeling every muscle in her legs stretch and groan and start to burn. The same went for her spine and arms when she stretched her arms over her head.

“But you looked so peaceful.” Jake’s face broke out in a grin. “I’m kidding. You looked like me every day in math class.” He handed her a fresh drink, steam drifting off it and over to her. “So does the book suck?”

Amy stared at him, wide eyed. “What? No. It’s Harry Potter.” He was staring at her blankly so she was forced to continue. “Jake. You know Harry Potter. You’ve mentioned it before.”

“Yeah, the movies. I’ve never read a book in my life.”

She was struck breathless for a moment. Amy knew he was a self-proclaimed slacker and wasn’t a big fan of the education system. But Jake always listened when she talked about the books she was reading and asked her about them enough that she was sure he’d at least had some interest in literature. He read comic books, which he insisted counts. She had read 9 books in the last month, not to mention her required readings and outside research. She assumed he'd read at least one this year.

“You’ve read a book before. Please, please tell me you’ve read _a book._”

“I read Everybody Poops, but mostly that was read to me.”

“Oh my god, I can’t believe I like you.” It was mumbled. Under her breath. Barely audible and certainly not intended to be. She could feel her insides go cold.

“What?”

“How have you never read a book?” She pressed her hands into the table, stared him in the eye and willed him to move on to the matter at hand. Willed him to forget what she just said, or at least not to think about it too much. For a brief moment, she watched the film cover his eyes, staring at her but through her and galaxies off into the distance at the same time. His lips parted like a fish and she could almost imagine his cheeks were tinted red. And then her hand slipped and his the table again, shaking it and jostling them both into reality, and the look was gone as quickly as it came. He blinked a few times and shook his head and she was sure she’d imagined whatever look he might’ve made. “Everyone reads books.”

“Wow, way to overlook the underprivileged and uneducated kids of the world, Amy.”

She narrowed her eyes at him and let out a huff. A customer came before she was able to continue the topic so she was forced to hold in her frustration. At both him and herself. She traced the letters on the front cover of her book and glanced up at him. A second customer appeared to keep his attention away even longer and he turned and stuck out his tongue at her. Okay. He was obviously done with that conversation. She sighed as heavily as possible, appreciating the moment she could feel him stare at her, and shoved the topic into a filing cabinet at the mid-back of her brain. Something to mention for later, without prefacing it with an accidental confession.

She flipped her book back open but the moment was gone. The words had drifted away and she could no longer focus on Harry’s complaints about writing the equivalent of a page-long essay on magical history, something Amy wished she had the opportunity to do.

When Jake finally stood in front of her again, her annoyance at him dissipating, she stared at him hard. “You’ve seen all the movies, though, right?”


	14. Ima Need You Both to Back Off

“Except for that one guy.”

“God I _hate _that guy.”

“Yeah, he sucks.”

All of the baristas were crowded around the back of the counter, complaining openly about their least favorite customers of the day. Charles hated very few people, so it was surprising to hear him speak negatively about anyone, whereas Rosa hated everyone all the time. Even Terry had joined in, and he’d always seemed like the most positive of the staff.

Amy wasn’t a part of the conversation. She wasn’t listening. At least, that’s what she was hoping they would assume. She hadn’t moved in fifteen minutes, pointedly staring at her note paper, occasionally moving her pencil over a word so it looked like she was doing work. She didn’t want to listen but she _couldn’t help it. They were standing right next to her, for God’s sake. _

“Amy.”

She jumped, her whole body going tense and her eyes widening, but she didn’t look up.

Rosa’s narrowed eyes appeared under Amy’s nose. Amy finally looked up. Rosa’s pinched fingers crossed her mouth and turned, the Rosa sign for “Shut it or I will maim you.”

“I didn’t—I wasn’t—I would never…”

“I see you. You’re sitting there quietly, listening to everything. You know everything that goes on in here.” Her words sounded threatening but the approval in her eyes threw Amy.

Jake’s arm shot out as he stepped into the center of the circle, sticking his face out. “Amy knows everything _and _she tells me everything. She said she hates all of you.”

“What? I would never—I—if I hate anyone, it’s you!”

His mouth dropped dramatically and a hand raised to cover his heart. “Oh, Amy. You don’t have to force yourself to insult me to protect their feelings.” He leaned all the way over the counter, wrapping an arm over her shoulders. “Amy and I are bffls. She tells me everything.”

Amy’s eyes somehow widened more, until she was sure they were going to fall out. Which she would have been grateful for because she was sure the blush was going to set her entire body on fire. It had to be obvious. Even Rosa was snickering. And Charles looked more excited than she felt, like he might die right then and have no regrets.

And Jake was touching her. His arm was still around her shoulders. Heavy and warm. And his hand was squeezing her on the shoulder, pulling her into him and she didn’t even mind the slight ache where her rib was pressed into the counter between them because his hand was squeezing her arm and he had just called them “bffls” like a seven year old school child.

Rosa smirked at her, the rest showed variations of knowing glances. Jake seemed fully oblivious to them all, only squeezing her arm closer to him. She wanted very much for him to stay like that.

And then Charles had to ruin it.

“See, this? This is what I’m living for. Just get together already.”

Jake tensed at her side and they both pulled away at once. The loss of his warmth and his hand squeezing her bicep was very noticeable. Amy’s head dropped back to facing the countertop, her flushed face and racing heart hidden from the rest of them. She glanced at Jake out of the corner of her eye, but he was pointedly staring at the wall across from her. His ears were red.

“Charles,” Jake’s voice came out strangled. “I’m gonna need you to back off.”

##

Kylie sat in the seat next to Amy, staring between her and Jake, who currently had his back to them. He didn’t say anything to her when she came in and had barely acknowledged her at all, outside of giving her her free drink and awkwardly handing Kylie one as well.

Kylie insisted on this, of course. She wanted to see who was taking up so much of Amy’s time and thoughts. Amy was going to refuse but it seemed suspicious and it’s not like she had anything to hide, really, since nothing was going on, and then Kylie would see that nothing was going on and would leave her alone, thank you very much. Besides, Jake was probably not interested in her in a romantic way and that was _fine, Kylie, really, just get over it already. _They were friends. Just really good friends. And if bringing Kylie with her would prove that, then fine. Not that there’s anything to prove. Besides, Starbucks is a public place so she can’t really tell anyone not to go there. Someone has to pay for drinks there.

Only, when they both walked in together, Jake took one look at them together and more silently than he’s ever been, he took their orders. He was caught off guard so Amy was finally allowed to approach the register, thinking maybe he’d let her pay if she brought a witness. He didn’t. Instead, he stared between them, took Kylie’s order, asked Amy if she’d like her usual, then waved them both away without another word.

And so they sat at the bar, also in silence, sipping their drinks. Amy was watching Jake, or at least she was watching his back. It was tense and most importantly, it was constantly facing her, which it never did.

Kylie was watching Amy.

“So this is what you do all day?”

“What?”

“Sit here and stare at a boy?”

Amy spun around in her seat, eyes wide and lips pressed tight together. Her eyes briefly shot in Jake’s direction, but he hadn’t moved. Her shoulders hunched forward and her voice came out just above a whisper. “I do not—”

“_Amy._”

“He’s right— I don’t... I do homework. All I do is homework. Remember that essay I handed in a week early? I did that here. I’m productive!” She raised her voice so suddenly that she had to look up. Jake was speaking with a customer but she could see his shoulders shake just a little and the corner of his lip was nudging up.

Rosa had walked in the room and raised a brow at her. “Amy.”

“Rosa! Please tell my friend Kylie how productive I am here.”

Rosa’s gaze brushed over Kylie. “Amy’s productive as shit. All she does is homework. She’s a huge nerd.” She walked on, grabbing the cup Jake placed on the counter and moved to start making the drink.

“Not… really the direction I was going, but thanks anyway?” She watched Rosa nod her acknowledgement, then turned her gaze back to Jake. He had a long line of customers and his hand had been rubbing the same spot on the back of his neck for 2 and a half minutes. She could tell he was having a bad day just from the way his eyes looked heavier than usual.

“Ames, what are you doing?”

“Hm?”

“You’re staring.”

“I’m not- You know what? Do you want to leave? We’ve been here a while and it’s kind of making me want to do homework. Yeah, we should go.” She jumped out of her seat at the same time as she heard a loud crash, a long _tchshhhh _and a very heavy sigh. She looked up just in time to see Jake’s face fall and many expletives drop from his mouth.

One of the large jugs of iced teas lay sideways at his feet along with a pool of dark liquid and ice cubes. The front of Jake’s apron and his pants were splattered and his arms up to his elbows were dripping, just missing the rolled up sleeves of his blue plaid shirt. His hands were tense, fingers clenching and unclenching. His eyes were narrowed and shiny, his jaw tight. Amy was sure he might cry.

Rosa glanced down at the floor. “Ha!”

Jake didn’t say anything and the strangled noises coming from his throat seemed unconscious.

Rosa turned and walked into the back room, walked back out holding a mop and bucket, and thrust it into Jake’s hands. “I’ll make the drinks.”

He sighed but it was a little lighter and his shoulders smoothed a little more.

“Amy, we were going?”

“Uh… yes. Yeah.” Kylie was already at the door, waiting. “One minute. Hey…”

Jake glanced up at her.

She reached across the bar, her hand just brushing his bicep. She could feel the tension leaving his arm little by little. She could also feel how warm he was. “I know it’s hard, attempt to have a better day. Okay?”

His smile was soft. “I will not. But thank you.”

He raised a hand in salute when she walked out the door a minute later, and the tension began to leave his shoulders as he mopped.


	15. I Just Really Like That Guy, [Insert Name Here]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed that singular affectionate touch cause that's IT. I'm joking. Maybe.

Jake was sitting in the parking lot as she walked toward the Starbucks. He was sat on the curb, staring down at his phone and shoveling sour candies into his mouth. He glanced up briefly, spotted her, and smiled and waved. Then he looked back at his phone so Amy continued on into the store.

He passed her as she was standing in the line. He stopped and stared at her. She stuck her tongue out and he pouted angrily but moved on into the backroom.

Rosa was at the register, not speaking to the customers but moving the line along. The first one with a long order received a particularly scathing look, after which the rest of the line kept to simple orders, getting out of the line as quickly as they could. They all eyed Amy with worry when she took her place at the counter and smiled cheerily at Rosa.

“Hey, Rosa.”

“Sup?”

“I finished the essay I was drafting last week and the professor let me turn it in a week early. Everyone in class was really pissed.” Amy was weirdly proud of that.

Rosa smirked. “Nice.”

The customers that came before Amy shifted uncomfortably, watching the exchange.

“The usual?” Rosa didn’t touch any buttons, didn’t even glance at the register. Amy nodded and Rosa started to make the drink, ignoring the line of customers that came before her. Amy didn’t move from the counter, stood waiting to pay. Rosa shrugged and stepped away from the register, not ringing up the drink before she handed it to her. “You’re fine. Go away.”

Amy rolled her eyes and sighed. At least with Rosa, she knew where she stood. She wouldn’t be surprised if Rosa was the one working to take down the corporation from the inside, one unpaid for drink at a time. 

#

Amy drooped against the bar, her head pressed into her hands. The thrumming in her temples was just a little too distracting from the still unfinished assignment. She heard a light tap next to her and opened her eyes to see Jake’s hand sliding a cup to sit in front of her binder. She reached for it and let the warmth from the cup seep into her hands and through the rest of her body.

Jake leaned against the bar and dropped his chin into his hands. “How ya holding up?”

“Tired.”

“Me, too!”

“I had extra homework and I accepted an extra shift at work last night so I didn’t have time to do it. I only slept two hours instead of my required eight.” She groaned heavily and tried to dig her face further into her arms. “Why do I have to be so responsible?”

Jake gasped as dramatically as he could manage. “Amy Insert-Last-Name-Here is complaining about responsibility???”

She rolled her eyes. “No, I’m complaining about how perfect I am at all times. It’s different.”

“Oh, so bragging?”

She smiled widely and made no effort to respond.

Jake found a sponge and began scrubbing at nothing in particular in the sink. “Well, you _are_ perfect, Amy, so it’s not exactly unfounded, right?” He avoided her eye as he said it offhandedly, his scrubbing suddenly harder and more forced. The sink was clean. Rosa had just washed it. But he kept going, pretending to notice a speck. “Amy. Ame...s. Ames. Huh. I’m gonna call you Ames.”

Amy’s heart skipped like a child during playground hopscotch, so erratically she was sure she was going to fall over from the sudden chest pain. She looked him in the eye and he had the far-off, filmed-over look she was now sure she saw on his face when she’d slipped up and said she liked him. “Okay…”

He was already staring in her direction but he blinked suddenly when she spoke, his body jerking once, and his eyes focused on her face. “I mean, if you don’t mind, of course. It’s your name.”

“No, no, it’s… it’s fine. It’s good.” She wanted so much to hear him say it again. They were friends, he’d said as much. And maybe he felt something else for her, like Charles said, like his casual flirting sometimes suggests. But he’s not acting on it, and that’s completely his choice. He doesn’t have to do anything he doesn’t want to. Even if he does like her, or doesn’t, or whatever. They’re friends first. She’s good with that. She likes being Jake’s friend. But she also liked hearing him call her Ames. “You can call me whatever.”

“Alright, Whatever. Weird choice but hey,” He pointed a finger in her face, wagging it inches from her nose. He put on a serious face, brows raised and head tilted forward. “It’s your name. Don’t let anyone tell you different.”

Amy rolled her eyes but she was smiling.

#

It’s not really an invasion of privacy if the information is out publicly for the world to know, and it’s not weird to google people anyway, since everyone does it nowadays. That’s just how you make sure someone isn’t a creepy weirdo who may or may not kill you. It’s a precaution. Plus it’s just… showing interest in the life of a person she cares about. Out of curiosity.

She found his Facebook almost immediately. Amy doesn’t know his last name, or at least she _didn’t _know his last name. But he put his job in his bio so all she had to do was look up Starbucks baristas named Jake who lived within a 50 mile radius of campus. Facebook let her find it in less than two minutes. Probably less if he didn’t have such a generic first name.

His profile was public and his picture was of him and Charles. Rosa was cropped out of the background, and Amy was sure it hadn’t been Jake’s suggestion.

He posted mostly memes and really bad jokes. He also had some other sites linked for easy access. It was all available to her, right there in the open. She didn’t click through his photos. She didn’t.

She also waited until she was safely in the break room at her job before looking any of this up, all on incognito mode, of course. That didn’t stop her from staring uncomfortably over her shoulder every few seconds and shielding her screen. Just in case.

She made sure to delete any evidence there might have been of her browsing before she headed out of the store for the night. She wouldn’t use it anyway, until he added her first. That was the rule.

But she did keep his profile picture installed in her mind throughout the day. He just looked so happy to be with friends. She wished he’d look at her that way, though she supposed she wouldn’t know.


	16. Touching or Touching? Who's to Say

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ima go ahead and apologize for this chapter but I got in my feelings so here we are.

Amy collapsed into her usual seat with a huff that was purposefully loud and dramatic and was nearly on level with Jake’s usual dramatics. But it also kind of helped. Her head hurt and she was exhausted and annoyed and had all around far too much energy for how tired she was. She just wanted to go to bed but instead she walked directly from her store to Starbucks and waited for Jake to appear in front of her.

“Bad day?”

She huffed once more and blew a loose strand of hair from her face as she dropped her head into her arms. “People are the worst and I am far more capable than they’ll allow me to prove. I’ve been here a while. I know what I’m doing. I don’t need some new person to show up and “explain” my job to me.”

Jake’s face shriveled, his eyes narrowed and his mouth pulled into a thin line. “Okay. Hold that thought. I’ll be right back.” He spun around to the machine behind him and started to move things around and touch the things around him. Amy wasn’t paying much mind but when he spun back to her, he placed a hot cup in front of her, a very light calming scent spilling out with the steam. He then knocked a rhythm onto the door to the back room before slapping it open. “Rosa, I’m taking my break now! Kay, byeeee.”

Rosa was in front of him in seconds, glaring her usual stare. “What the fuck, Jake?”

He nodded behind him, toward where Amy was sitting slumped over the counter, her chin resting on the table and her arms splayed out in front of her. Rosa’s brows scrunched together but she nodded and took her place behind the bar while Jake dropped himself onto the stool next to Amy. He loosened the apron from around his neck, let it fall to his waist so it was hidden against the bar, and pushed the cup closer to her hands. “Chamomile. Drink. And tell Dr. Jake what’s wrong.”

Amy rolled her eyes but straightened up a little more in her seat and cradled the tea between her hands. “Some guy came into work asking for an application, then spent thirty minutes explaining why what I was doing was wrong and followed me around trying to do my job for me.” Her voice was quiet when she spoke, barely above a whisper, and Jake was leaning in close to listen. “I was shelving new stock and he took a box from me because I’m a girl.” Her eyes were narrowed and her jaw was tight and one of her hands clenched and unclenched repeatedly.

Jake leaned back, a look of disgust plastered on his face. “What the fuck. Did you kill him? Because you should have.”

Amy sighed, hand unclenching and lying flat on the counter. “No. But I did rip up his application in front of him.”

Jake laughed, bright and pure. He smiled down on her head, her face pointed away from him. Amy glanced up at him, her features already relaxing and the tension leaving her shoulders just a little at a time. He was smiling at her and she couldn’t help smiling back. It was kind of funny, when she thought about it.

“It’s just… it’s not only him.” She slumped again, the smile faltering. “I had to take an art credit last semester. Some guy from my class started talking to me about his opinions on art, telling me all the things he found wrong with my assignments. Despite his not being any better. And then he told me that he and his friends talked about me and what they all think of me. By the end of it he was telling me all the things I couldn’t do because I’m a girl. Which is stupid and wrong but you can’t argue with people like that. I’ve been competing with my brothers my whole life and I know I’m capable of way more than that jerk but it’s just so… _ugh_.” She stopped trying to form words, all the tension and anger coming together to strangle the air out of her throat. She squeezed her eyes shut and could hear the blood rushing in her ears, her face heating up.

“_Hey_.” She felt something lightly brush over her hand, balled up on the table. A warmth cradled her fist, turned it over and slowly started drawing circles over her palm until she opened her eyes and stared down at Jake’s hand holding hers. She let the tension be pulled from her, first her hand relaxing, then her shoulders, as it slowly left her completely. She looked up into Jake’s eyes, watching her. He looked devastated, his eyes wide and soft, his mouth curved down. He continued rubbing circles into her hand with his thumb. “That guy was trash. I’m so sorry you had to deal with that. We should go t.p his house. Or key his car.”

“Or his throat.” Rosa was leaning back, closer to them than she was when the conversation started. She looked angrier than usual, which Amy didn’t know was possible.

Amy took a breath, focused on the patterns being rubbed into her hand, the warmth from his hand, the feel of Jake’s hand in hers. She took a deeper breath and let the rest of her tension ease out of her as she took a sip of the tea he’d made for her, warmth and comfort replacing the anger and embarrassment she had been starting to feel. Jake’s easy presence at her side and Rosa’s protective glances grounded her though she felt she was floating from it. She readjusted her hand in Jake's, squeezing his as the only way she could show her gratitude as her voice remained constricted in her throat.

“Ames, you’re the most capable person I know. You could easily crush all of them.” He was smiling again. “Men are the worst. Whoever you’re with, dump them. We’re all disgusting.”

She felt her voice coming back and forced out a laugh. “I know and I’m very much single.”

He nodded. “Cool cool cool. Cool cool cool cool cool. Alright.” For each cool he tapped his free hand against the bar. Rosa rolled her eyes but Amy’s forehead just scrunched up. She was suddenly very aware of his hand still holding hers and the redness of his ears.

She slipped her hand out of his but not before giving it another squeeze. “Thanks, Jake.”

He beamed at her, stood up, and began readjusting the apron round his neck. “Any time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I lied. They touched in this one too. My bad. I'll try to avoid that in future chapters.


	17. We Have to Advance Plot Somehow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to update and now I'm going away for the weekend so I leave you all with this. I even combined 2 chapters so that instead they make 1 longer chapter.   
Enjoy your weekends.

She was going home for the summer and she had to tell him.

It wouldn’t be for long. She had her own apartment anyway. But she had promised her family she would be home for the month and she’d already made plans and had obligations. It wasn’t that far but it was too far to return just for Starbucks. It’s not like she really had to tell him, though. There’s no reason she should have to tell him that she was going out of town for a month. Though he might be a little concerned if she disappeared off the face of the planet. Again. He would definitely be concerned, actually. She had to tell him.

She had it planned out.

Amy spent all night writing and rewriting a scripted speech to give to him the next they were alone. Nothing too big, she just wanted to convey the idea that he was a very important and interesting person who had a big impact on her general happiness and that sometimes all it took was knowing that he was alive to get her through the day and she cherished her time with him the last seven months. It wasn’t too much. She didn’t want him thinking she liked him or anything. She just wanted him to smile at her the way he did sometimes when he was lost in thought and staring off into space. He sometimes got that dreamy look in his eyes and his smile was the brightest then. It was only coincidence he was looking in her direction when he got that way.

So she had it all planned. She would tell him in speech format with scheduled pauses for his expected reactions. And if all went well, he would acknowledge his self-import and he would think highly of her while she was away.

She ended up blurting it out unprompted instead.

“I’m going home for the month.”

“Oh.”

It wasn’t exactly what she was planning. Or even close. She was fully off-book and really wished she’d referred to her notecards. But now he was just staring at her, expectantly and a little disappointed, arms up to his elbows in dish soap. And she had no idea where to go with this. Her gaze jumped all over the room, arms digging wildly through her bag for something she knew wasn’t readily available, or even there.

She stared into her bag, empty but for her usual binder and pencil case. The note cards she wrote sat on her desk at home, still under third draft, not expecting a use for another week at least. She looked back up.

Jake was still watching her, still awaiting some continuation on what she just said before she stopped speaking.

“What, for family? Are you going somewhere, or…?” He tilted his head out to one side, expectant.

Amy blinked at him.

“Do you… have plans…? A job? An ailing relative?”

Another blink.

“Ames, you gotta give me something.”

She blinked again but nodded. “You’re right. I’m sorry.” She cleared her throat and folded her hands in front of her. “I promised my parents I would go home for at least a month. I have to spend time with them and my brothers. I’ll only be gone a month.”

He frowned. His gaze dropped and he placed a hand to his chin. “Where do they live?”

“New Jersey.”

He made a face that could not be described outside of utter disgust and betrayal. His nose scrunched up and his mouth was wide and gaping, his eyes squinted in horror. Despite herself, Amy snorted. Her hand shot up to cover her mouth but he’d already caught it and Jake was already laughing breathlessly, his head thrown back and not a sound coming out. He started choking on air and had to grasp at the table before he could return to stability.

“God, it’s not even visitable.”

“Jake, that’s not a word.”

“Sure it is. All things are words. Visitable is a word. It means “worth being visited.” Use it in a sentence? I would _love _to. “New Jersey is the most unvisitable on Earth.” Done.” He was smiling like he’d just been crowned Most Clever Person in the Universe, or as she was sure he would call it ‘_Most Cleverest.’_ He continued, caught up on a new thought. “So I won’t see you for a month?”

“Unfortunately, the distance between New York and “Most Unvisitable Place on Earth” is just too much. I mean, a whole hour? I couldn’t possibly validate that trip, especially to, what, go to Starbucks?”

He was pouting and she was sure it continued once his back was turned to her.

#

She ran to the bathroom, unable to continue the conversation any further. She splashed water on her face, clutched the sink and hoped. She willed herself to calm down, willed the blood to leave her face before she was forced to walk back out.

She took a last deep breath and exited.

Jake was working on a drink, fumbling awkwardly and dropping more things than usual. The drink splashed over the top and onto his arm. He tried to force a lid on the cup as he saw Amy walk out, started to push it toward her usual seat. It was messy and dripping over the edge. The lid popped off once more as he tried to place it carefully but slipped. He looked up at her with discomfort in his eyes.

Amy just smiled. She glanced at the mess in front of her and just wanted to laugh but it seemed inconsiderate to the stress he was clearly experiencing. She huffed a short laugh anyway.

He glared at her without any real malice. “There’s something wrong with the cup.”

“Sure there is, Jake.”

He tried to pour it into a different, less messy cup but more spilled on his arm. He flinched, the coffee burning his arm. Amy watched and wanted to reach out or tell him to stop. Instead, she just made a face, pulling her lips together into a grimace.

Jake placed the new mess in front of her and rolled his eyes. “Only the best for you, Ames.”

“Mhmmm, I can see that.”

“Do you want me to make you a new drink?”

She hesitated, watching his face. “Of course not, no. No, this is perfect.”

He laughed loudly and met her eye. “Good, cause you can pay for it if you want a new drink.”

Jake waited as Amy picked up her cup, wrapped in a napkin, and took a sip. She hummed, purposely appreciative, and smiled widely at him as he nodded and walked to the bathroom to clean up the mess running down his arms and apron.

#

Amy hadn’t really spoken to Jake the last hour of her being there, but it didn’t matter. It wasn’t weird that Amy sat quietly in the corner doing homework or reading a book. She found it quite comforting to be there while Jake worked, occasionally tossing a glance or weird face in her direction when he got bored or a customer was particularly bothersome.

She was waiting on a call from Kylie to say she was nearby. They were headed to a new gallery that had opened up, but Kylie had to get off work first. The plan was to meet up at the bus stop across the street from the Starbucks. Amy had been reading, Jake distracted with making drinks and humming along to the radio.

Her phone rang and she only barely noticed Jake’s head pop up with hers.

“Hello, Amy Santiago’s phone. Amy speaking.” She pretended not to notice the upturned lips and raised eyebrows.

“You know it’s me calling,” Kylie said, the exasperation in her voice not covering the real smile and laugh. “You don’t have to answer like that. I’m down the street.”

“I’ll head over now. See you soon.” She hung up.

Jake was staring at her, the string of _no_’s he had been mouthing still on his lips. He shook his head at her, playfully pleading but the real concern showed in his eyes. He was frowning, the cup he was cleaning forgotten. “_Nooo. _Is it work? Teacher? The president? Don’t listen to them, Ames. You wanna stay here. Fight the system! You can’t go.”

Amy rolled her eyes. “Jake, you know as well as I do that that is not me.” She watched his head tilt to the side before he was nodding and mumbling to himself. “It wasn’t work. My friend Kylie and I are headed to the new pop-up that just opened at the Brooklyn Museum. It looks really interesting and today’s the only day our schedules match up.”

He pouted but seemed to be accepting it a little better. “Oh. I guess that’s okay then. So long as you’re not leaving me for work.” He rubbed a hand across the back of his neck, stared at the counter. “D’you want a drink to go?”

##

The store was silent. Everyone had gone home. Outside was dark and cold, the wind audible and sending chills down Amy’s back so that she had to pull on her jacket despite being on the other side of the window.

Jake stood still, unmoving. “No one’s here...”

“No one’s here…” Charles followed suit, eyes darting around. “Unless you count Amy.”

“Amy doesn't count.”

Amy only glanced up. “Yeah, I'm always here, I don't count.”

“Yeah, she doesn't ask for anything. She's fine.” Jake turned to her then, casting an accusatory look at her. “Until you ask for something complicated like a Frappuccino. Then you're not.”

After an hour of peaceful silence, the three of them occasionally joking around but mostly just sitting around enjoying the calm, the door opened. And then again. And again. Until it was opening every three minutes. The store closed in under twenty minutes and each time the door opened with another customer, Jake turned to stare at Amy like he was on The Office and she was the camera. His faces got more and more ridiculous and dramatic to the point that any time the door opened, she was already giggling, awaiting his reaction.

He had been staring between her and the clock the full twenty minutes.

“It’s closing time,” he whispered under his breath. “Go home. Everybody leave.” He glanced briefly in Amy’s direction, where she was thoughtfully but quickly organizing the items she placed in her bag. “Except for you.”

Eventually, the rush ended with two minutes to spare before closing. Jake appeared in front her and Amy looked up from her phone.

“My friend Kylie says hi.”

“Well tell your friend Kylie that I say: HhhEH-Loooh. But say it just like that. You have to write in that tone of voice. I don’t know how you’ll do that but it’s the only way you’re allowed.”

She rolled her eyes but tried her best.

“So when do you leave?”

Amy looked up. She hadn’t mentioned going home since the slip up. She hadn’t known what to say. Jake seemed pretty content with ignoring it altogether but, looking at him, he’d probably spent the week mulling it over in his head, thinking and rethinking and overthinking every thought that went with her leaving for any period of time.

“After finals. I need to be home before the rest of my brothers so I can stake claim on certain items.”

Jake nodded absently. Amy finished packing her things away, closed her bag, and stood, drawing Jake’s full attention back to her. He nodded once more then blinked and there was a small smile present in his eyes. “You’ll come back before you leave, right?”

She tilted her head to the side. “Of course.”

“Cool. Cool cool cool.” He nodded again. “G’night, Ames. Get home safe.”


	18. Casual and Cool, That's What We Are

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter. I was out of state for a renaissance faire and am too tired from the return trip tonight to fluff it up

“You're not leaving us forever, are you?” Charles looked especially worried, throwing obvious glances between her and Jake.

“I-”

“She eventually is. She's going home.” Amy was silent as Jake walked away. He was pouting but his back was turned to them, the expressions he was making not fully visible so it wasn’t just for the dramatics. He didn’t appear to be turning back around soon, though no other customer needed his attention.

Was he shunning her for going home? Amy sighed and rolled her eyes. It wouldn’t be such an issue if he had just taken her number in the first place. But it wasn’t her place to say, as it hadn’t gone over well the last time and she didn’t want a repeat.

#

“Why is everyone so dumb?” He said it suddenly, appearing in front of Amy.

Oh, so they were speaking again. Okay. Cool cool cool. It had been less than an hour. “I couldn't help you with that.”

“Why? Why not? You're supposed to know this. You know _everything_, Ames. Why don't you know this?”

She wanted to laugh. “That’s not exactly an unbiased theory able to be tested, and I don’t think there’s any–”

“Amy. Ames. I’m gonna need you to just agree with me on this. And go out and, I dunno, do science or something and find this out for me. Consider it me granting you a task. I am the wizard and this is your quest. Go out and find the answer and get back to me when you find out.” He looked serious and his eyes sparkled.

“Right. I'll be sure to do that. If I ever find out. I'll look for you, and tell you.”

“Please do. Hunt me down. My last name is Peralta. I have Facebook… If you were wondering.”

She couldn’t hold in the laughter that time. She almost choked on it. She stood up and walked into the restrooms, covering her mouth.

#

“When do you leave? The eighth? Tenth?”

“The twenty…seventh?” She stretched it out, pretended to hesitate on the number. She knew the exact date, had been counting down to it for weeks now. She was sure he could see through her attempt. “I have to be home for a scheduled family dinner the day everyone arrives.”

“Oh. That's like... next week…”

Amy’s eyes dropped to the counter.

“Okay…” Jake was fiddling with something in his hands but he shoved them in his pockets. “Well, before you go...” He looked up as though he was awaiting a customer but the store had closed already, them and Rosa the last three there. “I'm going to add you on Facebook. I’m gonna track you down like a real detective and add you.”

Amy stared at him, blankly. Her heart raced in her chest. She’d been waiting for this for weeks, had absolutely not stared at his picture for close to thirty minutes once. His page stayed up on incognito, not for any reason. She wasn’t watching him. She had just forgotten to close it, is all. “It's much easier to find someone than you'd think. All you really need is a person’s first name and place of business and you already have those of mine.” She tried for nonchalance but she could feel herself being a little too eager. The mumbled, “_it’s Amy Santiago_” was about thirty steps from nonchalance but Jake didn’t seem to notice. He only listened and nodded eagerly.

She left the building with him and Rosa and waved at them as they got into his car. When she got home, barely fifteen minutes later, there was a friend request already sitting in her notifications.


	19. You Can't Forget Me, That's Illegal

She stopped by Starbucks on the way home. It was Jake’s day off, but he was seated at the bar. He leaned over to wave at her as she walked through the doors.

She walked to the bar, sat a few seats away and pretended not to stare at him. He was out of his work attire, no apron or work-appropriate non-slip shoes. He had on two layers, but she saw his leather jacket tossed over the back of his chair, an insane amount of layers for the time of year, even for her. Sure, the day had been rainy and came with a chill that wouldn’t leave her no matter where she went. But he had on a sweatshirt over a plaid shirt she hadn’t seen him in before, probably because they clashed with the color scheme of Starbucks. The shirt was buttoned all the way up, and he had on some clunky, bright sneakers that he probably spent way more on than he should have. The most surprising, however, were the glasses. He was wearing glasses, wide frames that covered almost half of his face. He looked 15 times dorkier than she could ever have imagined, even if she was somehow finding him even more attractive. Seeing him like this, she could suddenly make sense of why she found him so cute. It was hard not to stare.

He began asking her about work and her hours the rest of the week before moving on to his. “I work _ALL_ day tomorrow. 9 to 6. Nine. To. Six. And for some reason I’m sitting here on my day off.”

Rosa handed Amy her drink, nodded, said “Don’t worry about it.”

Jake stared at her, deadpan. Immediately he started to say, “What. Rosa. Really. Really?” He stared at Amy, who just smiled and shrugged. She wasn’t the one who gave her a free drink.

After a moments silence filled with nothing but strange sideways glances at each other and soft half smiles, Amy couldn’t take it. He was staring at her in a way that felt so soft. His smile was small and his brows were scrunched together. He looked as though he were seeing her for the first time, a far off look in his eyes.

“So,” Amy started, finally. “I have to ask. It’s killing me.”

His head tilted to the side, brows scrunched, confused.

“You’re wearing glasses.”

“Oh! Yeah…” A hand shot up to the arm of the frames, suddenly self-conscious as his gaze dropped from her face to the floor. He slipped from touching the glasses to scratching at the short hair on the side of his head in a swift, fluid motion. “I don’t wear them to work cause they’re dorky and they get in the way. But my contacts dried out like three months ago and I needed to see in class.”

“Wait, do you not wear contacts here?”

“No, I work pretty blind.”

Amy gaped at him, his eyes set on her face again. So maybe he really _was _seeing her for the first time. Clearly, anyway. She wanted to say something but she also understood to a point. It’s not like she wore her glasses out of her room, though she never let her contacts dry out, so it’s rarely an issue. She studied his face, the look of utter vulnerability and self-consciousness drawing his face in very plain in front of her. His hair was its usual mess flopping over on the top of his head, but paired with the frames it looked especially good.

“Well, for what it’s worth, you don’t just look super dorky. You’re very handsome.”

His grin was wide enough to hide whatever it was he thought of in that moment. “Thank you, I _am _quite dashing, am I not?”

Amy rolled her eyes.

He left moments later, but stopped by Amy and said, “See you later, tomorrow probably? Yes? I’ll be here all day. 9 to 6. Feel free to stop by.”

#

So are you done with Americano for good?

“No, no, not for good. Just for a very long time. But that's all I have at home because my roommate bought me lots of it and now I have nothing to drink.”

“More reason to come here!”

“Yeah, because I needed another reason.”

He quickly glanced away and at the floor. “Oh hey look I got this thing!”

Amy wanted to laugh. She hadn’t been referring to him when she said it. Not entirely, anyway. But of course he would think that. Charles said he would. She didn’t believe him at the time. She admired the Nakatomi Plaza pin he had added to his apron and assured him that it was as cool as he thought it was.

Amy underlined a note on the paper in front of her. Classes were over so she didn’t have to study anymore but she liked to give her semesters notes another once-over before storing them away in her bookshelf. She didn’t know the next time she would look at them and she didn’t want the information to just leave her after the class ended. Her finals were easier than expected. She’d hoped for more of a challenge, but maybe she would have met one if she hadn’t spent the last month studying for them all.

“So I leave tomorrow…”

Jake nodded, tugging at the pins on his apron. “Yep. Yes. You do. You excited?”

“I’m excited to see my brothers again. And my parents. We’ll be visiting other family, of course. A month is a bit much but they’ll be happy with it.”

More nods. He was doing that a lot recently, especially when she brought up leaving. He didn’t have much to say on the topic. He was thinking a lot, she could see it in the dazed look in his eyes. But whatever it was he was thinking, he didn’t mention it aloud.

“Well I hope it’s a lot of fun. You’ll have time to read more, right?”

“_So much more! _I’m gonna read so many books! _So_ many.”

He laughed and she felt a little bit of the stress eek out of her shoulders. “Well, okay, look.” He leaned toward her over the bar, dropping his voice so only she could hear him as he stood a mere few inches away. “I’m very happy for you. I hope you have a lot of fun. I’m just gonna miss you, I guess. So. Ya know. Don’t have too much fun while you’re gone. Like, have fun, I want you to be happy obviously. But not too fun cause you still have to come back. Okay? Cool?”

Amy’s eyes widened and her whole body felt warmer as she watched Jake. She smiled at him and he matched it.

“Cool, cool, cool.”

“Great.”

#

Before she left for the day, Jake ran around the bar so he was standing in front of her, smiling down at her. He opened his arms hesitantly and sent a pleading glance her way. She nodded back at him and he wrapped his arms around her shoulders, squeezing her tight to his chest. She felt him breathe deeply in and felt his body relax against hers. She felt the warmth radiating off of him, and felt the cool fabric of his plaid shirt bunched in her hands, wrapped around his back. Amy never wanted it to end, and barely stopped herself from burying her face any further into his neck than she already was.

As he pulled away, she reluctantly let him go.

“Have fun. Don’t forget me. I’ll see you next month.”


	20. Message Received

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, all. I have been behind on writing because of life things so I'm dropping this chapter and then I have zero idea when the next chapter will be up. My apologies ahead of time, but I think this chapter and the next (once it's posted) should make up for it.

**Text From: Unknown**

_ I made u a drink 2day out of habit but ur not here nd i dont think itll make it to nxt month_

Amy stared at her phone. She knew who it was. Or at least her guess had a 99% probability for success. The message was received fifteen minutes ago, while she was sat down to family dinner. Phones aren’t allowed at the table so she hadn’t seen the message until now. She stared at it, at the unfamiliar number, the terrible spelling and lack of punctuation. She knew who it was. But _why. _How.

She walked out to the front step and sat on the stairs. There was still family game night to get through but she didn’t think she could wait all night to respond to this.

**Text To: Unknown**

_Jake? _

**Text From: Unknown**

_obvi _

_ what other ppl do u kno tht give u free drinks ?_

_ Wait …r u cheating on me w/ other baristas ???_

**Text To: Jake **

_Oh, yeah, tons. All with a better grasp of basic grammar and spelling. _

**Text From: Jake**

_rood_

_ Its Charles, isnt it ? i cant believe he would do this to me _

_ And i was gonna humor his request for matching Best Buds hats_

**Text To: Jake **

_ What can I say? His eclectic tastes are a real turn on. Every woman wants a man who eats nothing without the word “testicles” in it._

_ You should absolutely humor him. _

**Text From: Jake **

_Gross._

Amy scrolled back up to the first message. She stared at it until it was all she could see even after the screen flickered off. He’d made her a drink, prepared for her coming in, before remembering she was out of town. And rather than throw it out and pretend like it didn’t happen, he sent her a text. With his phone number. That she now has. To her phone number. That he already had. Probably had had the whole time. She could hear her brothers moving around behind the door, heard the increased volume in everyone’s voices which meant the first game would be starting soon. She wasn’t ready to go back in just yet.

**Text To: Jake **

_ How do you have my number?_

**Text From: Jake **

_umm? bc you gave it to me ?_

She nodded, locked the phone screen and stood up. That was good enough for now. That was all she needed to know and she didn’t have a follow up. He knew she was at home. She didn’t need to respond immediately. Especially since he was at work and shouldn’t be texting in the first place.

Jake had had her phone number for five months. Which meant he kept her note. Or at least read it long enough to save her number. He could have said he got it from Rosa, who did already know her number after the few occasions she’d delivered her drinks. But he might not have known that. No, he’d saved her number from January. She didn’t know what to do with that information, or how to process it, so she turned around to the door and reached for the handle. Just as she went to push, however, the phone still in her hand vibrated.

**Text From: Jake **

_ Sorry i was so weird about it _

_ your note was actually really nice, albeit dorky as all get out_

_ albiet ? all-be-it ? albait … doesn’t look like a real word but i kno u use it so its real_

_ i shoulda read it that night instead of freaking out _

_ I shouldntve freaked out at all _

_ this asshole really just ordered 5 fraps _

Amy locked the phone and dropped it in the dresser in her room upstairs, hidden at the bottom of her underwear drawer. She smiled faintly as her hands rested over the rim of the drawer. She felt as much as heard the phone vibrate again before she shoved the drawer shut and left the room. She was home and she had to deal with her family. For once, Jake would come later. And he could. Because he was texting her now. Because he had her phone number. And she had his.

Her heart jumped further into her throat and she was having a great deal of trouble pulling the wide smile off her face but she wiped it off and swallowed and made her way back to game night.

#

**Text To: Jake **

_ I’m sorry I wasn’t a little more subtle with it. I was having a weird day and I hadn’t even thought of the implications of my actions when I did that. I shouldn’t have acted on impulse. It was sort of half of a dare. I could have acted differently in a million other ways. I shouldn’t have made it weird. _

_ Also, sorry I wasn’t responding. Game night. Thanks for the detailed play-by-play of your shift, though. Very enlightening._

**Text From: Jake**

_ I live to please. _

Amy wanted to talk about it. She wanted to broach the topic she’d been dwelling on for five months, but _it had_ _been five months. _She couldn’t exactly bring it up now. Especially with how well he was doing avoiding the topic. He had finally used her phone number and she didn’t want him to regret doing so. She wanted nothing more than for him to not regret their friendship. But she _really _wanted to talk about it.

She laid the phone aside, ready to begin her nightly routine before bed. It was nearly midnight, later than usual for her, but the games lasted longer than expected. As usual. With ten equally competitive people in the family, a ten minute game could last an hour. And usually did.

She walked down the hall to brush her teeth, came back and saw her phone, still sitting on the nightstand. He was probably out. He was probably busy. With friends. At a party. Any number of places. He wasn’t waiting around for a message from her and certainly not a serious message.

Amy walked back downstairs and returned to her room a few minutes later with a glass of water. She turned off the lights and laid down.

She wasn’t going to message him. She wasn’t.

She closed her eyes.

**Text From: Jake **

_ did u know that king penguins molt all at once ? theyre just all naked all at once_

_ they call it a “catastrophic molt” _

_ like its not bad enough theyre nakey _

_ they also have some scientists making fun of them_

**Text To: Jake**

_ Why do you know this? That’s actually interesting. _

**Text From: Jake **

_couldn’t sleep. watching a documentary on penguins _

_ thought youd be interested _

**Text To: Jake**

_What channel/site?_  


Amy sat up against the headboard and flipped the TV on. She wasn’t falling asleep any time soon.

##

Amy’s phone was in her hand before it finished buzzing. She and Jake had been messaging almost nonstop for the week. She knew everything that went on at Starbucks. Everything that happened, he sent her almost as it happened. She knew every gross thing Charles said on the daily, and she still knew nothing more about Rosa since her movements were pretty cryptic even behind the scenes.

She had passed out watching the penguin documentary but Jake assumed what happened when she stopped responding and kept her up to date on everything that happened afterward.

There was one night she was too tired to watch a documentary so he sent her his favorite movie quotes instead. They were already falling into a pattern. Whenever he couldn’t sleep, which seemed to be pretty often, he sat up watching TV and she would receive a message anywhere between midnight and 3am. Some mornings she woke up to a string of messages from the night before that she hadn’t been awake for. He didn’t seem to mind too much if she wasn’t awake and would send her 4 or 5 messages for her to see when she woke up, along with the initial “_Ames guess what im watching”_ text.

It had been a week.

They still hadn’t really talked about his having her number or the events surrounding that. She didn’t want to broach it too soon and have him back off, but he wasn’t getting any closer to bringing it up.

She was lying in bed, on top of the covers, and had been there for little under an hour. The lights were off and the moon let in a small stream of light that landed next to her on the quilt. She wasn’t watching anything but Jake was sending her _Die Hard _quotes from memory.

He hadn’t sent anything in a few minutes, so she figured he’d gotten bored.

**Text To: Jake **

_ I want to apologize for any unintended injuries to morale or emotional state when I disappeared without leaving a word. I didn’t expect there to be any at the time._

**Text From: Jake**

_what? you mean when you stopped showing up for a month? i handled that like a champ_

_ why am i lying, u saw the results of the bet_

_ which i coulda won by the way if i wasnt just so caring _

_ but no, youre entitled to your distance and you can disappear whenever you like.   
Ill assume youre dead cause i have the memory of a goldfish and forget people if i dont see them everyday. but i cant tell you how to live your life, ill be fine_

**Text To: Jake **

_Charles said you cried to Taylor Swift._

**Text From: Jake**

_what the FUCK CHARLES_

_ wait_

_ did he tell u which song_

  
Amy hesitated. She didn’t want to embarrass him more than she already might be doing. It was obviously something he was uncomfortable with. She also didn’t want to read too much into the fact he cried to Taylor Swift’s romantic songs when she was hiding from him. She’d heard it from Charles and Terry that he’d cried to _You Belong With Me _but that meant nothing.

**Text To: Jake**

_ No. Just that you cried to Taylor Swift. But Terry already said that. And we all know Taylor Swift makes you feel things._

  
That had to be enough. For now.


	21. Dreaming About You. And Monsters. But Mostly About Monsters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very slowly creating new chapters but here's another anyway  
Thank you all for continuing to read

**3:25 am**

**Text To: Jake **

_Did you know that Die Hard was based on a book which was based on a movie? _

**Text From: Jake**

_ I DID know that. _

_ Are u watching now ??? _

_ why r u up ?_

**Text To: Jake**

_Can I not sit up in the early hours of the morning watching the favored movie of a good friend without being questioned?_

**Text From: Jake **

_where r u watching ??? I can’t find it_

**Text To: Jake**

_*You sent a link.*_

_ Why are you awake? Don’t you have work in the morning?_

The bubble of Typing ellipses came and went several times. They disappeared again and Amy dropped the phone onto her pillow. She sat up in bed, readjusting the covers and checking the room for items she might have forgotten to put back before she went to sleep hours before. There wasn’t anything because it was a rare occasion in which Amy Santiago forgot to put everything exactly where it belonged before she fell asleep. So she sat back in bed, turned away from the light of her side-table lamp. She’d turned it on the moment she jumped back into wakefulness and despite it being just a little too bright for her half-asleep mind, she kept it on.

The movie played quietly on the laptop next to her on the bed.

She wrapped the blankets along with some extras from the hall closet close around her until she was fully cocooned. Only then did she pull the phone in with her.

**Text From: Jake **

_ Nuh uh. I asked first_

_ This is the best part of the movie _

**Text To: Jake**

_Jake, you have work in the morning. You should be asleep._

**Text From: Jake**

_im not gonna til you tell me why ur awake_

_ amy_

_ aaamess _

_ you gotta answer me or im not gonna stop_

Amy sighed. She didn’t really _have_ to answer him. He was distracted enough with her movie choice that all she had to do to keep him from asking further questions was to refer back to the movie, but she also wanted him to go to sleep before he had to be at work. Although, it’s entirely plausible that he’s not even near a bed to sleep. He was awake to answer her text, so he was likely already up and so her messaging him is having no real effect on whether or not he loses any more sleep than he was already going to get.

She drooped further into the blankets, a response to his messages less a planned composition in her head, more a draft of a thought of an idea. She tapped her finger against the side of the phone, tucked warmly inside of her nest practically out of sight. She was startled to feel it vibrate in her hand, a chime playing as it continued to vibrate. She pulled it up to her face to squint at the screen.

_Incoming Call From: Jake_

Oh god, no.

She took a deep breath and hoped it would stop ringing before she drew up the courage to answer. Unfortunately, it kept going. She drew in another breath, cleared her throat, and hit Answer.

“Hello?”

“Good evening to you, Madam. Is this Amy Santiago to which I am speaking?” He spoke in a wavering accent that she couldn’t quite place as any specific area. Underneath it, his voice sounded rough and scratchy, almost as though he’d also just awakened.

“It’s to whom.”

She could feel the eye roll in the silence from the other end of the line. “What’s going on? Aside from finally watching the best movie in the history of ever.”

“Nothing at all. You should really be asleep, Jake. You have to be up soon.”

“Nah, I’ll just stay up. A Jake in motion stays in motion.”

“Nice. Newton’s First Law.”

“Who? No, this is Jake’s Law.” He stifled a yawn as he said it but Amy still noted it.

“…Newt… Never mind. I don’t think that really applies to human sleep cycles, though.”

“Sure it does. That’s how I’m getting through college. Now tell me why you’re awake.” He moved around, the muffled sounds on the phone signifying him likely lying back in bed. She was sure he had been at least near sleep before he called as it sounded like he was either speaking into a pillow or his head was under a blanket. Possibly both.

“Jake…”

“Ames. I’m not going to sleep until you tell me. If I’m exhausted at work tomorrow, it’s on you. I could pass out making someone’s drink and spill espresso all over the floor. A mean lady could yell at me. Rosa might kill me. That’d be on you. Can you live with that?”

She laughed around a yawn. “What, Rosa killing you? Yeah, I think I’ll live.”

He remained silent but she could assume the face he was likely making at her.

She groaned, pushing her body further into the comforter so she was lying down fully, the warmth overwhelming but comforting around her. The dim light of the lamp kept it from being fully dark. She could feel herself being able to fall asleep like this, rolled up in blankets, listening to Jake’s slightly gravelly voice. “Ugh, fine. Not that it matters. I had a bad dream and I’m waiting it out before I can fall asleep again. Are you happy?”

“Yes and no. What was the dream?”

She shrugged but he couldn’t see it so she hummed a low, wavery note. “Don’t remember. But now I’m awake with the lights on, like a child.” She mumbled the last line in an attempt to hide her annoyance at herself.

“Well do you have stuffed animals?”

If it came from anyone else, Amy would think they were making fun of her. But coming from Jake, it just sounded like a very serious, honest question. She paused, a little taken aback by his question and his voice. “No, I don’t.”

“Well, _there’s_ your problem right there.” He spoke as though he was telling her the answer to the universe and Amy began to wonder how awake he really was. “Blankets work fine against invaders like monsters and ghosts but they’re just invisibility cloaks. Animals are the real guards. They kick monster ass. Gotta get yourself some ghost protectors. Don’t worry, I’ll get you some when you get back next week.”

He spoke so seriously that she couldn’t help laughing. “Jake, you really need to go to sleep.”

“Yeah, I s’pose.” His voice was drifting a bit and it had already dropped in volume.

“Why are you even awake?”

He was quiet for a beat and Amy thought he was already asleep. Then there was rustling. “I dunno. Cause you texted me.”

Amy felt warm all over but suddenly it wasn’t the blankets doing it. She felt the air sucked from her lungs and she squeezed her eyes shut. She listened to him breathe into the phone. He sounded milliseconds away from unconsciousness.

“I feel better. You can go to sleep now.”

“Night, Ames.”

“Thanks, Jake.”


	22. Welcome is Gift Enough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thank you all for your patience with my sudden hiatus. I had the hardest time writing the chapter after this one but I finally did it and I think you're all gonna love it and also maybe hate me but it'll be great either way.  
Happy late Halloween to all!

Amy arrived at the Starbucks an hour after returning to town, already a bit jittery. She knew Jake was working. He’d told her as much and knew she would be stopping by at some point in the day, as she’d told him when she was returning. All they were unclear on was the hour of her visit because she was supposed to be unpacking and reorganizing her things before she made the trek. She was going to do that anyway. But after an hour of organizing, she found herself picking up and moving the same items over and over without realizing it the first four times.

A break would be nice.

Caffeine would also be nice.

And if she could see Jake, well, she wouldn’t be against it.

So she stood on the corner outside the Starbucks, excited but weirdly nervous. They’d talked almost every day while she was away, mostly over text aside from that one phone call. They’d spoken more while she was away than they ever did while she was in the store and she felt so much closer to him, even though she didn’t see his face. The nightly documentaries she would miss. Even with all of their conversations, though, she found herself shaking, having to force herself to keep walking through the doors. So much had changed but at the same time, she wasn’t sure how that would affect their in person interactions.

She hoped not a lot.

She hoped enough.

The door swung open and the familiar roasted coffee scent hit her immediately. They weren’t overly busy, it still being summer, but there were a handful of customers milling around. Rosa and Charles looked up at the same moment but before he could emit whatever noise he was ready to make, Rosa punched Charles and kept him quiet. She nodded at Amy then back toward the kitchen where they could hear Jake fumbling around. Amy walked to her usual seat at the bar and waited.

“Ya know,” Jake was saying as he wandered out, head down. “I don’t even know why we bother advertising some of this stuff when we never stock it.” He raised his eyes from the ground when there was no immediate response and stared at Rosa, who nodded behind him. He turned, eyebrows scrunched.

Amy watched his whole face brighten and his body straighten up as his eyes landed on her.

“Amy!” He ran around the counter without the hesitation she didn’t even realize she was so used to. She was taken aback even further when he threw his arms around her and pulled her into his chest. “I thought you were reorganizing your apartment all day.” He hadn’t let go so Amy didn’t see why she couldn’t just bury her face into his shoulder. So she did. Her hands grasped at the back of his shirt, holding him there. He only tightened his hold on her, his warmth folding around her. 

“I was. I am. I just needed a break.”

He pulled back ever so slightly, just enough to smile smugly at her. “Oh, Amy. You don’t have to be embarrassed. I would miss me, too.”

She rolled her eyes. He finally pulled away so she had to let go. 

“Seriously, though, I’m so excited to see you. My life hasn’t been the same. I have no one to talk to anymore.” They both briefly glanced at Charles who gasped audibly at that.

“Jake, we spoke every day. I know every TV show you’ve watched all month. I know what you ate for breakfast this morning. I’m still appalled, by the way. Please eat a fruit.”

“I will not –”

Charles fell between the two of them, his gaze jumping from Jake to Amy and back. He waved his hands to cut them off, his mouth gaping. “I’m sorry, have you two been TEXTING??? Jakey, you told me you were texting your _mom_. I can’t believe you would withhold this information from me!”

Jake rolled his eyes but Amy laughed and smiled at him over Charles’ head. He turned to Rosa who had been watching with silent amusement. “I quit. Can I sit down and talk to Amy the rest of my shift?”

“No.”

He groaned but returned to the other side of the counter. Rosa shoved a cup at him, not saying any more to let him know what he was supposed to be making. She walked away and Charles returned to the register to take care of the growing line of customers. Jake started on the drinks but he threw one last glance at Amy before he fell to it. He smiled softly, his eyes picking up on it.

“It feels like you’ve been gone forever.”

Amy’s heart thumped.

Yup. This was home.

#

Normally at the end of Jake’s shifts, he would say goodbye and go home. That had been the routine every day since Amy met him. So she was rightly confused when he clocked out and, rather than wave goodbye, he draped his apron over the back of the chair next to Amy’s and plopped down next to her. Before she could process what was happening, his head was propped on his folded arms and his half closed eyes were gazing up at her.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

She tilted her head to the side, watching him. He didn’t seem to gather her meaning, his soft, tired smile never faltering. “Aren’t you going?”

His smile dropped for a half second before a cockier, less sincere one replaced it. She could see his confidence drip out from behind his eyes. He lifted his head to be level with hers. “Ouch, Amy. I haven’t seen you in a month and you’re already trying to get rid of me?”

She waved her hands in front of her face, eyes wide, and Jake’s more sincere smile slowly but surely returned. “No, no. Of course I love talking to you. You just normally go right home after you clock out.” She could feel her face heating.

“Is it a crime to want to spend time with my friend?” He dropped his head back onto his arms, laid with his cheek pressed to the table so his face was slightly smushed. “It’s not, by the way. Unless that friend is a minor. That’s illegal.”

They sat in silence. Amy warmed her hands on her cup, breathed in the familiar calming fumes that reminded her of home and of Jake. He sat mere inches away, humming along with whatever song was playing in his head. For once, Amy didn’t feel like she had to fill the silence. They spent so much time talking when they were together, it was almost strange how normal it felt to acknowledge each other’s presence with comfortable silence.

In the time they sat there, several customers approached Rosa’s register and were visibly and sometimes audibly bothered by her disregard for their orders or their attempt at friendly conversation. On each occasion, Jake nudged Amy’s elbow with his and the two of them watched, noiselessly laughing to each other through the shared sparkle in their eyes.

“Oh!”

They’d been sat together for almost twenty minutes when Jake finally made this noise and she startled and stared at him. “Yes?”

“I almost forgot. I got you something.”

She stared at him, her eyes wide enough to send aches across her temples. She blinked. Her mouth opened and closed and opened again but still nothing came out but a small strangled creak.

He stood up and collected his belongings and motioned for her to do the same. Jake waved to Charles and Rosa, the former looking absolutely ecstatic to see the pair leave together. Amy followed him to his car, an old beat up model that looked used and handed down. She watched him unlock the front door and reach around to manually unlock the back, and she watched him rifle through a pile of who-knows-what before he made a victorious exclamation and faced her with his hands behind his back.

Amy raised a brow.

He nodded at her. She didn’t move. He nodded again, gesturing her hands with his eyes. She sighed, held her hands out in front of her and closed her eyes. She felt something soft drop into her hands but only opened her eyes once he cleared his throat.

“To protect you from the monsters.”

She wrapped her hands around the fuzzy dragon plush. It was purple and green and red and Jake looked so proud of himself. Her heart slammed in her throat and she couldn’t find the words to speak so she stayed silent. His eyes swam over her face, confidence once again faltering but as Jake looked like he was about to apologize or offer to take it back with some lame joke, she smiled at him. She tried to put as much feeling as she could into the smile.

She guessed he was more awake than she realized during that phone call. They hadn’t talked about it again after they finally hung up, so she decided they had just agreed to never broach the topic of her bad dreams again. Either she misread it or one of them missed the memo. Either way, she smiled down at the dragon and in her head was already thinking up names.

“He’s way better than a blanket at protecting from ghosts and monsters. He does the real work. They didn’t have any knights but a dragon’s a better guard anyway, that’s why all the princes have to fight dragons to reach the princess. Cause the dragon is the ultimate guard and only the bravest, nicest people can get around ‘em.” He was smiling proudly at the dragon, his hands fiddling with his belt and his body rocking back and forth on his heels as he spoke. “I’ve been calling him Sir Squigglington IV.”

Amy held Sir Squig in both hands and pretended the lump in her throat where her heart now lived wasn’t there. She stared him full in the face, took in his toothy grin and tense shoulders and finally spoke.

“Do you want to come over to my place? Like, to hang out?”


	23. Welcome to the Feelings House, We Feel Everything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank all the lovely commenters on the last chapter. I am very happy with all the excitement and I almost feel bad for what I'm about to do in this chapter.   
Enjoy

Jake was in her apartment.

He was standing _in her apartment._ He stared around in awe at all of the very Amy-like decorations mixed with her roommates’ un-Amy style. She could see him trying to decide which was whose and rather than clarify for him, she rolled her eyes and shrugged and walked to the table to place her new dragon plush down. He spun around as she did so, however, and made a noise of rebuttal. His hands raised in front of him.

“No, no. Sir Squigglington IV must be introduced to his post in your room. He’s going to protect you from the monsters, after all.”

Amy rolled her eyes again but she laughed and walked toward her room. “Weird way of saying you want to see my room.” Jake followed her in, eyes roving the walls and everything else they passed. He pretended to ignore her comment, focusing more on the exact placement of each item, sitting exactly where it should be and not a centimeter out of line. It looked almost empty, really, with how well organized it all was. Even the suitcase looked like it belonged there. Amy placed the dragon in the direct center of the perfectly made bed, the only out of place item in the room. She smiled looking down on it, not realizing she was doing it until she noticed Jake smiling back at her. She tried to brush off the way it made her heart race in her ears and the blood rush to her cheeks.

“Would you like a drink or anything?”

“Depends, do you have orange soda?” He followed her back into the living area, trailing close behind her.

“I have orange seltzer.”

“That is… that is not even close to being the same thing, Ames.”

She turned to look at the horrified look on his face. His eyes were narrowed and his jaw had dropped open. His gaze wasn’t leaving her face. She laughed. “Well, it’s that or water. I also have tea and coffee.” Amy reached for the coffee pot near the stove.

“Coffee. Coffee is good. Yes, make _me _coffee for once.”

“Alright, but _I’m _charging.”

Amy saw him stick out his tongue at her just before he plopped down on her couch, sprawled out across as much space as he could take up. She moved to the kitchen island to plug in appliances but couldn’t help glancing over at him making himself comfortable on her couch.

“You can turn on the TV if you want. The remote is on the table.”

The TV buzzed to life as she poured coffee grounds into the filter and by the time she moved to join him, he was already flipping quickly through every channel for the third time over. He stopped on three separate cartoons and two animal documentaries before landing on the latter. He dropped the remote between them, Amy seating herself on the very opposite end of the couch, with as much distance between them as she could get on the not large couch with him sprawled across most of it.

“How many nature shows do you watch?” She sounded more incredulous than she wanted to but she was genuinely startled. She didn’t peg him for an animal documentary person, or any documentary person, but he’d spent nearly every night of the break watching them with her.

“Animals are the people of nature, Amy.”

She blinked. Then she blinked again. He was watching her, a grin playing on his lips. She stared at the TV then back at him. “Okay. That didn’t answer my question.”

“But now you have so many new questions, and I know that’s your favorite thing about school.”

“It really is.”

He smiled at her with what she really wanted to call fondness in his eyes. “God, you’re such a nerd. And I’m so glad I get to say that to your face cause you’re _back now._”

They were both smiling widely at each other. Amy couldn’t be sure how long they sat like that but she stood up suddenly, remembering the coffee, and ruined it. He didn’t say anything as she fixed two mugs and brought the sugar and milk to the table. He leaned forward, scooting closer on the couch and poured a horrific amount of sugar into his cup.

“So,” Amy started, leaning back into the cushion with her mug cradled in her hands. “I’m sure I’ve said it already but I’m really glad you messaged me.” She tried looking at his face but her eyes kept drifting down into her swirling coffee.

“Oh, yeah,” he said, forced calm evident in the way his voice was getting higher. Something she’s used to hearing when he’s forced to explain things to customers more than once. She couldn’t explain the tightness in her gut hearing him use it with her. “I knew your vacation couldn’t possibly be that entertaining without my constant commentary in it.”

They both laughed and his sounded easier, lighter. “I don’t know what I would have done without that Charles-fish-gutting banter.”

“I knew you couldn’t live without that.”

“Seriously, though.” She glanced back down, determinedly holding her gaze on the couch cushion between them. “And I promise this is the last time I’ll bring it up. I’m sorry I was so weird about giving you my phone number and I’m sorry I made it weird. I was trying so hard not to make it weird so I went ahead and made it weird in the most spectacular of ways.”

“The Amy Santiago Special.”

She looked up at him, found his eyes trained on her face even though his hands were shaking in his lap with how much they needed something to fidget with. He was smiling, though it was small and she could see the anxiety in the crease in his brow.

“Sorry. I’m not good with emotions. I made it weird, too. I’m sorry. I didn’t want that. I just panicked when I thought you were asking me out cause you’re really cool and I was gonna ruin everything and I like hanging out with you and I didn’t want you to stop coming in when I ruined it all with my Jake-ness.” He was still smiling and his voice had a laugh in it but she felt the pain he was trying his best to deflect. Her chest hurt like someone had reached in and grabbed her heart in their hand and squeezed.

“And then I stopped coming in anyway because I ruined it with my Amy-ness.”

“If you think about it, we would’a made one ruin-y couple.”

Amy forced a laugh, brushing her hair behind her ears and turning away from him to watch the screen where a leopard was gaining on a doe. She was glad she didn’t blush like some people but she was sure he would see it in her face anyway. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Jake’s hand tense on his leg, bunching up the fabric on his knee and smoothing it out only to bunch it up again. He took a long sip from his mug. They watched the TV in silence for several equally long moments.

“But it’s fine, cause _we’re_ fine. Right?”

“Right.” He said it with such conviction, she almost felt okay with the way this conversation was going. Almost. “Right. We’re great. Cause we’re awesome at being friends. I’m a great friend.”

She laughed and the hot coffee she was sipping shot down her throat, and she sputtered, carefully placing the mug down on a coaster after to grab a napkin. “You _are_ a great friend, Jake.”

He beamed at her and leaned back and melted into the cushions, intent now on the sloths that had appeared in the frame. They sat in comfortable silence for a while, each sinking further into the couch as they occasionally made their usual commentary.

#

It was several animal documentaries later when Jake nudged Amy and she felt the vibrations of his saying something move through her cheek. She pushed herself up on one elbow and palmed her eye, a yawn escaping her. The room was much darker than she remembered, the glow from the television bringing tears to her eyes. She glanced out the window and noticed the sun had long since gone down. She was vaguely aware that she was more comfortable than she normally is when she falls asleep on the couch and hoped Jake wasn’t too bored while she was apparently napping.

She felt him shift next to her.

No, not next to. Under her.

His sleeve was pressed under her cheek and she shifted slightly and could see him smiling softly down at her. She was leaned against his shoulder and when she finally realized this, she also noticed his hand resting on her back and his arm partially wrapped around her. If she fell asleep on him, it only made sense he would move his arm there. It would be more comfortable for him. She told herself this seventeen times in the seconds before she was able to clear her throat and push off of him. He continued smiling at her with what felt like the softest gaze she’d ever seen.

“Hey, sleepy.”

“How long was I asleep?” Her voice even felt gravelly.

“Well, ya missed the penguins and some pretty amazing commentary on my part. So I’d say twenty, thirty minutes?”

She scooted away from him, pretending to stretch. He settled back further to his end of the couch. She could have thanked him but it would’ve been beside the point of subtlety. The clock hanging on the wall said it was after nine. The calendar hanging on the inside of her brain said she was _way _behind schedule unpacking. The rest of her said she didn’t care.

Jake watched her face as she went through all of these thoughts and he sat up straighter and pulled out his phone. “Oh man. I should go. I have work tomorrow and you should have been unpacking.” He stood up and stretched his arms over his head, sending several very satisfying cracks down his back. Amy was kind of jealous with the way her neck was beginning to ache. She stood with him and followed him to her door. Once it was open, he turned round to her, one hand rubbing at his neck.

“This was fun. It’s nice to hear a reaction to my hilarious commentary out loud instead of having to wait for a response.”

Amy nodded and laughed. “It’s nice to be able to groan at them so you can know how dumb you are.” Jake only shrugged, his smile not faltering. “I’m glad we’re friends.”

“Me, too, Ames.” He shifted from foot to foot several times, seemingly debating his next words. “You know, I had a crush on you but I’m really glad I didn’t do anything dumb like act on it and ruin everything. I like being your friend. I like having you as a friend.” He scratched at the side of his head before letting his hand drop to hang from his neck.

Amy stared at him, her mouth slightly ajar, eyes perfectly still despite it feeling as though they were spinning in her head. “Oh.” Her whole body felt tense. She could have screamed. Instead, she tried to look as understanding and open as she could. She smiled and scrunched her brows and looked up at him through half lidded, still tired eyes. “Hah. Yeah. I’m… I enjoy having you as a friend, too.” She rubbed her bicep with her other hand and looked around him, uncertain of her next move.

He looked like he might turn to leave but instead he draped his arms over her shoulders and pulled her to him. She wrapped her arms around his middle and dropped her face into his shoulder. Her whole body felt tense still, but she could have stayed there in his arms forever. Her heart slammed against her ribs and his arms and chest were warm. She felt her face heating up but she didn’t care. Jake removed himself and stepped back, lifted his hand in a small wave and walked out into the hall.

Amy returned to her apartment, closed the door, and let the void take her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I spent a very long while thinking up this chapter. I considered having them confess and get together in this chapter. But then it took them 20 chapters to text. So at the risk of myself, I've decided to extend this even further. Because I said it was irrationally slow burn and that is what you're getting.


	24. I Hear Wedding Bells. Where Are They Coming From. There Are No Bells.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updating half a day early for personal reasons, all leading to: I am tired and going to bed before 9pm.   
I'm so happy with all the responses to last chapter. As an aromantic person, I thrive on the pain everyone gets from how painfully slow this burn is. I could go on forever. But I also appreciate every comment I've received and the support I've been getting for this story.
> 
> So here's some more fluff I wrote 2 months ago and have been waiting to share.

Jake was singing along to Taylor Swift.

Loudly.

With choreography.

Amy couldn’t believe what she was watching. He’d been put in charge of the music and by that of course it meant that he unplugged Charles’ phone the moment he walked into the store and turned on his own station which was almost entirely made up of Taylor Swift. He’d been singing along and spinning around behind the counter almost consistently since but this was different. He had finished all of the drink orders and was focused solely on the song. And he was directing it at Amy.

She sat at her usual seat at the bar, book forgotten, and stared wide eyed and open mouthed at Jake.

“We were both young when I first saw you, I close my eyes, and the flashback starts, I'm standing there.” He’d locked eyes with Amy, slammed a hand on the counter in front of her and pointed at her with the other. His eyes closed as he sang the first verse then blew wide open again. “You were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles and my daddy said “Stay away from Juliet!””

Amy burst out laughing but Jake kept going.

As the chorus came around, he grabbed Amy’s hand off the counter, held it between both of his. “Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone, I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run.” Here, he leaned over the counter so he could press their hands to his chest. “You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess, It's a love story baby just say _Yes_.”

Amy’s throat hurt from the restrained laughter trapped there. Jake was staring at her with the goofiest smile and his hands were still wrapped around one of hers. She was smiling so widely her cheek muscles ached but before she could say anything or Jake could continue with the next verse, they heard a high pitched squeal from the kitchen and the door slammed closed again, Charles’ face bright red and pressed up against the window.

Amy rolled her eyes and would have pulled her hand away if Jake had let go but he was too involved in the song. He made a face at Charles’ as he sang out, “Romeo, save me, they're trying to tell me how to feel.”

Another customer seated at the other end of the bar doing homework glanced up briefly, pretending not to have watched the whole interaction, and smiled at Amy. She also sent a knowing glance between her and Jake which Amy tried to brush off but with her hand still in his, it was hard to deny.

“Wait,” Amy started as she turned back to face Jake. “Am I Romeo in this?”

“Obviously. I _am _the one singing here.”

She shrugged and slipped her hand out from his as Charles’ finally entered the room. He almost fell over the bar to get between the two of them, somehow out of breath and gasping for air with a hand to his chest. His smile was wider than Amy’s had been and she’s sure she knows who would be the happiest if she ever got up the gall to ask Jake out, formally.

“Oh I _knew _you two would get it right eventually. Did it happen after you two left together the other day? Where did you go? Oh I knew it! When’s the wedding???”

“Charles, buddy, you need to stop suggesting that.”

Amy squinted, scrunching her nose. “Why do you think we would skip right to wedding?”

“Because you’re _meant to be, _Amy. You’re _Meant_ to _Be_.”

She rolled her eyes at that but couldn’t look away from Jake as he went to take the order of the girl who’d been watching them. He always had a lot of energy but he seemed cheerier since she’d been back. As he turned around to start making a drink, the girl put her credit card back into her wallet and passed Amy, still smiling at her.

“You two are adorable. You’re so lucky.”

“Oh, no, we’re not… no. Jake and I are just friends.”

The girl looked like she wanted to laugh in her face but instead she just raised a brow. “Okay. Sure.”

“We are.”

“I believe you.” She waved a hand in front of her. “But you two do make a really cute couple.” With that, she sat back down and returned to her assignment and Amy dropped it. She’s not one to interrupt someone doing work of any kind. Jake placed the drink in front of the girl’s notebook and spun away, smiling again in Amy’s direction.

#

“Hey,” Amy began, startling Jake. They hadn’t spoken the last hour as she’d been reading and he’d been busy with guests. Charles’ shift had ended and Rosa came in after and Amy was around to see the shift change. Rosa and Jake each looked up from their phones to glance at Amy. “What ever happened to Teddy?”

“He got fired.”

“Yeah ‘cause he _sucked._”

They were each looking smug but Jake looked almost as though he had forgotten who Teddy was and preferred it that way. His face had scrunched up and he was staring off into the distance at nothing. Amy waved her arm in front of him and he blinked, his eyes focusing and refocusing on her face. He had a dazed look, confusion playing out over his features.

“What’s up?”

His brow furrows and his forehead scrunched up as he leaned against the bar but he wouldn’t look directly at her. “Did you like that guy?”

“Who? _Teddy_?”

He nodded.

“We only had a few interactions. I can’t say I really know him.”

“Yeah, but based on the few you had, did you like him?”

Amy studied Jake’s face, wondering at the worry lines. “He’s smart and he seems nice and he showed genuine interest in the things I like. He shares my interest in essays and literature. I don’t know, Jake. He seems like a decent guy. I’m sure you have your reasons for not liking him, whatever they are. But he seemed okay.”

He slumped over, dropped his head onto his folded arms on the counter. “But did you _like _him?”

“Jake. I don’t even know him. Why does it matter?”

He grumbled some words into his sleeve and then made a scene of pulling himself off of the counter and straightening up fully. He straightened his apron and accepted the cup Rosa was handing him. Whatever he was thinking about dripped off of him and he shrugged as he started making a drink.

“It’s just that he said that he liked you and was thinking of asking you out so I thought maybe he did and you just never mentioned it.” He said it off-handedly but he wouldn’t look at her.

“You talk about me?”

“Ames, you’re here all the time. Obviously we talk about you.”

She nodded. Logically, that made sense, and she probably should have assumed that already but it still did something to her heart and stomach hearing him admit to it. She knew they were friends. He kept saying that. They had a text relationship. They’d spoken on the phone. He’d been to her apartment. If that wasn’t friendship, she didn’t really know what was. They’d officially crossed the line from work-based-association into friendship. Even Rosa had visited her at work several times. That had to count for something. But they thought about her when she wasn’t around. That’s a completely new concept. That’s at least next tier friendship. They had moved up a tier.

“But he didn’t,” Jake paused, his bottom lip pushed up and a shrug in his shoulders. “He didn’t talk to you…? Not that it’s my business.”

“No. Like I said, I barely know the guy.”

“So… if he had asked you out, you would have said… nnnnnooo?”

She smiled and rolled her eyes at him. “I don’t know, Jake. It didn’t happen. And I only ever saw him here so it’s not likely he’ll ever even get that chance.”


	25. Adults Are Fake, It's All Just Tension

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would you believe I almost forgot to post this chapter? Literally zero sense of the passage of time.   
Sorry for the short chapter. I just wrote one thats 3k words, you're all gonna flip. But that's for later.

She was wrong.

Amy saw Teddy two days later at the library. She was exchanging her latest stack of books when he came up behind her. She was just stuffing her new pile carefully into her bag when she heard a sharply dramatic intake of breath behind her and heard her name. She spun around and he was standing behind her in line, just placing a book on the counter for the tired student with the dead eyes who was scanning items with an automatic motion of his arms. Outside of Starbucks he dressed pretty similarly to his work attire. He was wearing a long sleeve button-down and slacks and a too-sincere expression on his face.

“Amy! Hey, how’ve you been?”

“Hi? Hey, hello, Teddy, hi. I’m great. How are you doing? I heard you… left Starbucks. What have you been up to?”

“I’m actually starting my internship soon. Didn’t really have time for Starbucks, what with the second job and now the internship and all of my outside research. I’m already applying for grad schools and the application process is very involved.”

“I know! I’ve been getting a head start on the applications and it’s great stuff.”

“Hey, if you’re not doing anything right now, do you want to get a coffee with me?” He gestured just over his shoulder at the coffee shop off the library lobby. His smile was so wide and genuine, she couldn’t find an excuse not to say yes.

#

“Guess who I saw the other day.”

“Was it Rosa? Was she outside? Oh my god, was she in sunlight? Did she set fire? I always thought the rumors were wrong but then again they did come from Gina. But this changes everything.”

“No, that’s not it. But you should keep with that. You might be on to something.”

“Mmhm.” Jake nodded vigorously then placed the newly cleaned mixer on the counter to dry and turned to lean on the counter across from Amy. “So, who did you see? Chewbacca? Big Foot? Are they brothers? Or the same person? They’ve never been seen together. Was it Terry? Not Big Foot, obviously. Unless… No, just tell me. All my guesses involve Big Foot.”

She laughed and kept her eyes on his face as she spoke. “It was Teddy.”

Jake’s mouth opened and closed and opened again. His face turned down so that he was looking at the counter. “Oh…”

“Yeah. I ran into him at the library. He’s starting a new internship. It’s to do with Criminal Law, of all things. Mostly bookkeeping. It sounds neat.”

“Oh. Yeah. Real _neat _stuff.” He wiggled his eyebrows on the word Neat and she tried to hold a straight face. It’s a good word. There’s a reason it was in popular use for a long period. She didn’t have time for that argument, though, so she let it slide. “So how was hanging out with _Teddy_?”

“We just got coffee.”

“You got _coffee???” _He clutched a hand to his heart as though he’d taken a lethal strike to the chest. “Amy. I thought we had something.”

“I’m allowed to shop around at other coffee shops. I never agreed to a monogamy.”

“I thought it was implied.” He was pouting at her, his eyes wide and filled with fake anguish.

“Hey, I can’t be held down. I need options.”

He took her hand in his and looked her in the eyes. “I respect that. I’m sorry I wasn’t enough for you.”

That was usually the point in their conversations when Charles’ appeared to ruin everything and make it weird and they both turned around and searched for him. When he didn’t pop up, they both shrugged and went back to what they were doing. Jake dropped Amy’s hand and picked up another cup to clean. “You two just talk about nerd stuff like tax benefits and livable salaries after university?”

“That’s not nerd stuff. That’s maturing.”

“No, that’s fiction.”

“And no. We talked about his internship and the application process and what classes we’re taking next semester and our plans for the summer and then he asked me out and–” 

The cup smashed as it fell into the sink and Jake let out a slew of curses, one hand clutched in the other. Amy could see blood. She jumped up but he was already waving her away and holding his hand under the faucet. “I’ll be right back. I have to… um. Wrap this.” He hurried into the kitchen. The door swung shut behind him.

Amy stared at the broken shards in the sink. Her eyes unfocused and she wasn’t sure how long it was before Jake was standing in front of her again, a bandage wrapped around his hand, picking the broken pieces out of the sink. He was silent for far too long in Amy’s opinion. She didn’t press him, just watched him clean up, more carefully and deliberately than she’s seen him do anything. When all was safe and cleared, he moved the trash into the kitchen and returned. His face was clear and unreadable, which for Jake usually meant a lot more.

After what was probably 15 minutes but what felt like an hour, he nodded and looked passed Amy. His voice was calm and curious, showing none of the anxiety she was sure he was feeling. “Did you say yes? To the date, I mean.”

“No.” She watched his eyes widen and his face lighten. “He’s nice but he’s kind of boring. All we talked about was applications. Which I love. But there’s other stuff, too.”

“Yeah? Like what?” He sounded more himself. His tone had gotten lighter and his body less stiff. Whatever that was before had passed and Amy watched it go with a calm exhale.

“I don’t know. I’m already in my own head all the time. I don’t need another me. I need different. Someone who takes me out of my head, makes me laugh.”

His eyes shone brighter and when he looked silently off into the distance, it felt so much different than before. Then it was gone and he was simply smiling at her, verging on teasing. “Cool cool cool. Very cool.”


	26. Drinks Are For Drugs, Kids

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is coming to an end soon based on the fact I'm out of ideas but I've already written the outline of the final chapter (about 5 chaps from here), at which point I will crawl back into my writing hole where I force myself to write non-fanfiction stories. It's been lovely having people actually read this story, especially since I just wrote it to finally get it out of my system after 5 years.   
I've enjoyed writing it and I've definitely really enjoyed having people read it. That's pretty neat.   
So thank you all. We've still got minimum 5 or 6 chapters left but I thought this chapter was a good point to drop my thank you. You'll understand soon enough.

Amy was drunk.

She didn’t normally drink. She was a mature adult with many responsibilities and she always prioritized them over immaturity and partying. But fun is important, too, as is socializing. And sometimes socializing means drinking. Which she had done a lot of.

The party was for the 4th of July and Amy knew less than half of the people attending. It was her roommate’s party and involved half of her building, most of whom she had introduced herself to previously and always greeted whenever she passed them, but she’d never had a full conversation with the vast majority and she certainly wasn’t comfortable enough to approach any of the groups. Drinking, though. Drunk Amy had no trouble fading in and out of each group. She had even won several competitions, all of which she had proposed.

She couldn’t remember who had won beer pong, but she was pretty sure it was not her sobriety. She’d lost her roommates and while she enjoyed the competition she had rallied over the last hour, she didn’t really know any of the people she was playing against.

Fireworks had been going off all day, though she couldn’t really see them. But the real show was about to begin and Amy was looking for a clear space to sit. The party was held in a park near the water. A lot of the pre-gaming went down in the lobby and then on the way over but once everyone got hungry they had somehow miracled a barbecue to make burgers. Amy was already drunk by then so she didn’t think to question it. She was too captured by the games and the view over the water.

She walked further into the park, a somehow clear bench a little ways from the crowd. The fireworks usually came from every direction but she knew the best ones came from the Brooklyn Bridge. There was a light breeze coming in off the water, a relief after the suffocating heat of the afternoon, and Amy was already shivering.

She wondered what Jake was doing.

Not that he hadn’t texted her enough early on to know that he’d had work that morning. But since the festivities began, he hadn’t sent her anything. She was sure he was busy. He was probably at a party or eating some questionable food with Charles that she would have to hear about later. She’d considered inviting him to this party but she wasn’t sure if they were there just yet. Sure, he’d been to her apartment, and they were friends, and he’d admitted that he used to at some point have feelings for her, but she didn’t think he would want to come to a party where even she didn’t know anyone. Besides, he probably already had plans with his friends.

In truth, she’d gotten so far as to compose an invitation in writing, but she backed out at the last minute. She wasn’t sure she was ready to be drunk in front of him, afraid something might slip out if they were to speak in person.

But here she was, thinking about him anyway.

He’d said he didn’t want to ruin what they had with feelings. He said they’d make a ruiny couple. He was probably right. Neither of them were all too great at expressing their feelings in a normal, human way. She couldn’t even invite him to a party. She wanted to be friends with him. She wanted to be _best friends _with him. Would it be nice to date Jake? Maybe. Possibly. She didn’t know. Would it be nice to be able to kiss him? Yes. Yes it would. So nice.

But if that’s not what he wanted then she had to be okay with that, and so she was. They could be friends. They could even be _best _friends. Just _so _friends. They were gonna be so platonic, people wouldn’t have any idea what they were. Heck, they were already pretty much there.

You know what friends do? Friends lift each other up and support each other. They let other friends know how much they mean to them because they want each other to be happy.

Amy opened her texts as the first firework went off. The crack mixed with the breeze sent chills through her and she pulled on the sweatshirt she’d carried around all day for this purpose. She stared at their chat as she began composing a new message.

**Text To: Jake**

_ Dear Jacob,  
I hope your evening is well. _

That was way too formal. She’s trying to be normal. Normal people don’t text like that. She started over.

_Dear Jake,  
I hope whatever festivities you’re partaking in are going well._

That seemed better.

_I’m writing this message to let you know that I am grateful for your existence on this planet. People aren’t told that very often and I felt that you should be. Maybe this will sound weird. In the year or so I’ve known you there were times in which seeing you was my only motivator to continue the day, which sounds weird as I type this. I never thought I would be saying any of this to my barista, but I also never thought my barista would refuse to accept my payment for a full year. The mere knowledge of your existence makes me happy and when I’m having a bad day, I know that you will be there with a drink, waiting to complain. Being your friend brings me so much joy. You deserve to be this happy, as well._  
I’m glad we’re friends. I think we could even be BEST friends one day.   
Thanks for existing.   
Sincerely,   
Amy Santiago

That’s a good, sound message. Clear message. Very platonic, she thinks. She’s got this friends thing down. She reads the message five more times before hitting send. She pockets her phone and turns to the fireworks, already exploding high above her. The party seemed to have calmed, nearly everyone falling to the ground to watch the colors. Only the distant sound of the pop music on the radio was still barely audible behind the cracking.

#

Amy did not remember getting home. She didn’t remember getting changed or putting away her clothes or going through her usual nightly routine. She certainly didn’t remember placing the water and pills on the table next to her bed, but there they were. The world was spinning beneath her, her body floating miles above the earth, though her face was pressed into her pillow and her arms were wrapped tightly around Sir Squigglington.

She squinted an eye open, but that was a mistake.

The room was far too bright and she was suddenly cursing herself for not investing in darker curtains. Her hand felt around, not finding another pillow or the edge of her blankets, and finally pulled Squig over her head to cover her eyes. She was able to peer at her phone long enough to see the many new messages from Jake.

She sighed, suddenly remembering the act of typing and sending a message last night but not the contents. She closed her eyes, hoping for a moment to ignore the reality in which she may have confessed something dumb via text.

**Text From: Jake **

_ Oh my God_  
I dont know what to say to this  
Ames  
Whatd o i evn   
how am i expected to reply to somthing like this  
you know Im not good at emotions  
oh man, am I crying? 

She scrolled back up, ignoring the throbbing in her skull and the spinning room around her in favor of figuring out what the _hell_ she said to him. Reading over it, she had a vague memory of typing it and an even more vague memory of feeling confident and proud in her decision to hit send.

Her head began to spin again before she could attempt a reply. She squeezed her eyes shut, Squig pressed tightly to her forehead, and focused on her breaths.

She didn’t remember falling back to sleep but she felt a little better when she opened her eyes again. There was another message from Jake, only one this time. She drank half of her water and by some miracle made her way through a shower without vomiting. Only once the nausea and dizziness were down to a minimum did she check her phone again. 

**Text From: Jake**

_ I wanna be best friends with you too, Ames_

She decided to just go back to sleep for the day.

#

Any hopes of entering the Starbucks without making a scene were fruitless. The moment the door opened on her, Jake was already being loud. He looked so excited, she was sure his entire body was on vibrate and the only things keeping him from physically shaking the room were the laws of physics.

She approached the register as she always does when someone other than Jake is standing at cash, but the bulging eyed look he gave her made her veer around to the bar where he was already waiting with her drink. A little splashed over the side as his hand shot out to place it in front of her. Once the cup was out of his hand, Jake’s entire body nearly flung over the bar. He’d lifted himself up to lean over it but now his legs were well off the floor and he could have crawled his way across. His face was right in front of her.

“Amy.”

She dropped into her seat, suppressing a smile. “Jake.”

“Your message made me feel things, Amy. You know I don’t know how to deal with emotions. I forwarded it to my mom like, ‘look, people _love_ me!’ I didn’t know what else to do.” He lowered himself off the bar and back behind the counter, already wiping down the spot he was lying across with a rag.

She couldn’t look at him, so instead she stared at her hands cradling her warm cup. Her face felt very warm. She’d debated not coming in, but the reaction would have been no different any other day. She warmed her hand along the side of the cup. “Sorry. I try not to get into the habit of sending drunk texts.”

“_That_ was a drunk text?” The look of utter incredulity on his face was indescribable. He slouched over the counter, leaned as close as he could get without crossing the bar. “Ames. That was grammatically _perfect_. Way too formal, yeah. You did sign your name at the end like you were writing a note to your kid’s school teacher and not your _best friend.” _She did look up then. His grin was so wide and proud and giddy all at once. He looked like he both wanted to fall to the floor and laugh for joy and tease her for the rest of her life but couldn’t decide which to go with so he did neither and only smiled. “We’re _best friends. _You said it yourself.”

She dropped her head onto the counter and groaned, not mentioning that he’d said it first, months and months earlier.

Jake sucked in a deep breath. Amy tensed her shoulders as she waited for what she knew was coming. “Hey, everyone! Amy Santiago is my _Best Friend!_”

There was shuffling behind her, a few muffled laughs, mostly confusion. The only concerning sound was the kitchen door banging open and what she assumed without looking up was Charles. He ran up beside her in seconds, throwing an accusing glare at Jake. “Woah, woah, woah! Jake. We both know your real best friend is right here.”

Amy lifted her head from the counter to look at him, eyebrows scrunched up and mouth pulled sideways. Jake was making the same face.

“I want you two to get married and have dozens of kids, sure, but _best friend? _Jake. Come on. That’s _my _position. I’m not just gonna let some girl come in and steal my throne.”

“Why can’t I be best friends with my girlfriend?”

“So she _is _your girlfriend!”

“What, no, of course not! But you said–”

“Charles,” Amy sighed, placed a hand on his shoulder. Someone had to stop the conversation before feelings were hurt. “I promise you I don’t want your throne. It’s probably surrounded by bone marrow or something.”

Jake and Charles were each ushered back to work with the appearance of Rosa and Terry, the former glaring daggers as sharp as those Amy knows full well she owns and has seen with her own eyes, unprompted. She didn’t blame them when they scattered but she _was_ very surprised to find Jake hovering behind her when she looked up again. He was glancing back and forth between her and the back of Rosa’s head, an antsy look in his eyes and the way he shuffled his feet as though ready to bolt at a moment’s notice.

“Okay,” he started in a low voice, rubbing a hand on his neck. “I’ll drop it after this. But it really did mean a lot to me and I _definitely_ _didn’t cry,” _he paused, his hands raised in front of him and his eyes wide,_ “_no matter what anyone says and you can’t prove anything, except that I absolutely told you I did in the moment.” He laughed but it was small and unsure and very completely sincere. “Would it…would it be okay if I gave you a hug?” His hand was back to his neck.

Amy fumbled for words, already turned around in her seat, and half began to stand up but instead only shifted closer to him. Her mouth opened and closed, her hands moving towards him and then away as she was unsure what to do with them. “Y-yeah. Of course.”

He smiled then, nodding. He carefully wrapped his arms over her shoulders and pulled her to him in the gentlest hug she’d ever felt outside of a family member. She pressed her face to his shoulder and her arms came up under his to hold to the back of his shirt. She could feel his heart beat against her own. She couldn’t tell whose it was that was racing but she felt it might have been both of them. After a beat, he pulled away, smiling brightly at her, and was behind the counter in another moment. He was smiling down at the drink he was making, unable to fully wipe it off his face.

It felt like forever before they spoke again. Amy was well into her book, having not looked up even once to see each glance Jake threw her way when he was sure she was too absorbed to notice.

“I really did tell my mom, by the way. She thinks you’re a lovely girl.”

Amy was sure in that moment she would have to meet this woman one day, even if it meant dating Jake to do it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((To any following and curious: unlike the last 6, this chapter is also based in fact. Specifically in that I sent an almost identical drunk message to my barista but it was New Years and we didnt have a text relationship. But his and Jake's reactions were the same. We lost contact a few years ago but we still send uplifting "I Love You" messages every New Year. I highly recommend))


	27. Sleep Whomst

The dream wasn’t realistic enough to dignify real fear.

Amy would never miss a test. Her calendar was too thorough and she enjoyed tests too much. Nevertheless, she was awake.

She laid in bed, awake. She read that it was better to lie awake in bed when you can’t sleep than to move around and distract yourself. Even if she never fell back to sleep, she would still be rested enough to take on the day. Sure, she would be exhausted, but she’d at least be better off than if she pulled an all-nighter doing homework. This way at least her brain will be rested. Plus, she was statistically more likely to fall asleep this way. So she lay in bed, flat on her back and unmoving, the lights off. Resting.

And the clock kept ticking.

And though this was proven more restful than getting up, she couldn’t ignore the very obvious fact that she _was not asleep. _

She was going to be so tired in the morning. She had to wake up promptly at 7am to be ready for work at 9, and then she had some self-assigned projects to get done that she was hoping to do at Starbucks. At this rate she might not be awake enough to visit Starbucks. If she doesn’t get a nap in during the day, her work will be so sloppy. So she’ll have to skip Starbucks. Which is fine…

But Jake was expecting her. Sure, she saw him nearly every day, but these were practically scheduled meetings and Amy was not one to miss an appointment. Jake would be sad, and Amy would never stop thinking about it.

They were friends. He would understand if she needed to rest. But she would have to let him know that she wasn’t coming so that he didn’t expect her and think she had bailed without telling him. She should compose a note. Maybe she should start now.

_No. _

Composing notes to friends to alert them of her absence isn’t exactly resting her brain. She needs to sleep. Why can’t she sleep? Why is it so hard to sleep? 

Amy rolled over, curled on her side, then flipped over again. It wasn’t comfortable. She prodded her pillow, fluffed her blankets, kicked one leg out, pulled her feet back in. None of it worked. She kicked the blankets back and felt something roll off the bed and lightly plop to the ground. She sat up, reaching for something she didn’t know what. Leaning over the edge of the bed, she squinted into the dark, hoping to make out a shape as she swiped at the ground below her. Her hand hit something soft and she pulled Sir Squigglington IV up next to her.

He’d mostly sat along the side of her bed since being introduced to her room, but now she pulled him to her chest and lay back down, arms wrapped tightly around him. She sunk back into the bed, her eyes closing. She could almost feel herself slipping off, floating away to dreams.

She really ought to thank Jake properly for Sir Squig. She’d tried not to think about the implications of him buying her such a thoughtful gift while she was away. She’d had one bad dream to his knowledge and he went out and bought her a stuffed animal, even though she wasn’t in town. Given that their relationship is based on his being her barista, she had never expected something so kind from him. She had to give him something, too. Something to thank him.

What did he even like? Sour candies, sure, but he has enough of those. And Die Hard. He liked stuffed animals, she’s pretty sure. She couldn’t think why he would give her a stuffed animal if he didn’t have any. Or why he would think to suggest it. She could get him a stuffed animal. She should probably figure out if he had any before she got him one. But would it be better if he did or didn’t have any? It’d be weird if he only had the one from her.

She should just ask him.

Well, she shouldn’t because it was _late _and she was _supposed to be asleep. _

Too late. She’d already hit send.

**Text To: Jake **

** ** _Do you have stuffed animals?_

The response was immediate.

**Text From: Jake **

_ Of course. Im not a monster  
Unless Rosa asks. Then i dont. _

**Text To: Jake**

_ I would never tell her.  
Unprompted._

**Text From: Jake**

_Youre a friend._

Amy continued staring at her phone despite the very real issue of going back to sleep. Her mind was fully awake now and any hope of sleep was just a pleasant dream, one she would not be having because she was awake and pulling her laptop onto her bed with her. She couldn’t decide if Jake would like a stuffed animal or a character from a movie, but she decided to go with animal to be safe. Those were the normally available options and she didn’t want it to look like she had put _too much _planning into this. He would know anyway, but she could at least make it less obvious.

Jake had given her a dragon because only the nicest and bravest people could get passed them, and so her dreams would be safe. She wanted something with equal meaning for him. She didn’t think a dog or a cat was meaningful enough. He’d said he’d originally wanted to get her a knight as protection. Would it be weird to call _him _her knight? Now that they were definitely just friends being friends doing friend things. Was it weird? It was a little weird.

She tabled it, moved the knight plushy she’d found into her basket and saved the tab.

She hadn’t responded to Jake in about 10 minutes, having decided he would assume she had fallen asleep, when her phone buzzed again. 

**Text From: Jake**

_ Wanna get breakfast  
??_

**Text To: Jake**

_ I should be sleeping._

**Text From: Jake**

_But youre not. I’ll pick you up._

**Text To: Jake**

_ It’s 3:35am. _

**Text From: Jake**

_ I can’t hear you. I’m already driving._  
Dont worry about getting changed. Im in pjs  
Seriously itll be a pj party  
Come out, im already here

Amy jumped from her bed and snatched at the glasses on her nightstand. She ran to the window and sure enough, that was Jake’s car sitting with the lights on in the parking lot downstairs. She could sort of make his figure out through the window. He was lounging in the front seat, his phone in his hands.

She raced to her bureau. Jake was in pajamas. He said as much. He wouldn’t lie about that. If she got fully dressed to go downstairs, he would know. But she would never go out underdressed. She was wearing pajamas. She had been in bed. People would know they were pajamas. But Jake would be in pajamas… And she couldn’t let him be alone in that. Besides, Jake was backwards. He would think she was the weird one for not wearing pajamas.

Amy raced out of the apartment in a clean pair of pajama sweatpants and a tshirt. She’d carefully shoved her wallet, phone, and keys into a purse and pulled her hair back into a ponytail. When she reached Jake’s car, he was slumped over and his eyes were closed. She knocked on the window and he nearly leapt out of his seat.

Amy slid into the passenger seat. “What are you doing here?”

“Um, duh? Getting breakfast? I told you that.”

“It’s almost 4 in the morning.”

“Key word being ‘morning’.” He was smiling dopily at her as he pulled out of the parking lot and onto the main road. He glanced sideways and gave her a once-over but for the most part he stared straight ahead at the road. “Nice pjs.”

She glanced down at herself. The sweats and shirt were both bought from the university store and had the logo on them but otherwise were plain. Jake was wearing almost the same thing. His sweatpants were a shade darker and looked much worse for wear and he had the good sense to wear a sweatshirt, which Amy had uncharacteristically forgotten on her rush to get out of the apartment. A mistake, because she was already shivering, despite it being July.

“How did you get to my apartment so fast?”

“I was already there. I left the moment you sent the first message.”

Amy blinked. He only shrugged.

“Why?”

“Couldn’t sleep. Figured you couldn’t either. And I was really craving eggs.”

“Right.” She stared out the window, watching the buildings flash by around her and the bright lights blurring before her eyes. She didn’t have the time nor the energy to put in her contacts, so was wearing glasses, which she would have felt much more self-conscious about if Jake wasn’t also wearing his. She wrapped her arms around herself and rubbed at her biceps. There were still cars out on the road, it being Brooklyn, but not nearly as many as she had expected. The university was pretty empty for the summer so the usual college students weren’t wandering drunkenly through the streets. Now it was only the usual homeless and drunks doing that. “Where are we going?”

“There’s a 24-hour diner I go to sometimes. It’s great. They charge half price in the middle of the night and they give you free pie if it’s display.”

Amy made a face at him but he pretended not to notice. They sat in silence for the next few moments it took to drive to the diner and park right next to the door. Amy followed Jake in, watched him reach behind the hosts podium for children’s menus, saw him wave to the woman behind the register before seating himself at a booth. She quickly followed him over, glancing hesitantly at the Please Wait to Be Seated sign they were passing. He didn’t seem to notice, having already opened the crayons and begun coloring. He pushed a second menu and crayon packet across the table to her.

“Don’t worry about it. They know me.”

A girl Amy vaguely recognized approached the table looking bored and holding a single menu. She dropped it unceremoniously in front of Amy and pushed Jake aside to slide into the booth next to him. He smiled at her and Amy wondered, not for the first time, at their relationship.

“Boy, what are you _doing _here? _I _don’t even want to be here.”

Jake gestured with a hand towards Amy, ignoring the question. “Gina, this is Amy.”

Gina gave her the once over, one brow raised in a very obviously judging glance. Amy felt herself straighten up despite the urge to shrink into herself. Gina nodded, seeming as though she’d already passed judgement. Amy couldn’t decide if that was good or bad.

“So you’re the girl Jake is obsessed with.”

Amy’s eyes flashed over to Jake in time to see his ears redden and his shoulders stiffen. “I’m not– I talk about all my friends.”

She hummed a very long note that hit several octaves. “Y’okay. None of them nearly as much as her.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be working, Gina, and not embarrassing me?”

“Girl, embarrassing you _is _my job.” She seemed to thrive on the grumbling Jake did at hearing that. She got up, her job complete, and stood at the end of the table. “Seriously, though, why are you here? Don’t you have work tomorrow?”

Jake shrugged. “I’ll get there. Amy here couldn’t sleep and I was awake so I thought I’d treat her to midnight pie.” He looked to Amy and smiled, then backtracked. “Or anything else she wants. It doesn’t have to be pie. I’m getting pie.”

Amy laughed. She didn’t know what to say, feeling the judgmental eyes of Gina tracking her every move and reaction. She still couldn’t figure out who Gina was, though she’d all but scrapped the idea that she was his girlfriend. For one, she was almost positive Jake was single. She couldn’t remember if he’d told her that or not, but she was pretty sure he would have mentioned a girlfriend. Secondly, he’d said he used to have a crush on her and considered making a move and he wouldn’t have done that if he was dating someone. Sure, she didn’t have a time frame on that, but they’d only known each other less than a year. Lastly, looking at their current interaction and the way Gina seemed to thrive on embarrassing Jake, they seemed almost like siblings, if anything.

“Can mine be non-display pie?” She gave a hesitant glance at Gina.

“Yes. Please. I keep telling Jake to stop ordering the display pie. It’s been out _all day, _you dongus.”

“I’ve been eating display pie for years and I’m still alive.”

Gina rolled her eyes to Amy who, in turn, felt a sudden surge of excitement at being included in this interaction when she was sure Gina was going to make fun of her, going off the everything about her personality. “One fresh pie and one gross, old, stale pie. Great.”

“Oh! And my—”

She cut Jake off with a wave of her wrist before he could continue. “Yeah, yeah, I know your order already, Jacob. What about you, Nerd-Hanging-Out-with-this-Loser?”

“It’s Amy.”

“Whatever.”

Amy ordered hot tea, suddenly aware as the front door opened and closed that she was still very cold and very sweater-less. She tried to hide it, forcing her arms from circling her body, instead dropping her folded hands onto the table in front of her. Gina had already walked away without another word. Jake began drumming on the table mindlessly. His eyes were roving the diner without picking up on anything in particular. If he was there as often as it seemed, he probably didn’t need to look around. Amy watched him, focusing all her attention on his face, calm and distracted. He had a slight smile, almost dreamy.

“So,” Amy asked finally, after countless months. “How do you and Gina know each other?”

Jake’s gaze was pulled back to her. “Oh, we grew up together. My nana basically raised us while our moms were working since neither of us had dads.”

“OH!” Amy said it without thinking, the sounds out of her mouth without permission from the rest of her. She chalked it up to the exhaustion and slapped a hand over her mouth. Jake looked taken aback, to say the least. He blinked at her several times, eyebrows raised. “Sorry. I’m… You mentioned her a few times before and I didn’t know but I thought you mentioned her in relation to your nana and at first I thought you were dating but now that makes sense and I’m rambling. I’m sorry.” She wanted to sink into the floor and cease being, but instead she just covered her face and dropped her head onto the table.

But Jake was laughing. She peeked between her fingers and he didn’t appear to be weirded out by her. “First off, the idea of me dating Gina? Horrifying. Second… no, that’s really it. Gross.”

She already figured as much but she still felt the relief she knew would come even though she kept telling herself it was never going to happen between her and Jake. They agreed they were better as friends. It would be “ruiny” to picture them together. Her face down on the cool table didn’t help the shivers she was trying to hide.

“Hey, are you cold?”

She lifted her head enough to stare up at him in sheepish silence. “N…no. Why would I be – it’s July. It’s summer – who gets cold durrrrring.” She stopped speaking, grinding her teeth. Chills always happen at the worst time, always violently and when she’s speaking so it’s extremely noticeable. Her whole body had shaken, if Jake hadn’t heard her words tumble during that last part.

He was already pulling the sweatshirt off and draping it over her shoulders by the time she realized what he was doing. It was too late to say no, but she still wanted to. She opened her mouth to protest but he only shook his head as though it were nothing. And it probably was nothing. He was being nice. He was being a friend, which is what they are. Friends. And when the warmth of the sweatshirt hit her, there was not a chance he was getting it back. She could feel herself sink into it, her shoulders slouched for one rare moment, and she wrapped it fully around herself. She slipped her arms into the sleeves and pulled her hands up to her face, fully encompassed in warmth and the smell of Jake that she’d already gotten used to just from the many hugs she’d received since returning home. This was like being wrapped in a hug that never ended while also being _so much warmer_.

Jake was watching her with an odd look on his face that she would have asked him about had Gina not walked over at that moment with their plates. She gave a suggestive glance at Jake, her mouth open to make a comment as she eyed his sweatshirt, but he frantically waved and made wide-eyes at her. She left, looking bored.

Along with the pies, Gina had brought Jake a plate piled high with scrambled eggs and fries and he dug into this first. Amy only held her warm mug of tea between her hands, the warmth surrounding her making her very calm and very, _very_ sleepy.

They ate in comfortable silence with only the occasional exaggerated gasp from Jake whenever Amy stole one of his fries. Once they were done, both of them tired and full, Jake stood, holding a hand for Amy to grab onto when she sleepily stumbled out of the booth. He didn’t let go of her hand as they walked to the counter to pay and as Amy reached for her wallet, he used it to pull her behind him a step and drop cash on the desk.

“Jake, what–”

His smile was soft and sleepy and so very affectionate. “_I_ dragged _you _out of the house at 4 in the morning. I’m paying.”

“You’ve been giving me free drinks for a year. I can pay for my _and your _food.”

He yawned and dropped her hand to throw his arm over her shoulders. The way he was leaning on her, he might have done it more to hold himself up than as a show of affection. Of course, it wouldn’t have been that. They were both just _very_ tired. Either way, she leaned into him as well, the two of them collectively holding themselves up.

“If that is the way you feel, you can pay next time.”

She rolled her eyes, ignoring the way her heart rate sped up at the prospect of a next time. God, she really needed to go to sleep. Jake waved to Gina but she was playing on her phone and only hummed an acknowledgement, which was still more than expected. Jake and Amy walked out into the parking lot still hanging off each other. It was cooler outside than it had been in the diner, the breeze sending chills through her. Jake seemed unfazed by it, and he probably was because it was July and only Amy gets cold in July. They separated at the passenger door, Jake unwrapping his arm from around Amy and dragged his feet all the way around to the driver’s side.

The ride back was quiet, too. Both of them too tired by this point to talk and too comfortable to need to break it anyway. Amy nearly fell asleep against the window, somehow not as worried about the rising sun ahead of them as she should have been, normally would have been in every other scenario but this one. The day was going to be Hell. She was going to be absolutely exhausted and dead on her feet. But she couldn’t seem to mind. She was vaguely aware of the glances Jake was throwing her way or the lazy smile plastered permanently on his face.

He pulled into her parking lot and parked across from the entrance. Then he twisted in his seat to face her.

Amy pushed away from the window to sit up straight. Her neck ached but that was going to be the least of her issues. She smiled lazily back at Jake, matching his exhaustion. “Thanks for the pie. And the company.”

“Any time. Seriously. Thanks for joining me. I know you’ll hate me in a few hours but it was still nice to see you when I’m not trapped behind the bar.”

“It’s so weird, I was sure you didn’t have legs. Was pretty positive you only existed from the waist up.” Her smile got wider without her trying to. She blamed it on the exhaustion. She was going to look positively manic all day.

“Ya know, that’s wild cause I was thinking the same exact thing about you.”

They were just smiling at each other now, both of them ready to crash but not at all ready to part ways and have to start their likely horrible day. Finally, though, a particularly strong yawn overcame Amy and she had to accept that it was time. She might even get an hour or two of sleep in before work. She knew Jake would try to stay awake through till the next night but she couldn’t do that. She took in his face again. She’d been staring at him all night, but now she really looked at him. He looked so young and sweet. Even the bags under his eyes only made him appear more sympathetic. Amy still wasn’t used to seeing Jake with glasses and she was sure it would be a while before it happened again. They seemed to frame his face perfectly. He looked that much dorkier, but he was still very handsome. It gave him a more dignified look.

He was cute, is what she was getting at. He was really cute and she would never get enough of that face.

She yawned and her whole body began stretching involuntarily to pop the crick in her neck and back. “This was nice. We’ll have to do this again sometime.” Jake was nodding at her as she debated a hug. “I’d better try to get at least some sleep. Good luck tomorrow, Jake. I doubt if I’ll see you.”

He shrugged. “Wouldn’t blame you. Have a nice day, Ames.” He leaned across to her seat to wrap her in one last, warm, welcome hug wherein she breathed him in then got out of the car. He waited till she got through the entrance doors before pulling away. She made it all the way to her own apartment before realizing she still had on Jake’s sweatshirt. It was too late to call him back.

**Text To: Jake **

_ Accidentally stole your sweatshirt. I’ll bring it back ASAP_

**Text From: Jake **

_ No rush. Bring it nxt time _

She should probably wash it before returning it. It was only fair. She had worm it, after all. And so long as she was already resigned to washing it, well. Amy collapsed into her bed, her whole body curled up on it’s side with Jake’s sweatshirt wrapped around her. It was still heavy with his scent and the warmth she always felt whenever he hugged her. His sweatshirt surrounding her like a blanket and with Sir Squig in her arms, Amy began to drop off into what she knew would not be as restful or as long as she needed. Just before she could slip fully away, however, she grabbed her open laptop and hit “Buy” on the knight plush.

She didn’t think about the implications or what Jake might think, didn’t think about all the ways this could go wrong. It wouldn’t, because Jake was her friend and he was going to love Leopold.


	28. Dumbassery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this chapter on the backs of receipts while standing register at work and it is my favorite chapter. Enjoy.

“Why didn’t you tell me about the candy section of your store?”

“Excuse me?” Amy had been lost in her book for well over an hour, unaware of the world around her. She looked up, a dazed look in her eyes as she blinked back into reality. Jake was staring accusingly down at her. Rosa was behind him, eyes narrowed as she went about her job that Jake was ignoring for whatever this was. Amy made a face at her and Rosa rolled her eyes back before moving on. Amy felt that at least excused her. She didn’t really care on Jake’s behalf.

“I tried to visit you but you weren’t there and I found all this candy.” He emptied an apron’s-full of candy bags onto the counter in front of her, oblivious to the wide-eyed, gaping stare Amy was throwing his way. “Your coworker, Scully, who is a terrible employee by the way – I think he was napping? – gave me this expired candy for almost _free._”

“Jake, don’t eat that.”

_He’d visited her._

“How dare you not tell me? Don’t you love me?”

_At her work._

“Jake, of course I do.”

“HA! So you admit it!”

_He’d visited her work. To see her. _

Wait, what had she said?

She would have blushed but she dropped her face into her hands and sighed heavily. “What are we arguing over? Don’t eat expired candy. You’ll get sick.” Rosa grunted, her agreement with Amy evident by the clear punch she’d delivered to Jake’s upper arm. He squeaked and rubbed it as he pouted at the two.

“Candy doesn’t go bad. Ya’ll are just weak.”

#

When Amy checked her phone after work, there was a text from Jake. He was supposed to also be at work, so he really shouldn’t have been texting. He knew she was going to come in to Starbucks for her daily coffee so he would see her soon enough. There was really no need for him to be going against company policy to talk to her when she was _Down the Street, Jake, we’ve been over this. _

**Text From: Jake **

_ You dont have to come in today. Im home sick._

At least he wasn’t texting at work?

**Text To: Jake **

_ I told you not to eat that candy, dummy._

**Text From: Jake**

_ way to blame the victim, Amy_

God, he was dumb. She didn’t know how she ended up friends with such a disaster. She’d put in so much work and organization into her life, into interacting with the right people and mingling with all the right connections and positive influences. At six years old, she’d decided she was going to be the first Cuban, female president. And now she was best friends with a dumbass. A dumbass who didn’t even understand not to eat expired foods.

**Text To: Jake **

_ What’s your address? _

**Text From: Jake**

_ are you coming to put me out of my misery ??_

**Text To: Jake**

_ No. You don’t deserve that kindness.   
I’m keeping you alive so you can learn from your mistakes like the rest of us. _

#

She was standing outside his apartment door not an hour later with her bag in hand, hesitating for the first time. There’d been no hesitation in making the decision. She’d dropped all plans for the day and left without even thinking about it. There was no hesitation at the store as she picked up supplies, or at her apartment as she dropped off her own belongings and picked up some extras. Even Jake handed his address over quite easily. There’d been nothing to stop her or make her think about it until she stood at his front step, her hand raised but unmoving next to the door.

What if he didn’t want to be bothered? He probably wouldn’t want to see her. She wouldn’t want to see him if she were in that state. Though she would never be in that state in the first place because she worked very hard to prevent these sorts of illnesses.

He knew she was coming. He had to. He must be expecting her. And he wouldn’t get any better from her standing around second guessing herself.

She knocked.

It was another minute before she heard shuffling behind the door and the lock click. Jake opened the door shrouded in a blanket, his hair a mess, and his glasses lopsided. His face was extremely pale and the bags under his eyes were deeper and darker than they normally were when he pulled all-nighters or showed up hungover, though the last one had only happened once.

He smiled weakly at her. “Aaaamieeee. You’re here!” He looked like he wanted to be proud or excited but couldn’t process the definition of the words. His mouth thinned out and he glanced seriously across at her, still waiting over the threshold. “Now, Ames. I know you only came her cause you can’t get enough of my body, but I’m in _no _condition for any-”

“Stop.”

He broke out in a grin and Amy pushed past him into the kitchen she could see from the doorway. Jake closed the door and returned to where he was before she’d arrived; he flopped unceremoniously onto the couch and curled under the blanket around him so that his face pressed hard into the cushion and Amy could hear the moan that seemed to be emanating from him.

She finished unpacking her small amount of groceries and placing them in cabinets and the refrigerator. She also unloaded some things from the fridge while she was there, tossing more expired foods without any of the hesitation she had when she arrived. Once done, she approached the couch, nudged his socked feet so that they curled further under him, and dropped onto the couch next to him. He poked his nose out of the blanket, peaked across at her, then pulled his face back in. Despite this, he seemed to shift just the tiniest bit closer to her.

Amy dropped a hand onto the blanket and began rubbing calming circles over his back. He rolled over, shifting ever closer.

He mumbled something that Amy couldn’t hear.

“Jake, I can’t hear you under the blankets. You’re a grown person, remarkably. Use your words.”

He huffed, but his voice came back clearer. “I said it’s unfair that I have to be a hot mess but you get to just be hot.” After the words came out, however, his eyes widened and his face dug further into the cushions, the blanket pulled tight around him. Amy’s hand stilled.

“Well, the dynamic hasn’t really changed that much, then.”

“You’re right,” he said, sitting upright and grinning at her. “It’s usually just swapped.”

She pulled her hand back and Jake wilted at the loss. “Hey! I’ll have you know, I am _always _hot.” She glared at him, trying very hard to keep her composure though all she could focus on was _how they got to this point. _

Jake’s eyes raked over her, taking more than a moment in which Amy could feel the blood rushing to her face. This didn’t feel like a very platonic moment. His eyes finally flicked back up to meet hers. He nodded. “Yeah, you are.” They both looked away, swallowing and avoiding eye contact. Neither of them noticed the other doing the same.

“Still,” Jake continued, clearing his throat. “I’m in pajamas and you’re wearing, what, a pantsuit?”

Amy rubbed a hand down her pant leg, suddenly very aware of her clothing choice. She could have come in what she wore to work but those were her work clothes and this was different. She probably could have worn something more casual. She’s not sure why she wasted another moment she could have been helping Jake instead on picking out an outfit. “This is my casual wear.”

“Ames, I have seen you in sweats. I know you own them.”

“Well, what do you want now? Would you like me to leave?” She aimed for wit but what came out was much more defensive. And yeah, that’s how she felt but that’s not what she wanted to come across.

He sprung forward before her thoughts could collect themselves. His hand came to rest on her arm, clinging to her. His eyes looked pleading. “No. No, no. You can borrow some of my clothes.” He was pouting up at her with watery eyes and she suddenly found herself nodding. She was directed toward his room, toward his closet. Jake couldn’t get off the couch, but she found it well enough on her own. She’d asked what clothes were okay to borrow and he’d waved an arm. Whatever she picked up was fine. The top drawer was clean, he’d assured her.

Amy couldn’t make herself join him on the couch right away, very aware of the way his scent hung around her in his old t-shirt and plaid pajama pants. They were definitely more comfortable than the outfit she’d had on, but it felt weird to be wearing them. She glanced in Jake’s direction, cocooned on the couch. His eyes were lidded, glazed over. She turned her back to him as she stood in his kitchen and tugged on the collar of his shirt, bringing it up to her nose. If he said it was clean, she believed him. The warm comforting scent of _Jake _was all over it. She breathed in and let the collar drop, his much worn shirt falling against her.

Food. Food is important. Jake probably hadn’t had any real food all day.

“Do you think you can stomach soup? I brought three kinds of chicken soup and lots of crackers.”

His head lifted off the couch but dropped back down. He rolled onto his back. “What kind of crackers?”

Amy rolled her eyes. She began rifling through his cabinets. It took her five minutes to heat up the soup but twenty minutes just to find the pot to do it in. She set the only clean bowl in front of Jake along with a roll of crackers and two bottles, one of water, one Gatorade. He pushed himself into a sitting position and rubbed his eyes, the blanket shifting off of one shoulder. He blinked away the nap he’d fallen into, his face turned up to her with a thank you on his lips but he stopped short and the words died on his tongue. He continued blinking at her. Amy’s head tilted to one side, a brow raised.

“What?”

“N… nothing. Just, um.” He swallowed and continued staring at her another minute then he blinked again and turned his attention to the soup in front of him. His ears were red. “You look good.”

Her eyes widened and she suddenly looked down at his clothes on her body. “Oh.” She rubbed a hand against her bicep. “Right. So!” Amy dropped onto the couch and Jake moved to make room. She nudged his side and he pulled the bowl of soup to his chest and leaned back against her. Their shoulders stayed touching as he ate. “What do you want to watch?”

He seemed to be considering. Suddenly, he shot forward, splashing a bit of soup onto his lap. He didn’t seem to notice. “Oh! Oh, oh, OH! Die Hard! We’re watching all of the Die Hard’s.” Before Amy could offer a protest, Jake had already dropped the bowl back onto the table and raced off to his room. Amy wiped up the spilled soup off the table while Jake set up a dvd on the TV. He threw himself back onto the couch, not caring to miss Amy and landing half in her lap before she pushed him off. He hit play, the first commercials starting as Jake grabbed the roll of crackers, wrapped the blanket back around himself, and leaned into Amy. “See, this is fun! Why don’t we have more pajama parties?”

“Jake, this isn’t a party. I’m here because you’re a dumbass and got yourself sick.”

He frowned, shoulders slumped, and turned away from her as he fidgeted with the edge of his blanket. He looked like he’d been kicked and Amy noticed him slowly shifting his weight to move to the other side of the couch. It was a tiny movement, but her heart sunk when she noticed it. She wanted to reach across and pull him back to her.

“We should do this more when you’re not sick. Then we could get takeout without killing you.” She made sure to watch in the direction of the TV and not him, but she could see him perk up out of the corner of her eye. When she purposefully stretched her arms out in front of her and slumped back onto his arm, her head dropping slightly to rest on his shoulder, he didn’t protest. He jumped a bit, but he immediately forced himself to relax into her. She hoped that meant they were okay. “It’d be more fun for you, anyway.”

His face was turned towards hers but she was pointedly looking away and missed the soft look in his eyes. “I dunno. I’m pretty happy right here.”

“Well you won’t be once the vomiting sets in.”

The warmth at her side was lost as Jake careened away from her. She lost balance, her hand reaching out to hold her up. “WHY would you bring that up?” He threw his body onto the couch away from her but didn’t protest when she reached over and started to rub his shoulders again. “I know it’s your favorite thing to ruin, but we were having a _moment, _Ames. Jeeze.”

“You have to learn somehow!”

He grumbled into the cushions some more. Barely a moment later, he’d swung his legs off the couch, stood up, and faced Amy. Without another word, he flung his body on top of hers, his legs splayed out across the cushions while his chest rested on Amy’s lap, his arms stretched out in front of him. He wriggled back and rested his head against Amy’s thigh. All the while, Amy had stilled, her whole body freezing up, her arms hovering over him unsure what to do or where to lay. She stared down at him in her lap and her heart slammed repeatedly against her ribs in a painful thrum. Slowly, very, _very _slowly, she lowered her hands to Jake’s back, resting atop the blanket he still had hanging across him. She feared any movement she made might make him second guess what he was doing and then he’d sit up and move away from her and she wanted nothing more than for him to stay where he was. He seemed to relax under her touch though and all she could think about was where on the scale of Friends did this sit? Friends lie on top of each other and have pajama days and cuddle and watch movies and take care of each other when one of them is sick. That’s what friends are for. Friends could throw themselves on top of their friend’s legs and trap them in place for the duration of a movie they didn’t want to watch. That actually sounded very much like what it must be like to be friends with Jake. But she was sure friends didn’t have the thoughts she was having or enjoy the closeness this much and not want their friend to ever get up.

It didn’t seem to matter, though, because as the movie started, Jake didn’t appear to be moving any time soon. And he didn’t seem to mind when Amy’s hand gravitated to the curls on the top of his head and threaded between strands, her fingers tangling into his hair and brushing his scalp. She hadn’t even noticed when she started, suddenly aware of what she was doing. Her hand stilled when she realized, debating pulling her hand back. But then Jake hummed and his eyes, which had closed without either of them realizing it, flicked open and up to look at her. When she continued combing her hand through his hair, his eyes closed again and the corner of his lip raised.

They watched the movie like that, Amy distractedly watching Jake, him slipping in and out of sleep but never letting her stop. She chalked it up to his weakened state. She didn’t have an excuse for herself.

#

This is the point in novels, Amy knew, when the protagonist would look over at the potential love interest and realize that they could see themself able to fall in love with them. This wasn’t that moment. Not because she couldn’t see it but because looking down at the guy curled in a ball asleep next to her with his mouth hanging open, his head back in her lap for the third time that afternoon, arms wrapped tightly around the stuffed lion she’d bought weeks ago for him but only just remembered to give him _(“oh right, this is for you. His name is Leopold but you can change it if you want.” A teary gasp, the widest smile, a sudden hug that knocked them both off balance. “Leopold. Oh, my God. I love him, he’s perfect. I’m keeping him forever.”), _she knew she was already very much in love with the guy.


	29. Book of Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait. I forgot to write this chapter. Or the next 3. Whoops.

When Amy walked into the Starbucks with Jake’s sweatshirt thrown over her shoulder, she was really hoping Charles wouldn’t be there to see it. She could deal with anyone else, but she wouldn’t have an explanation for Charles that he would ever believe.

What she hadn’t counted on was Gina to be sitting at the bar, wagging her eyebrows suggestively at Amy as she hid the sweatshirt at her side.

Gina had to know she had the sweatshirt. She’d been there when Jake loaned it to her and she made suggestive faces at her then. What was it with Jake and Gina expressing their every thought through facial expressions? Amy could almost tell they were raised together through that comparison alone.

Gina was also Jake’s closest friend and not that she expected Jake to mention it because it wasn’t a big deal anyway, but if it were to be noted at all, Jake would have no reason to hide who had it because there was nothing weird about Amy sort of accidentally stealing his sweatshirt after he loaned it out. She didn’t mean to keep it so long. She’d fallen asleep in it once and washed it the next day but then she got trapped outside of her apartment while doing laundry and it was the only sweatshirt she had on her so she had to wear it to walk to the front desk to ask for a key, which meant she’d have to wash it again and then she accidentally grabbed it out of her closet instead of one of hers when she woke up cold one night and ended up sleeping in it a second time and really it was an accident.

Amy draped the sweatshirt over the back of her chair before sitting down two seats from Gina. She smiled as wide as she could to cover up the anxiety she was suddenly feeling.

“Gross, you look like you’re gonna murder someone.”

Amy dropped the smile. Jake placed her drink in front of her. “Gina, play nice.”

“I will not. So, Amy,” she turned away from Jake who was already working on the line of orders he should have made instead of Amy’s unpaid for drink. “Finally returning Jake’s sweatshirt? What’d you do to it?”

Amy startled, propelling backwards and sputtering. “Nothing! Why would I do something to it?? I just forgot – I was busy – it just, I never got around to – I don’t see what – I had to wash it–” She couldn’t seem to find a stable sentence to settle on. She didn’t know why she was lying to come up with an excuse when the real answer was innocent enough. She just hadn’t gotten around to it. Things kept coming up. Why couldn’t she just say that? Why was she still not saying that? “I forgot!”

“_You_ forgot?” Gina looked like she had found buried treasure, and by found she of course meant trailed behind someone while they tracked down and dug it up and then claimed it as her own anyway. A triumph not exactly deserved but smug nonetheless. “Jake told me about your detailed planner. How would you, Amy Santiago, forget to do something as easy as returning a sweatshirt when you probably know what time of day you’ll use the bathroom in three years? Hmm?”

Amy felt her face warming and had to look away. She pointedly glared at the counter, her hands folded in front of her. She could feel Jake watching her but when her eyes darted up to glance at him, he suddenly turned away. She took a deep breath, ignored the judging looks she could feel coming from Gina, and tried to catch Jake’s eye.

“Not that I should have to tell you,” she started. He looked at her with all of the attention in the world, as though he’d forgotten he was even at work and was only waiting for her to speak first. “I’m sure you heard Gina devising rumors already. I brought your sweatshirt back. Sorry it took so long.”

“Hey, yeah, no problem.” He didn’t even glance in the sweaters direction. “You needed it more than I did. I didn’t even notice it was gone.”

That last bit was a lie, Amy knew. His voice rose a pitch, trying and failing to be casual. Gina beat her to the comment, though.

“What a god damn lie, Jacob. You didn’t shut up about that sweatshirt for an hour the other day. All you talked about was how Amy had it and that you _really don’t care. _It is _all _this boy thinks about. You and this sweatshirt are in his fantasies.”

It was Jake’s turn to look flushed. His lips thinned, pressed together. His Adam’s apple bobbed. “You have to stop calling all my thoughts fantasies.”

“I will not.”

Amy felt herself slipping away from the conversation, at which point she would normally retreat into a book and hope everyone forgot about her. But this was Jake and she’d spent way too much time around him for that. So instead, she laughed and adopted the most teasing voice she could muster. “Aw, Jake. You fantasize about me?”

His face turned even more red, if that were possible, and he looked as though he wished the Earth would swallow him whole. His mouth dropped open but no words came out. He licked his lips, his eyes dropping from hers. “I don’t fantasize – it’s called _thinking_. I can think just as good as the rest of the thinkers.”

“It’s “_as well_”. You think about me all the time, then?”

He rolled his eyes. They could both feel Gina thriving on the awkwardness radiating from each of them. Neither of them could look her way.

“Ames. Obviously I think about you. You’re my best friend.”

“Wow, okay, I’m just here then, huh.” Gina made as though to stand up but her wish to stay seated near the drama won out over her need to be dramatic. Jake turned his head to stick his tongue out at Gina and he looked very hesitant to turn back to Amy. But after a long moment he glanced back at her, his eyes trailing her face before dropping to the dishes in the sink.

“So,” he started, avoiding eye contact. “I’m sure you’re excited for classes.”

Amy sat up straighter, her hands gripping the edge of the counter. She forgot the awkwardness of a moment ago, her thoughts consumed by the schedule she’d spent weeks perfecting. Gina groaned loudly but stopped when neither of them seemed to be paying attention. Jake dropped another drink in front of Amy as she talked animatedly about her classes and professors, Jake adding little but not missing a word.

#

“_Dearest Jake,” _Gina began, unprompted, surprising both Jake and Amy out of their thoughts and to look in her direction.

"Jake made a face; his eyes, mouth, and nose scrunched up. Amy simply glanced up from her book for a half a second before turning away in case this was outside of her personal boundaries with Jake and Gina. She doubted Gina would say anything aloud that she didn’t want heard by everyone in a 50 mile radius, but she still felt the need to offer some semblance of privacy to the conversation.

Gina continued, unbothered. _“It has been my greatest pleasure making your acquaintance. I greatly appreciate your acceptance of me in your place of business and your generosity **(though unnecessary, seriously)**. I consider you to be more than a work colleague.” _Gina paused, throwing her gaze at Amy, who was now staring wide-eyed at her as she began to recognize the words being said.

Amy looked to Jake, but he was staring at Gina with the same wide-eyed fear in his eyes, the color draining from his face. She looked back to Gina, who seemed to be gaining some power with every passing second. Amy noticed the small, many times folded and unfolded note in Gina’s hands. She could feel the Earth opening at her feet and only hoped it swallowed her whole before Gina was finished speaking. She couldn’t look to Jake again.

Gina cleared her throat. “_I consider you to be more than a work colleague,” _she repeated,_ “especially as we don’t work together, and I would like, if you are interested, to open communication outside of our jobs. Maybe I can get you coffee for once.” _

Before she could finish reading, Jake had suddenly regained sense of his body and launched himself half over the counter, nearly knocking Gina back if she hadn’t seen it coming and spun away. She didn’t look surprised or put-off by the reaction. In fact, Amy would say she even looked pleased, as though she’d predicted it and wanted nothing more.

Jake was around the bar in seconds, throwing his full body over Gina’s shoulders to tackle her to the ground. She curled in on herself, crumbling the paper in her fist. Jake was hissing something into Gina’s ear, both hands working to pry the note from her hands. She wasn’t giving in, however. Jake let go of her, stared Gina in the eyes, narrowed his, and leaned forward and licked up the side of her face.

“GROSS!” Gina dropped the note, pin-wheeling away from him as she rubbed at her cheek. While she was distracted, Jake threw his body to the floor and had the crumbled and torn piece of paper stuffed into his pocket again. Gina looked him in the eye and, without reading from anything, recited the last line. “_Please feel no obligations to make a return. If this has made you uncomfortable, please let me know so that I may avoid future issue.”_

Jake straightened his apron and hurried to the backroom, out of sight, not catching Amy’s eye as he walked by. Amy sat in her seat, as yet unmoved, frozen in place since Gina began speaking. That was, without a doubt, her note. The exact note she hand wrote and gave to Jake before disappearing off the face of the Earth.

She knew he must have read it, since he had her phone number. He’d said himself that he’d read it. And he’d kept her phone number from it. But she didn’t think he’d kept _the whole note._ And why did _Gina _have it?

Amy had almost forgotten the contents of the note. Hearing it now, almost a year later, she suddenly regretted a great many things. Sure, they were in a good place now and they’d come to terms with a lot of things. If she never gave Jake that note, they wouldn’t have the text relationship that they do now, and they probably wouldn’t hang out as much as they do. Or perhaps they might have done sooner, had she not inhibited their growth by throwing the note into the ether? It was much too late to think about that one, though.

Compared to her most recent heart-felt message to Jake from July 4th, however, this note felt _extremely stilted _and _god, did she really sound like that? _No wonder it had gotten so weird so quickly.

She waited patiently to wake up from whatever dream she was living, or to blink and find Jake still standing in front of her, Gina accusing her of murder, and the note all but an hallucination.

It didn’t happen.

Gina was smirking at Amy, still unmoved. She pulled on her jacket, reached into her pocket, and dropped a very worn, tattered leather wallet onto the bar in front of Amy. “Give that back to Jake. He probably doesn’t even know it’s gone. I’d keep it but he doesn’t have any more interesting things in there.” With that, she turned and exited the store.

Amy waited another twenty minutes before Jake returned.

Out he slunk, his head down, a hand rubbing at the back of his neck. Amy couldn’t catch his eye, not that she wanted to. He glanced up at her, only to see if she was still there, and dropped his head immediately to his unwashed dishes. He continued cleaning, very few customers having come in while he was away to merit getting in trouble for wandering off.

After only a minute standing across from each other in silence, Jake coughed. Amy pulled her gaze up from her book, not a page turned since Gina’s big reveal. She was fiddling with the wallet in her lap. She hadn’t gone through it like Gina had, but she did keep pulling at the torn fabric.

Jake met her eyes very briefly, just long enough to squint an eye and raise a brow. A silent hope to pretend whatever that was had never happened.

Amy cleared her throat. “Um. Gina… Gina left this for you.” She slid his wallet onto the counter where his eyes landed immediately. He was hesitant, eyeing her. “I didn’t go through it, or anything. Not that there could be anything more embarrassing about me in there. But I didn’t. I wouldn’t. If you were… wondering.” She looked down.

Jake shoved the wallet into his pocket. Then he started to laugh.

Amy felt the worry ease off her chest, slowly at first and then it was gone. She caught Jake’s eye and then she was laughing with him.

“God, I’m embarrassing. I can’t believe I wrote that. I can’t believe you didn’t throw it out immediately.”

“Well, you went to so much work, it’d be rude to trash it.”

He smiled at her. She felt her face begin to flush.

“Seriously, the hand writing is insane. I’ve been banned from writing here cause it’s so illegible.” He flexes a hand in front of him, absently scrubs a towel over a damp edge of the counter. “I’m…” He pauses, swallows, debates each word as it comes to him. “I’m sorry. About Gina. And about me. I shouldn’t – I didn’t – I just… I don’t even know why I kept the note. It was just really nice and it was dumb to get as freaked out as I did. I’d be super lucky to have someone as great as you like me. I was being an idiot. And I guess I kept the note cause it was a nice reminder that anyone could think so highly of me, especially a very picky super dork who it turns out was just asking to level up as friends and was not asking me on a date.”

By the end of his speech, he was pointedly watching the ground, his hand attached to the scruff at the back of his neck. The tips of his ears were red and all she could see of his face were his almost closed eyes and the clenching and unclenching of his jaw.

Amy could have told him right there. The words were on the tip of her tongue.

“But it’s super cool being your best friend. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

He finally glanced up at her, the shyest smile in his eyes. Amy didn’t have the words to tell him that she loved being his friend, and she definitely wouldn’t say no if he decided he was into adding a title to their relationship. If she could reach forward and hug him or kiss him or assure him in any way that he hadn’t gotten it wrong back then, she would have. But then they were in such a good place now. And he didn’t want that now.

And how do you tell your best friend, anyway, _I’d be into it if you were_, without making everything weird?

“Well,” she started, not thinking about the words before she said them. “If it means anything, I wouldn’t have thought it weird back then if you’d interpreted it differently. You know. Not that that’s what I was trying to do, but if you had been into it at the time, I wouldn’t have been against it. Back then, I mean. You’re not unattractive. And you’re funny. I would have been flattered to think you liked me.”

“Woah there, Ames. That sounds awfully close to a compliment.”

“I pay you nothing _but _compliments, Jacob.”

“You’re damn right.”

She sighed but she was smiling. She was getting far too close to revealing something but she couldn’t seem to stop speaking. Her hand fidgeted with the book she wasn’t reading. “I might have had… a little crush on you. That wasn’t why I wrote the note and it was absolutely _not _the intention. But it is still _a thing that I felt at one time, _anyway.” She was staring intently down at her book, pretending to ignore the load of information she was dumping as she picked her words carefully. She wasn’t technically lying. She had had a crush when they first met. Did she still have one now? Perhaps. Though she would argue, not to Jake, that it was well beyond that. 

A full minute had passed in silence since Amy had spoken. She forced herself to lift her gaze. The anxiety was gnawing through her ribs and she couldn’t imagine why Jake wouldn’t have had a retort to that unless he’d walked away without her noticing.

He hadn’t. He was staring at her with what had to be the softest expression she’d ever seen on any one person. His eyes looked almost watery, as though he’d made a discovery that could change all of human history. The hope gleaming across his features was almost too much. She had to be projecting.

“You liked me?”

“I did.”

It took another full moment for him to respond again. He blinked away the look she’d stored away in her memory forever and suddenly the joking gaze was back on his features and she already knew he’d finally come up with at least 7 jokes to alleviate the situation. For once, she was grateful for it. She didn’t think she could deal with another minute of not knowing where this could end.

“Man, I liked you, you liked me. Imagine if our feelings had lined up. Did I almost date Amy Santiago?” He made a face, looking off into the distance for effect.

“At least you would have been lucky. I almost dated Jake Peralta.”

He laughed. It was short-lived and died out almost immediately. When it did, his head was bowed. “Yeah. Good thing that didn’t happen, then.”

"Yup. Very, very good."

It didn't feel very good. 


	30. Me and *enter name* Bout to Smash Back to IHop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to apologize for the accidental hiatus. I haven't queued up chapters and am posting as I write, but I haven't been writing so I haven't been posting. Life happened and all that jazz.   
In Good News: if I keep up at this rate, the final chapter will line up with the season its posted ((it's set on New Years Eve))

“_Ames. _I’m bored. What do you plan to do about it?”

He was leaned on a chair up against the counter, watching her stock shelves. She wasn’t entirely surprised he was there. He’d visited a couple times while she wasn’t there and this time he’d called ahead just before appearing at the window moments later. He’d propped himself immediately on the counter despite Amy’s protests and hadn’t moved until she wheeled Scully’s chair out for him. He rolled to the shelf Amy was stocking, bumped into the wall, shaking and knocking over the items she’d just lined up perfectly. She turned narrowed eyes on him as he slowly rolled away, stiff and guilty.

“I’m at work, Jake.”

“But I’m _boooored._”

“Jake.” Amy rolled her eyes as she pulled the knocked over lotion bottles off the shelves to restack.

He sighed heavily and slunk from his chair to the ground, his legs collapsing under him and a long, drawn-out groan leaving his throat until he was on his back with his limbs splayed out beneath him.

“You know, you don’t _have _to stay here.”

“Great.” He jumped up, pulling himself together like an elastic child’s toy. “Let’s go get lunch.”

“_Jake._ I have to stay. But you can go without me.” Amy finished lining up the lotions and pushed her cart to the next aisle. The candy was always a mess, though it was somehow less so since Jake had appeared and ransacked their stock. His jacket was lined with sour gummies and the backseat of his car would have been a mess had Amy not given him a box from the back room to tote them all in when he first arrived. Amy moved on to straightening and making a mental list of all the candy she needed to replenish.

Jake groaned much louder than was necessary and dropped his full weight back to the floor. “But I want you to go _with _me.”

Her heart thudded painfully against her ribs and she had to look away. “Then you’ll just have to wait.”

“Fiiiine.” He pulled himself back into the rolly chair and spun wildly around, knocking the chair lightly into the counter. “Can I at least choose the music?”

#

Jake skipped into the sunlight as though he’d never seen it before and it was something he didn’t complain about on the daily. His smile was as bright as the afternoon sun glaring in his eyes. He squinted up into the sky. Amy rolled her eyes at him, shutting the door behind them. The store was officially out of her hands for the afternoon, with nothing to do until classes the next day, aside from the large load of self-assigned homework and note copying.

She smiled over at Jake, eyes scrunched closed against the sun but still with his head back. The homework could wait.

“Where are we getting food?”

He turned his face to hers and opened his eyes. Once he did, a new smile broke out across his features. He was beaming and for a moment she could no longer feel the cool air raising the hair on her arms. She felt warm all over. Jake reached out a hand and took hers in his own, tangling their fingers together.

“I’m thinking pancakes. With _so much _chocolate.”

“Oooh, pancakes sound perfect.”

“Yeah?” He started walking, pulling her beside him with their interlocked hands swinging between them. They walked right by his car and kept going all the way to the diner several blocks away. Jake didn’t complain once on their walk, nor did he drop her hand until they were seated across from each other at the diner.

They smiled at each other, unsure where to pick up the conversation that had all but stopped on their walk.

“So,” Jake started, scratching at the side of his neck. “How was your day? Not that I was there for most of it or anything.”

“Honestly, it started out pretty rough. I couldn’t sleep last night and I woke up super late and was late to work.”

“Oh man. Wait. How late is super late to you?”

“I woke up five minutes before my shift.”

“Oh, _damn.” _He almost looked impressed at her irresponsibility and she wanted to feel insulted. “So when’d you get to work?”

He was leaning in, excited. The dread Amy had felt that morning was still sitting heavily on her chest and it didn’t so much lighten while Jake was speaking, but it certainly did something to it. She suddenly felt a lot more self-conscious about it.

“I was _eight minutes late._”

Jake stared at her. He blinked. He blinked again. His smile got wider and she knew he was already making fun of her in his head. “_Eight_ minutes, Ames? Wow. Just. Wow. And you still have your job?” He shook his head. “Incredible. Okay but how did you even get to work thirteen minutes after waking up? Your subway ride is longer than that.”

Amy shrugged. She’d long since given up explaining to people the wonders of organizing. And of memorizing the public transit schedules. “I’m just That Good.”

Jake gasped. “You’re a wizard.” The wonder in his eyes was very real and it made Amy’s heart pound. His hands came to rest over his menu. Amy watched his thumb rub the back of his other hand and wished it was her hand in his instead. He’d held her hand for ten minutes but it didn’t feel like enough to memorize every moment of it. They were rough and warm and she wanted so much to reach over and grab them both in her own. Instead she dropped her hands onto her lap and lifted her eyes to Jake’s face, still watching her intently.

The waitress walked by, collected their orders and their menus, and they lapsed into silence once more. After a beat, Jake cleared his throat.

“So, why couldn’t you sleep last night? I was texting you but you didn’t respond. I assumed you went to bed so I stopped messaging. If I’d known, I could’ve sent _you_ all my midnight thoughts instead of wasting them on the empty room. …I wasn’t talking to the room. Well, I was. It doesn’t matter. Why couldn’t you sleep?” He was floundering but his spirits never dropped, the smile still plastered on.

Amy watched his face, his goofy grin and concerned, squinted eyes. His hands were still resting on the table. She didn’t know how to tell him about the train of thoughts that went through her head while she was lying awake, pointedly ignoring the vibrating phone on her desk. Couldn’t explain every static-fizzing feeling in her gut and the cold vibration of her heart each time she heard a text come through and she had to hold back from responding for fear of what she might let slip. She couldn’t tell him how every time she closed her eyes, she thought of opening them to him lying next to her, arm around her like it was when she fell asleep on him. Or his hair pooled over his forehead, resting on her shoulder with his mouth propped open as she saw him when he was sick. She couldn’t exactly express accurately how she saw his peaceful sleeping face every time she closed her eyes lying in bed and how much she dreaded opening them to see he wasn’t there. Or how much worse it was trying to force those feelings down because they were _supposed to be friends. _

She thought of every time he had wrapped his arms around her shoulders or pulled her in for a hug or grabbed her hand or looked at her particularly long. The thoughts were hardly new. She’d had them consistently for months, even more so since she’d stopped denying her feelings. But they hadn’t kept her up at night like they did now. They didn’t ring around her head with _‘did I almost date Amy Santiago?’ _They didn’t have a backing of _‘I had a crush on you’_ mixed with _‘imagine if our feelings had lined up.’_

And they definitely didn’t have the softest expression in Jake’s shining, watery eyes when Amy admitted her feelings, past tense.

She couldn’t say any of that. And Jake was smiling at her, the corner of his lips twitching down the longer it took her to respond. His brows scrunched together and his head tilted to one side. Amy’s eyes hadn’t left his face.

Jake had liked her at some point. And she’d been through every interaction they’d ever had. She’d analyzed and she’d picked them apart and not one of them stood out as particularly feely. She’d thought and rethought every conversation and every glance and every smile. She still couldn’t figure out when his feelings were different and she certainly couldn’t find a marked difference to figure out when they’d changed. She hoped maybe she would know if the feelings were still there, but she had nothing to compare to. He seemed no different than he’d ever been.

They were friends. Best friends. But just friends. He had to feel that way. She was almost sure.

She could tell him. But they were doing so well. And they’d agreed it wasn’t for the best. So she smiled and shrugged and stared at her hands, splayed out on the table. “Just a lot of thoughts going through my head. That’s all.”

One of Jake’s hands reached across and covered hers. It was warm and the calluses were rough against the back of her hand but she would give anything for him to keep his hand there. The soft, sad smile crossed behind his eyes and didn’t quite seem to go away.

“I know I’m not good at emotions, Ames, but you can still talk to me.”

She smiled despite the thousands of thoughts wracking her brain. She couldn’t help it. He was smiling at her and worrying over her and even though every thought and concern and idea she was anxiously shoving down was to do with him, his hand on hers was warm and solid. And whether or not he ever returned her feelings, he was her best friend and he cared about her. She could live with that.

She lifted her hand and laced their fingers together, gaze intent on their interlocked hands, his thumb caressing one of her knuckles. She couldn’t see his face but she could feel his hand squeeze her own.

Yeah, she could live with this.


	31. How Long Has It Been? No Really I'm Asking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I Promise to Update This Fic. I Promise To Update this Fic. I Promise To UpdaTe. I Will Not Abandon it This Far In. I Will Not Abandon the Fic. 
> 
> I repeat to myself furiously as I force myself to write chapters.

The line was out the door when she showed up at Starbucks after work. Jake was nowhere to be seen which meant he was probably on his break, hiding from the crowd while Charles and Rosa floundered to get them in order. She got in line, pulling out her wallet for what felt like and probably was the first time all year. She caught Charles’ eye as he loudly and slowly explained again to a woman the ingredients of a drink off the menu. She offered a small wave and an eye-roll toward the woman and he smiled.

There were already three new people behind her when the door opened and Jake snuck by the line, his sweatshirt pulled over his apron, jacket tossed over his shoulder. He caught Amy watching and stuck his tongue at her. She thought he would disappear into the back room but he slipped into the line next to her and wrapped an arm around her waist in a too-brief side hug.

“Hey, Ames. I saw you here earlier. You left when I pulled up and I just,” he stopped speaking, a strangled noise emitting from his throat instead as he dramatically reached ahead of him. Amy laughed and nudged his shoulder with her own. He rocked back on his heels and slipped away from the line and into the back.

Amy stepped up to Charles’ register where he was smiling even wider since Jake walked in.

“Hey, Charles.”

“Amy. Trying something new today? Like admitting your feelings for Jake.”

Amy stared at him and blinked slowly. “I think I’ll stay with my usual, thanks.”

He sighed heavily. “How are you going to know what’s good for you if you never _try new things_? You have to _experience life, _Amy.” He opened his mouth to continue but withered under Amy’s glare. He held his hands in front of him in momentary defeat, having already given his say. He pulled up her drink and cleared it as she pulled out her card.

Amy’s jaw dropped open.

“Jake doesn’t charge you, I won’t either. You can go sit.”

She was beyond arguing over her payments. That fight has long since left her. She replaced the card in her wallet and went to her usual seat.

#

“Do you know we’ve known each other for a full year?”

She did know that. Down to the day. She didn’t think Jake knew, though. He had dropped all of the bulk order he’d been working on the last twenty minutes at the online order stand next to Amy’s seat and rather than move to his next order, he dropped to his elbows, leaning over the bar to drop his face next to her hands. He closed his eyes briefly, looking like he was ready to fall asleep. Amy passed her hand over Jake’s cheek, brushed the hair from his forehead. He blinked up at her, a soft smile edging at his lips. She pulled her hand back and he lifted his head off the counter, picking up his next drink order as he moved.

“One year since my bike broke down and I had to sit and wait out a cab. That night was so stressful.”

“Yeah but you got _me_ out of it – _my friendship_, I mean...” His eyes went wide as he stumbled over his words. He turned around and the whirring of the latte machine cut off any response from Amy. He placed the drink on the pick-up counter and wandered slowly back to her. He pulled at his apron, adjusting a star pin. He gestured at it then, lifted his head to make sure Amy was looking. “Oh, look, I’m a star!”

She sighed but she was smiling. “Of course you are, Jake.”

“My mom tells me I am.”

She shook her head and dropped her eyes to her once-more-forgotten book. Her hand ran over the cover. It was a year and a day from their meeting. Not that she’d kept track, but it was on her calendar. Only because she’d marked it in her journal. Not that she was rereading her time with Jake. She just knew the date. It wasn’t weird.

“So what’s with the star?”

“_I _made employee of the quarter.”

Amy shot forward maybe a little too quickly. Her cup shook, nearly tumbling over if she hadn’t grabbed it with her other hand to stabilize it. Her eyes had jumped open and her mouth gaped.

“_You did?_”

“No, turns out you can just buy these pins anywhere. But for a moment you were just _that much _more attracted to me.” He sighed wistfully. “I wish I could be that man for you, Ames.” A shake of the head. “Alas, I am not. But I’m keeping the star.” He seemed too proud of himself to mind that she was rolling her eyes heavily at him. He reached into his apron pocket and held his fist out face up in front of her. He was still smiling. “Do you want one? I could only buy them in bulk so I have like three more.”

Amy shook her head, confused for the umpteenth time how she could be so attracted to someone who took hard work so lightly and so easily disrespected the hard-earned awards of a job well done.

She pinned the star under her collar, making a mental note to move it to her bag when she got home.

#

Amy went home for Thanksgiving. She told Jake she wouldn’t be able to message him all day because she had family things to do. He’d told her he understood, but that didn’t stop him from sending text after text after photo after text. He was up bright and early with a Good Morning text at 8:05 and a follow-up message at 8:15 with commentary about the Thanksgiving meal the lady on the TV was making. The photo he sent of his Poptart covered in Toaster Strudel icing made Amy’s teeth hurt.

She didn’t even have to watch the parade to enjoy it with how much information he sent her. She _did _watch it, and she responded in kind to every strange holiday commercial and all of the outfits the performers and parade walkers wore.

**Text From: Jake**

_I wanna be a Macy’s clown_

**Text To: Jake **

_ They’re all volunteer Macy’s employees. _

**Text From: Jake**

_So what youre saying is Thats an achievable goal. _

**Text To: Jake **

_All you need is a friend or family member working at a Macy’s location to sponsor you.  
They’ll give you classes on clowning._

**Text From: Jake **

_so what youre saying is you need to start providing for this relationship and get work a t macys _

Lunch with her family was no more hectic than usual. She had to hide her phone in her room in order to ignore the incessant vibrating. That didn’t mean she wasn’t thinking about it throughout the two hour dinner. Plates broke and competitions were lost by all parties when they had all consumed too much alcohol and reached volume levels too high to keep track of the winner anyway.

After a fight too many, in which a single spoon of potato was tossed by a mystery party, Amy’s father declared it was Walk Time. This meant that everyone was kicked out of the house until further notice to go for a brisk walk to sober up and calm down. Amy grabbed her phone and headphones as she was pulling on her jacket.

Jake answered on the second ring.

“How’s the family?”

“We’ve been evicted. So better than usual, really. How’s your Thanksgiving?”

“You already heard about the parade.”

Amy picked up her pace. She and her brothers were all walking the same path, blocks apart. David, of course, was at the front of the line. She normally tried to keep up with him but for once she wasn’t interested. The sooner she caught up, the sooner she gets home, the sooner she hangs up. The phone remained cradled in her mittened hands, shoved deep into her jacket pocket. Her headphones were tucked inside her hat. All she could feel was cold. All she could hear was Jake.

“Doesn’t your family celebrate?”

“Nah. My dad hasn’t been around in years and my mom was always too busy for tradition. Gina’s at her mom’s. It’s just me and I got nothing but the game. I’m still in pjs.” She heard the change in his voice, the tilted tone, the higher pitched ending. “Do you remember pjs, Ames? They’re warm and safe and soft.”

She could feel the stinging in her cheeks and bone-chilling wind on what little skin was out. The sun was still up and it hadn’t snowed in about a week, but Amy wasn’t one to argue with the weather. It was cold and it was only going to get colder. She could taste the frozen air and it scalded her throat. The scarf wrapped around her mouth and neck provided little assistance from the chill that had entered her bones and frozen her to her very being. Mostly it muffled her voice on the phone, which was why the headphones were wrapped between her undershirt and her sweater, the mic sitting by her mouth.

“I could hang up right now, Jake.”

“You wouldn’t hang up on–”

Amy swiped the button from within her pocket before he finished speaking. She didn’t get three sidewalk squares away before it was ringing again.

“Point proven. _Good for you, _Amy.” His voice was bitter but she could hear him struggling not to laugh. “Please don’t hang up again. I’m _so _bored.”

She did eventually hang up an hour later once she and her brothers, all at a safe distance from each other, had walked the entire surrounding neighborhood. Amy felt a level of cold she thought she would never rid herself of. She would be cold for all eternity and she would know it was because of that walk.

She felt better after she put on another 2 sweaters and sat in front of the fire with a hot cup of coco. She arranged to call Jake at night once things settled down and, hours later with a third mug of coco and an added blanket, Amy called him from her room. He sounded as though he’d already slept himself into a snack coma and was physically pulling himself out of it to speak with her.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

They didn’t speak for a minute, neither worried nor filling the space with aimless chatter, only relishing in the feel of another body in the room with them. Amy listened to his breathing and felt him sitting there with her.

“It’s supposed to snow tomorrow.”

“You should come to my holiday party.”

Amy blinked. She wasn’t sure she’d heard him correctly but no matter how many times he confirmed, Amy just kept drifting away some where and how. “Excuse me?”

“Come to my holiday party. Or I should say “our holiday party.” Rosa and Charles will be there, too. And Terry. Maybe a couple others. Really, Gina’s throwing it. Or we’re invading her apartment and throwing it ourselves. The specifics of blame haven’t been decided yet. It’s next month. But you should come.”

“Oh.”

There was silence on both ends. Amy could hear her heart beating in her ears. Without opening her mouth, she knew the air was gone and not a sound would come out if she tried. She was strangled but she wasn’t searching for air. Her blood hammered in her chest and face and hands. She nearly dropped her mug.

Jake wanted her to hang out with him. That shouldn’t be new information. They hung out plenty. But a party. With his friends. With other people she knew but didn’t know if she could consider them friends or not. She called them her friends but they didn’t talk outside of the store and they didn’t hang out and they didn’t really talk _in _the store, either. Jake’s closest friends. Jake’s childhood best friend’s apartment. With Jake. At a party. If she went to this party, did that make them all friends? She knew she’d called them that but this would make it official. She would officially have befriended the entire Starbucks staff.

She didn’t know how long she’d been silent. Jake hadn’t so much as taken a breath.

“You don’t have to. If you don’t want to. You know what,” he was rambling. Amy could assume his face and ears were bright red. If he were in front of her, his hands would be waving and he’d be looking anywhere but at her. “Never mind, don’t worry about it. Forget I even said anything. It’s dumb.”

She forced her way through the airless space around her to find a voice that didn’t sound like her own. “It’s up to you.”

Amy could hear him suck in a sharp breath of air. She wished she could find her own.

“You’ll come?”

He sounded so small. So hopeful. She couldn’t begin to imagine why. “Yeah, of course.”

“Cool. Cool, cool, cool.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We really are coming up on an ending soon. I'd say 3-4 more chapters? At the most? So I must ask, totally not because I'm running on empty and need filler, does anyone have anything they hope to see before this ends? Any questions unanswered or loose ends needing tied?


	32. What is a Date But Two Awkward Friends Not Admitting Their Full Feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Life is Hectic™ right now what with the holidays and I'm moving in 4 days, as yet unpacked and not at all ready to go BUT instead of packing I spent 8 hours writing this nice long chapter for all of you. So Happy Holidays to All.

“Amy! I hear you’re coming to the party as Jake’s date!”

Amy’s heart stopped. She slowly lifted her gaze to the register. The door chimed closed behind her. Charles stood next to Rosa, a wide beaming grin on his face and narrowed eyes on hers. Rosa’s hand shot out and connected with Charles’ shoulder. He fell back a step and grabbed at his arm, his eyes watery in shock.

Amy looked back to the door.

“No. No.” Rosa was around the bar in seconds, grabbing Amy’s arm and dragging her to her usual seat. “I’ve been listening to him all day. I need other people. _He_ can leave.” She turned her stare on Charles and he was out of the room before she could say more. Once gone, Rosa set about making Amy’s drink and placed it in front of her without another word. Her shoulders slumped and she looked more at ease, as though she had finally let out a breath of air she’d been holding all month.

Amy felt tense. She tried to breathe it out. It didn’t work. “Did Jake call me his date?”

“No.” She could hear Rosa’s rolled eyes. She walked around the bar and sat in the stool next to her. Amy didn’t understand how that was allowed but she figured Rosa was too scary to argue with. She slumped over the counter and Amy tried to act less tense. She failed. Rosa had the decency to pretend to ignore it. “Jake’s too dumb for that. But he talked about you coming for twenty minutes. Worst Halloween ever.”

“He invited me on Thanksgiving?”

“We know. That was another hour.”

Amy leaned back in her chair. She held her hand out in front of her, looked at the back of her hand, her nails, tugged at her sleeves. He waited a month to invite her. He spent a month thinking about it. Maybe he wasn’t going to invite her.

“That’s dumb.”

Amy jumped. She didn’t think she’d said anything aloud. She looked to Rosa, eyes wide.

“Your feelings are all over your face. Jake likes you but this isn’t a date. He’s way too scared for that.” She stretched her arms in front of her and popped her back. She ran her hands through her hair, pulled it back, and stood up to return to her position behind the register. “We mostly get drunk and watch movies since some of us have work in the morning. Bring snacks. Or booze. And don’t mind Charles. None of us do.”

Amy felt her heart beat slow and the air return to her lungs. She rested her head on her arms and took in the comforting scent of her drink. It was just a party. With friends. Rosa was a friend. Charles was… something. And Jake would be there. It would be fine.

#

She waited outside her own store, checking her watch as though the time was going to magically pass and make Jake appear. She didn’t know where Gina’s apartment was so he suggested the two of them going together. He did invite her, after all, and she would feel better not showing up alone. She would probably be on time if she went on her own, seeing as how Jake was already ten minutes late.

She changed outfits at work since it made more sense than going home to do it and so was wearing what felt slightly out of the ordinary for her. She couldn’t decide on what to wear, it being a party but also what seemed to be a casual party, possibly with a small group sitting around on a couch. She was sure Jake would be in his usual attire, but it felt odd to wear a pantsuit to this. She was wearing a loose, patterned dress and, because it was December and freezing out, she had on leggings and a sweater, along with her jacket and scarf. It sounded like more than it felt. She’d been outside for almost twenty minutes and she was shaking.

She debated, not for the first time, going back into the store and waiting there but she was afraid Jake would think she’d forgotten or left if she wasn’t waiting outside, as is polite.

His old, beaten car rounded the corner and pulled up slowly in front of her. Jake was jumping out and running around to her side almost before the car had stopped. He _was _in jeans, but they were black and they at least appeared to be clean. He was beaming hesitantly at her as he opened the passenger side door. She slid inside and immediately noticed how it didn’t smell like cheese doodles and old soda anymore. Instead it smelled warm and comforting, somehow like childhood joy.

Amy shivered as the cold air once again hit her face when Jake slid in the driver’s side. He reached in between them and handed her the warm cup sitting there. She immediately pulled it to her chest and breathed in. “Sorry I’m late. I knew you’d be cold since you always are so I stopped off and got you hot chocolate to make up for it.”

In the comparative warmth of the car, Amy was able to relax for once and she smiled over at Jake only to find him already staring at her. There was some feeling in his eyes and all over his face that she couldn’t place but made her stomach flutter. She raised her brow in question and he coughed, blinked, and remembered to start the car.

“You look great,” he said, looking back for a brief moment.

She smiled and felt her face flush. “Thanks.”

“You excited to spend an entire evening with Charles? It can get intense but if you pretend you can’t see him, eventually he’ll go away.”

“He’s… passionate.”

He turned a serious look on her. “Please don’t use that word in front of him. No one wants to hear about his _‘passions’_. Trust me.”

They talked about work for most of the drive. Amy had been at the store all day stocking and restocking shelves. A lot of people wandered in for holiday shopping. And Jake’s customer service stories were always intense and usually ended in an older woman yelling in his face. They were well into three separate stories by the time Jake started looking for parking. Five minutes later and he was looking agitated.

“Well, Ames. Looks like we’re walking. I’m sorry, you’re just gonna have to freeze.” He was joking but he genuinely looked apologetic. “You can take my jacket.”

“No, Jake. You need that. I’ll be fine.” She opened the door and stepped out. She was not fine.

His jacket was being draped over her shoulders before she realized what was happening. The warmth and familiarity of it quite literally wrapped around her. She pulled it closer to her. She heard Jake laugh but she wasn’t paying much attention until his arm fell over her shoulder and she was leaning into his chest. Then her heart thrummed and she found herself leaning further into the warmth radiating off him. One of her hands came to cling to the side of his sweatshirt. She felt so much better.

They walked like that all the way to Gina’s building, only parting once they were outside of her apartment door. Jake’s arm slid off her shoulders awkwardly as he pushed the door open without knocking. Amy stood horrified in the doorway long after Jake had made his entrance, loudly proclaiming his presence. He popped his head back out into the hall, staring wide-eyed and expectantly at her. “Having second thoughts?”

“You just… walked in.”

“Gina doesn’t “welcome” people into her home, so if you’re waiting on that, you better get comfy out here.”

Her mind boggled but she followed him inside. Terry was lounging across one couch, positioned to watch the TV, but he waved at Amy as she came in. “Hey! Glad to see Jake finally invited you to one of these parties.”

Amy smiled politely at him and turned to find Jake making aggressive hand motions at Terry. He stopped and looked guiltily innocent, his hands dropped behind his back. Then he turned and wandered off to what Amy assumed was the kitchen by the loud commentary she heard coming from Charles. Rather than follow him in, afraid of looking like a lost child clinging to her parent so early on, she hesitantly sat on the other couch.

Barely a moment passed before Rosa hurdled over the back of the couch, landing slouched over at Amy’s side. She nudged Amy’s side with her elbow, brow raised, and Amy finally relaxed into the cushion, her shoulder against Rosa’s.

“You make a move on Jake yet?”

Amy blanched. Her gaze shot to Terry pretending not to hear their conversation. He might not have been pretending. Rosa was being pretty quiet. But Amy kept her eyes on him anyway.

She dropped her voice as low as it would go. “No. And I’m not going to. He’s my friend.”

“Best friend, I heard.”

She was wiggling her eyebrows suggestively and Amy was taken aback by the show of emotion. When she didn’t respond immediately, Rosa rolled her eyes, a motion with which Amy was much more familiar and comfortable.

“Come on, man. We all see it. Jake’s obsessed with you. And you haven’t missed a day in months.” Amy was about to protest but Rosa beat her to it. “_And _I know you went over there when the dummy got food poisoning.”

Amy stopped breathing. She didn’t know why. Nothing happened. It was a normal thing to do. “How do you know that?”

“Cause I got a string of texts from Jake about it.”

The phone was dropped in her lap and Amy was reading before she made the conscious decision to do so. She kept reading to the end.

**Text From: Jake **

_ Roooooosaaaa _

_ rosa ohmygod i think amys comin ovr ??_

_ she askd my adress nd i think shes on her way _

_ im not presentable, shes gonna think im a slob_

**Text To: Jake **

_ So she’ll be right _

**Text From: Jake**

_Very funny._

_ whatdoido shes gonna b here any secnd nd im in boxers_

_ shell never love me like this _

**Text To: Jake**

_You can start by putting on pants. _

**Text From: Jake**

_good call _

_ shes here , oh god im gonna screw up gotta go love you byyeeeee_

She stopped reading. The messages continued on but she couldn’t sit there going through every message. It hurt too much. “God, his grammar is atrocious.”

“Yup.”

Amy slumped over. She hesitated before she dared touch Rosa, but she dropped her head onto her shoulder anyway. She tensed for half a second but didn’t push her off or threaten her. Amy supposed that was a sign of friendship with Rosa. She wondered how many people managed to touch Rosa and not get assaulted. She felt like the number was very small.

“We’re just friends. We can’t… he said he _had _a crush. Past tense. It’s over. It’s behind us.”

“Yeah, and I heard you _had _a crush, too. Past tense.”

Amy’s eyes widened. She hadn’t said that to anyone but Jake. He really was out there telling everyone everything. She hadn’t even told Kylie about her feelings. She hadn’t said them explicitly out loud anyhow. She was sure they were obvious in how much she talked about him in the last few months. “The thing here is: We are friends. Nothing more. We’re good as friends. I don’t want to change that and make it weird.”

Rosa shrugged, obviously tired of how long they’d been talking about this already. “Whatever, man.” She stood up and offered Amy a hand. Amy followed her to the kitchen. “But you’re the one in his favorite jacket.”

Charles was ecstatic to see her. He grabbed her straight away and pulled her into a long, tight hug. She squirmed out of it, stumbling a bit, and grabbed the counter for balance. Gina made a face at both Amy and Charles before offering a bottle to Amy. It was rum. Amy stared at the bottle too long and Gina offered it instead to Jake who took a swig straight from the bottle. He then offered it to Amy.

She cringed. That couldn’t be sanitary. She felt every eye on her. Jake’s hand began to slowly move to the next person, a reassuring smile aimed her way. She grabbed it from his hand and took a swig.

“We finally get to see Amy drunk!” Gina yelled, louder than necessary. “And for her first time!”

Amy scrunched her nose and mouth. “I’ve had alcohol.”

Jake’s shoulder bumped against hers and he was smiling at her again, wide and just happy to be there with her. She was vaguely aware of conversation going on around them but as she didn’t know who it was about, she tried not to listen. They were mostly talking about coworkers and some regular customers. She glanced around at the group. Terry had joined them off the couch. They all acted so familiarly around each other. Every one of their movements was familiar and relaxed. It felt like a big family and she had one, so she would know. She somehow felt both very out of the loop but also completely as though she belonged there. Charles and Rosa even occasionally made references to things she was around for and looked to her for backup on their stories.

They moved into the living room when the food arrived. Chinese takeout was split amongst them on paper plates, cups were filled with various liquors and sodas, and everyone piled onto the couches. Amy was squeezed in between Jake and Charles. Rosa somehow got her own seat and Gina dragged out what looked to be the most comfortable chair for herself once everyone else had claimed a seat.

Amy’d shed Jake’s jacket and it was tossed over the back of the couch.

“SO. What are we watching? It has to be a holiday movie.”

“OH! I KNOW!” Jake’s voice rang in Amy’s ear. He looked apologetic but not really. His mouth flattened into a straight line and one eye widened. Amy thought she was shocked by Jake’s outburst, she was much more taken aback by the practiced collective response.

“Not Die Hard.”

He grumbled and crossed his arms, accidentally elbowing Amy in the process. After much argument, they agreed on Love Actually, backed even by Rosa which startled them all. Jake refilled his and Amy’s drinks while Gina set up the film. He shifted around on the couch, trying to find room mashed between Amy and the arm of the sofa. He moved to lean heavily to the side but by the time Colin Firth finds out his girlfriend is cheating on him, Jake’s arm has dropped around Amy’s shoulder and she’s shifted into his side. Charles squeaked when it happened but Jake’s arm was in the perfect position to smack him across the back of the head.

Rosa was both too far and too terrifying to hit when she snorted. Amy tried not to pay them any mind and was mostly successful if only because all she could pay attention to was Jake’s warm arm around her neck, his hand drumming patterns on her shoulder, his steady heart beat next to her ear, and later his cheek pressed against her hair.

Jake threw out comment after comment throughout the movie, along with the rest of them, but he never moved from his position. Amy was happy for it. She enjoyed being pressed up against his side, especially given Charles on her other side, physically vibrating from excitement.

“Alan Rickman wasn’t even interested in cheating. He didn’t realize what was happening.”

“That doesn’t mean he _wasn’t _cheating.”

“His intentions mean nothing if what he did was wrong.”

“Of course, yeah, but did he _really even _cheat? He just gave her a necklace.”

“Yeah, a necklace he hid from his wife.”

“If they just normalized polyamory, this wouldn’t be an issue.”

“Do we have pie?”

They all made their way to the kitchen, once more circled around the island with platters of cookies and cakes. Amy brought a box of cookies, store-bought, and they were already mostly gone. More alcohol made the rounds as they sat and chatted.

“So,” Jake started, cramming a cookie whole into his mouth. “What’d everyone get me for Christmas?”

Gina rolled her eyes. “You don’t celebrate Christmas, loser.”

“I still want presents,” he whined, slumping. “Fine. What’d you all get me for Chanukah?” Everyone was silent but for the snickering. They shook their heads at him and he gaped. “Come _on._ Someone got me a gift, right? Charles, I _know you got me something._ Fine. Ames.” He turned to her, expectant. “_Come on. _Ames. You got me something, right? Last year we weren’t even friends and you gave me my best tip ever.”

Everyone turned to stare at them, questioningly. She flushed. She wasn’t sure if Jake had told anyone. She hadn’t been sure at the time whether he’d mention it. She’d left a tip for the others, just not as large and not individually. He deserved that money for all the money he’d saved her.

“Amy gave me _fifty dollars _last year. As a _tip.”_

All of the baristas looked approvingly at Amy. Terry nodded, offered a “_damn, _Amy.”

She shrugged, suddenly feeling a lot more proud. She knew it was a good gift. She was happy with it when she gave it to him.

“Who says you’re getting another gift?”

That was a lie. She’d had his gift for a month already.

He grumbled and stormed back into the living room, a plate of cookies and a full pie in his hands. They all followed him, in higher spirits than his. Charles and Rosa were still commenting about the movie. “They never mentioned they were going on a trip. Why were they all at the airport? Where were they all coming from on the same day?”

“They don’t _have _to mention a trip, Rosa. It’s about the _romance._” 

“But the _plot, _Charles.”

Amy was smiling. She never thought she would feel a part of this group but they’d all accepted her and pulled her in to the family with open arms. The usual feeling of excitement and happiness she felt whenever she was around Jake was tripled as she stood among his friends.

“Hey!” Amy was stalled from following them to the living room by Gina’s hand on her arm. “Jake’s friend. Melissa. We have to talk.”

“It’s Amy.”

“Whatever. You should change it. You and I need to talk.”

Amy glanced at her, startled. She turned in the direction of the room where everyone went off to, turned back to Gina. She looked bored. Amy stepped back to walk further into the kitchen with her.

“What’s up?”

“You need to make the first move.”

Amy’s heart skipped a beat. She tried to speak but the words didn’t come out. She felt like a fish, gaping at her, breathless.

“I’m being nice today ‘cause it’s the one time a year I’m required. Jake’s my best friend and while I love to see him miserable, I also want him to bother someone else for once. And I guess he’d be happy.” She rolled her eyes and shrugged her shoulders to show that that last bit had no part in her reasoning. Her eyes kept darting to the next room but no one seemed to be budging in there.

Amy was lost. She’d already listened to this from Rosa, so she knew what it was about. But she just couldn’t see it. She and Jake were affectionate and cared about each other but it couldn’t be more than that. If they liked each other, they would know it. Surely they wouldn’t be as dumb as his friends all thought they were. If Jake liked her back, they’d have figured that out and talked it out by now. They were “ruiny”, for sure, but they weren’t that inept.

It was a little disconcerting how many of them seemed frustrated by it, though.

“Look,” Amy started, rubbing her arm with her other hand and backing away towards the safety of society. She was vaguely excited when Gina said she wanted to talk in private, but this wasn’t what she had in mind. “Nothing is going on between us. I’m his friend.”

“I _know. _That’s the _whole problem, _Amelia.”

“It’s really just Amy.”

“God, you’re just as dumb as Jake.”

Amy’s jaw dropped. Her eyes scrunched up. She almost wanted to stamp her foot, she felt so much like a frustrated child. She noticed her arms were crossed and so uncrossed them. Her hands hung in fists at her sides. Her back straightened. “I am not– I’m smart!”

“Not defending Jake there, huh.”

Amy shrugged somewhat guiltily. “Well.”

“Ouch.”

Amy and Gina spun around to the doorway to see Jake leaning against the doorframe. He was smiling at them so it didn’t seem he’d heard the rest of the conversation. Only the parts insulting him, which Amy could live with. He could do to be taken down a peg.

“Come on, we’re turning on The Year Without A Santa Claus and doing shots every time Charles makes commentary.”

Amy hurriedly followed Jake out. She grabbed the bag she stowed off to the side on the way out. They dropped onto couches and floor space, all with shot glasses ready and the movie set up. Amy slid a new bottle of vodka.

Rosa grabbed it right away and popped it open. “Yess, Amy’s comin’ through.” She downed a shot before they started, pouring up for everyone. They clinked glasses and hit play. In the 50 minutes it took the movie to play, Charles spoke so much they had to give up the game for the safety of them all. They all sang along with every song, Amy wiggling a dance from her seat on the ground. Amy slammed passed her fourth drink, slamming down two shots at once when she felt herself drifting closer to Jake. She couldn’t handle that right now, what with the conversations she’d already fielded that night. Jake and Rosa nodded in approval without a word of explanation.

She was lying flat on her back on the floor when Jake nudged her. They all slowly collapsed to different surfaces and couches. Gina and Rosa were stretched across either end of one couch, legs tangled together and a blanket tossed over the two of them. Charles was still watching movies, sleepily commenting in slurred words. Terry had already packed up and said goodbye to everyone. Jake crouched on the ground next to Amy, nudging her shoulder. She sat up and he offered her a glass of water which she accepted happily.

“Come on, Ames. I’m takin’ you home.”

“You drank _hic _just as much. You can’t d_ri_ve.”

“I’m not.” He placed a hand on her lower back, supporting her as he pulled her to her feet. She stumbled and grabbed his arm, wrapped her hands around his bicep to keep herself steady. Her head swam. She shut her eyes and pressed her head into his chest. He only laughed. “Called an uber. I’ll get my car t’morrow,”

“You could… you could stay here, I’ll just go.” She didn’t see a point in him having to make two trips for this. She would rather be in her own apartment in the morning. She could see the still tipsy exhaustion in his lidded eyes and drooping cheeks. Even his jaw was moving slowly.

“No way. Ima see you home safe. No arguing.” He draped his coat over Amy’s shoulders and with her still clinging to his arm, they hobbled out together, both steadying the other. The car is waiting on the curb and they fall in, not caring which seat is whose. They’re nearly asleep when they pull up to Amy’s apartment.

Jake pulls her out of the car and supports her all the way to her door. He holds her up as she unlocks the door and stumbles in beside her. She pours two glasses of water and they each down them, slowly. Amy thinks of her bed, not far away from her. She thinks of falling in bed and curling under a nest of blankets. Her head droops on her shoulders. She doesn’t even register when Jake walks towards the door until the latch clicks.

“Wait, Jake.” She doesn’t know what she’s saying. Her mouth just opened and words came out. But she doesn’t want him to disappear. She’s too tired to register the change in social atmosphere. Being alone sounds too quiet. “What’re you doing?”

He doesn’t know where she’s headed either. “Calling an uber. You’re safe. I can go.” He scratched the back of his neck.

“You’re leaving your jacket.” She gestured with her shoulder to the leather jacket still hanging from her shoulders. “You can stay here. If you want.”

“Oh.” He blinked and bit down on his bottom lip. “Only if it’s okay with you. I wouldn’t wanna bother you.”

“Jake. I’m offering.” She yawned and could only think about how much she wanted her bed. It was probably warm and comforting. She’d never missed a bed more than in that moment. The sooner he agreed, the sooner she could crawl into her warm sleep. Maybe it’d be weird if she thought something could happen. But they were exhausted and they were friends and there’s nothing weird about sharing a bed because she _just wanted to sleep, Jake. _

“Ya. Yeah, okay. Sure.” He was still rubbing his neck. He looked as exhausted as she felt. His eyes dropped to the counter and his ears were flushed. She couldn’t tell if it was from the alcohol or something else. Amy put both their water glasses in the sink and started towards her room. He hung back. “I’ll just crash on the couch.”

“What? No, no. You can sleep in the bed with me. It’s no big deal. Unless you want me to take the couch.” She hoped they both took the couch. It was so warm. Her quilts were so soft and homey and familiar and comfortable and _wow _she was hoping he took her first option.

He nodded, shook his head, then nodded harder. “No, yeah, of course. That’s fine.”

He followed her to her room, watched her carefully drape his jacket over her desk chair. She pulled out a second paid of sweatpants and a t-shirt, pushed it at his chest, and sent him to change. They were wearing almost identical pajamas. Amy was already wrapped up tightly in her blankets, lights off, sinking into the mattress and pillows. Her eyes were closed and the three blankets over her radiated heat. She could feel the world spinning around her but she didn’t care.

Jake hesitantly pulled the blankets down. Amy shrunk back at the cold air but found herself inching closer once he was settled. She was already so warm but somehow he was even warmer. It wasn’t the largest bed. It was big enough to hold two, but they were still side by side. She nudged his shoulder with her arm.

“Thanks for inviting me today, Jake.”

“Thanks for coming, Ames. I love hanging out with you.”

“Me, too.”

She was on her side, facing him though her eyes were closed. She felt him shift a little closer to her, then a little more. She pressed her forehead against his arm under the blankets. He shifted again, turning on his side, and Amy rolled closer without meaning to. He was so warm and she was so tired, her brain still slow and dazed from the alcohol. Her hand was on his arm and her face pressed into his shoulder when she felt herself slipping away.

Jake mumbled something but all she made out was her name before she was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the suggestions, they have been MUCH help. My notes are super convoluted and everywhere and I forgot so many of my ideas. So thank you all who left suggestions and ideas, and thanks to all for the general support and kind words. I'm moving out of my parents house this week and with Christmas and Hannukah and work and moving prep, I haven't had time to write so the next chapter will hopefully be out before January but the story definitely won't be finished by then.   
Thanks again


	33. Presents are Presents Because You Are Present to Receive Them

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks all for sticking around. I moved into a new house almost 2 weeks ago but the internet didn't get installed till this morning. So I laid around for a week feigning dead but now that I've had a sandwich and watched 6 hours of Ducktales, we can get back to this.

Amy wakes up with the sun. For once, she wished she didn’t make routine of getting up so early. She stuffed down her usual habits and pulled the blanket further over her head when she became too aware of the Earth spinning under her. Her body was floating and there was nothing for her to grab onto and her _head hurt like she was hit, oh god. _She tried to ignore it all, rolled over into the warmer middle of her bed, and felt a weight on her back shift. It didn’t feel like her comforter.

She shifted her hip to knock whatever it was out of place and whatever it was simply rolled over her waist and held on a little tighter. She peered a single eye open in front of her and regretted it immediately. She was under the blankets and couldn’t see anything but it somehow still hurt. She jammed her eyes closed again and groaned.

The warmth next to her rolled over.

Amy reached an arm out and laid a hand on Jake’s chest. He rolled again to move into her touch. A low groan muffled into his pillow. He was on his stomach, face down, his arm draped over her in an attempt to spread out across the bed. He was breathing lightly, slight murmurs leaving his mouth as he licked his lips. His eyes squeezed tight against the line of light glancing over his eyelids.

He looked so sweet asleep. She’d say relaxed if not for the dreams still creasing his forehead. He was right next to her, so close in the cramped bed. The hand that was on his chest pulled out from between him and the mattress and instead rested on his sleeping face. The wrinkles and creases relaxed and softened the moment she came in contact. She felt her hand fit perfectly right there, on his cheek. It dropped to his jaw to rest just below his ear.

Amy’s head hurt too much to deal with this. Her breath quickened, chest tight, and she was suddenly very aware of the suffocating, dry nausea sitting in her throat. Her hand ripped away, her entire body leaping off the bed to race to the bathroom where she collapsed over the toilet. Nothing came out, though her tongue was suddenly very damp and tasted like bile. She rested her forehead on the backs of her hands and took a single, deep, shaky breath in.

Jake’s hand rubbed circles over her back.

She wanted to ask when he’d gotten there but she assumed she woke him up when she jumped so suddenly. She could see him out of the corner of one eye, through her hands. He squatted next to her, balanced on the balls of his feet, and was smiling lazily at her.

“’m glad you’re enjoying this.”

“Hey, I’m just happy I’m here to take care of you. If I’d gone home like I was gonna, you’d be all alone right now.” There was something soft in his voice that she wasn’t familiar with and couldn’t recognize in her current state. He sounded almost proud. And caring. “I’ll be _right_ back.” She missed his hand, warm and grounding, when he stood up and left the room. But he was back not a moment later, holding a glass of water which she accepted almost hungrily. Her throat burned.

They sat a while longer in her bathroom. Once she felt confident enough, she shuffled on her knees away from the toilet and pressed her back against the cold wall. Jake was next to her and he wrapped an arm around her, let her rest her head on his chest as he rubbed soothing patterns into her upper arm. She pressed her nose into the side of his neck and closed her eyes. She could feel him humming.

After about twenty minutes, her shaky breaths became less about her hangover and more about her closeness to Jake and the way he smelled and how comfortable she was in his arms. She sat up straight and she could swear she heard the pitch in his humming change. He stood up with her and they each made their way to the kitchen.

“I’m going to make you breakfast.”

She wanted to protest but she also really didn’t want to have to cook. “Nooo, you don’t have to do that.”

“I don’t,” he said, smiling at her. “But I want to. Go sit on the couch. I’ll bring it to you.”

He managed to make the exact scrambled eggs and bacon her body needed and she was able to sit up and watch cartoons with him by the time she was finishing her breakfast. She pushed the plate to the middle of the table, unable to consider standing long enough to put it in the kitchen. She drooped into the cushions, a blanket stolen from her bed wrapped around her arms and over her legs that were tucked up to her chest. She could see Jake watching her, probably laughing at her. Rather than give him the satisfaction of acknowledging her current weakened state just so he could make fun of her more, she leaned heavily to the side, dropping her weight onto Jake and trapping his arm at his side.

He made a squeaky noise of displeasure as he wriggled his arm out from under her. She was almost startled when he draped it right over her again, though, tucked behind her head, and pulled her closer to him. She rested her head on his chest and didn’t think about how much she enjoyed the sensation of being in his arms.

“So,” Jake started after a while, “how are you topping last year’s gift?” He sucked in a breath, gasping as dramatically as he could manage. “Did you rob a bank for me???”

Amy rolled her eyes and pressed her forehead against his side so that he squirmed. “No, I didn’t rob a bank for you, idiot.”

He stared down at her, mouth gaping. “Do you even care about me?”

She rolled her eyes.

“I’m joking. You don’t have to get me anything. You know,” he spoke as though he were about to teach her a grand lesson in wisdom, enunciating each word. “Your presence is gift enough. That is why they call it The Present.” He was grinning down at her even before she could elicit a loud enough groan to merit how awful she felt that was. “Also I’m supes broke and don’t celebrate Christmas.”

“You celebrate Hanukkah. I can give you a gift for that.”

“We didn’t really do Hanukkah gifts. It’s more like ‘Remember that time we were enslaved? Here’s some potato pancakes. Don’t let it happen again.’”

She jabbed him in the side with a finger. “Well I can give you a gift just for being my friend. Or because I want to. You’re getting a gift and it’s already purchased and wrapped and really well thought out.”

He let out a deep breath. “Oh, thank God. I really wanted a present.” He laughed and hugged her closer, dropped his chin onto the top of her head. “We’ll do an exchange one day. I have a gift for you, too.”

Her heart felt like it was frozen in icicles. She shivered. “Aw, Jake. You didn’t have to do that.”

His head drooped to one side and she was sure he’d closed his eyes. She felt him shrug. His whole voice sounded like a sigh. “I’m just amazing like that.”

#

Jake went home not long after. He had to pick up his car before work and Amy wanted to crawl back into bed until her hangover fully passed. They agreed on a day to exchange gifts. Amy immediately put it in her calendar. Since Hanukkah lined up with Christmas, they agreed on an early dinner meeting on the first night, just after their shifts, before Amy had to head home for the holidays.

He picked her up from work, waited outside while she locked up. He was leaning on the hood of his car, pretending to be casual despite the beaming smile and bright, glistening eyes. He was in a clean shirt, though it was barely visible under his usual sweatshirt-jacket combo. His hands were stuffed in his jacket pockets and he was staring at his crossed legs, bobbing his head to whatever song he was humming. It sounded vaguely familiar. She figured it was something that played on repeat at work.

She thumped her shoulder against his, leaned against his car, and was extra giddy when he glanced up at her, though she couldn’t place why.

“Ready to go?”

She nodded and he gestured around to the passenger’s seat. They hadn’t agreed on a place to eat, though Amy had insisted repeatedly that they should make reservations. It was Christmas _week_, for crying out loud. _Places were going to be busy._ Jake had waved her away, saying only that he would handle it. She tried to have faith in him.

She had more faith in the compiled list of restaurants with their holiday stats she kept in her bag as a backup.

He pulled into a _nice _restaurant. Amy knew it was a nice restaurant, not only by the long line going out the door, but by the fact she had never been in to eat, though she’d looked at it multiple times. She glanced sideways at Jake, expecting the same panic that was slowly eating away at her stomach as she watched the line. He didn’t seem the least bit phased, his smile maybe even growing a fraction. She didn’t say anything. Didn’t want to ruin this for him. She followed him inside, around the line, shoving her anxieties back with it, and up to the podium.

The host looked exhausted. She blinked at them.

Jake smiled knowingly at her. “Good evening. How ya holding up?”

The girl looked startled. She shrugged, made a face, her gaze jumping behind him. She glanced at the line, at the agitated couple standing just behind Jake. They looked as though they’d already complained four times and were likely waiting for another three opportunities at least to do so again. They were eyeing Jake and Amy suspiciously and almost hopefully, the hope that they would give them something more to complain about. The host looked tired. She shrugged, eyed Jake meaningfully, her head bowed at the line. “I’m okay. How can I help you?”

“Table for two. It should be under Peralta.”

She eyed her tablet, then the line. They could hear the couple’s outburst as she led them to a booth by the window. The lighting was dim, the single candle on the center of the table flickering against the darkening window. Amy stared out at the purpling sky for longer than she knew. Jake was watching her when she turned back to him.

“How did you get us in here? That wait had to be over an hour long.”

“Well, Amy,” he started in his fake teacher voice, hands folded in front of him, back straight. “There’s this thing called Reservations. That’s where you–”

“Oh, shut up.”

He laughed, still smiling at her. “Charles has an in with most restaurants. Either he eats here a lot and we’re going to be _very _disturbed by the food, or he just takes his Yelp reviews way too seriously and businesses are happy for any free advertising they can get.” He shrugged.

They talked about work. Mostly they discussed their holiday plans. Jake was going home to spend a few days of Hanukkah with his mom and would probably be fielding a lot of discussions about the neighbors and what were and were not appropriate gifts to hand out to people she barely knows. Amy had her usual holiday plans. Her brothers would be home, several with girlfriends, one with a fiancee. It was going to be _very chaotic. _She could already feel the claustrophobia setting in.

They were both going to be back for New Years.

“You should join us for New Years Eve,” Jake said suddenly and with no prompting. “We always go out to this bar and get wasted and end up at one of our apartments. It’ll probably be mine this year. We rotate. And I figure if you come, you’d feel more comfortable crashing at my place than anyone else’s. Not that you have to, of course. Just if you wanted…” He was blushing, his ears red and his hand rubbing the back of his neck.

“Hey, did you get your hair cut?”

If anything, his blush deepened. He nodded.

“I’d like that. New Years.”

“Cool. Cool cool cool.”

The bill came and Amy’s hand slammed down on it the moment the waiter began to turn away. Jake’s hand rested next to hers on the other end of the billfold. They met eyes. Neither of them budged. She pulled it toward her. He pulled it back. They sat like that for a full minute, neither blinking. Amy leaned in. Jake matched her. She blew in his face. He twitched backward and she pulled it from his hand.

“Amy.”

“Jake.”

“I picked the restaurant.”

“And it was lovely. Thank you.”

He waited. She smiled at him, all politeness. The waiter walked by again and she held her card out with the bill. Jake narrowed his eyes. The waiter left with her card.

“Ames.”

“You pay for everything. You told me I could get next time. Well, look at that. It’s next time. I got it.” She did what she had trained herself out of when she was still in middle school and stuck her tongue out at him. He had the politeness to look genuinely affronted. When the receipt came, he dumped a handful of bills on the table, stating that he could at least cover the tip since these people were so nice as to deal with them on so busy a night. Amy had to accept that one.

They got back to the car well after the sun had set and they could see their breath on the air more clearly than any of the physical landmarks in front of them.

“Alright,” Jake said, stashing his phone back in his pocket after glancing the time. “We have an hour before we each have to set off home. My gift for you is best seen in proper lighting and not under a street light. So. Your place or mine?”

Amy shrugged. “I have your gift in my bag. If you’re willing to drop me off after, we can go back to yours.”

He nodded, escorted her around to the passenger side, and the next they spoke, he was draping a blanket over her arms and placing a hot mug of tea into her hands. They sat on his couch which was surprisingly clean. The whole apartment was surprisingly clean. A part of her wanted to say that he had expected her company, but she knew it was more likely he cleaned up before he left for the holiday. Probably. Well, maybe. That didn’t really sound like Jake either.

He dropped onto the couch next to her, a poorly wrapped box in his hands. She placed her mug onto the coaster next to his and fumbled for the gift in her bag. It was much more meticulously wrapped. The stripes on the paper lined up perfectly with each fold. Each slice of tape was measured. Jake might have run out of paper while wrapping it; his gift was wrapped with two separate designs slapped onto each other on either side.

They unwrapped at the same time. It was only fair. That way they each got to watch the other react at the same time.

They were so focused on each other they both almost missed what their own gifts were.

“Oooh, my God.” Amy’s eyes were dancing with the ideas already being thought up in her mind. The journal making kit came with custom textured ribbon book marks and tapes. It had _options _for personal tab making. The _possibilities. _

“Holy crap, it comes with a John McClane plush!”

Amy shook herself out of her sixteenth idea for a journal to see the magic sparkling on Jake’s face. He beamed pure sunlight. His mouth hung open and his hands hadn’t moved from the box he was holding. “I figured you might actually read a book if it had a Die Hard theme. Sorry it’s based on The Night Before Christmas but it _is _supposedly a ‘Christmas movie.’”

He hugged the unopened box to his chest, stared her dead in the eyes. “It’s perfect.” He looked down at the box she was holding and there was hesitance in his gaze. “So?”

She looked back down at the kit she was holding. It had a multitude of stickers for all occasions, a variety of frames. “It’s _perfect._” She watched the excitement quickly return to the turn of his lips and she pushed on, suddenly very comfortable with her own excitement. “I’m going to make _so many _journals. So many binders. I can make the perfect scrap book. It’ll have cascading tabs. _Color coded._”

He laughed. “You’re such a nerd. _God_, I love you.”

She blinked.

He blinked.

“I… I’m sorry, was that weird to say? I didn’t mean to, I’m taking it back, it’s been taken, you didn’t hear that. That was weird.”

She blinked again, trying for a hard reset on her brain. Her heart thundered in her chest and she was reminded of the messages Rosa had shown her at the party. The panic in his messages, the mention of the word love. “No, no. It wasn’t… I love you, too.”

“Oh. Cool. Cool cool cool. Dope.”

Amy would have to do more research. She came up with a new idea for a binder. Or maybe a journal.


	34. New Years, Same Fears

Amy doesn’t see Jake again until New Year’s Eve. They both have to work, but when she shows up on her lunch break, Jake calls it and sits next to her at the bar, his own lunch dropped next to hers. He refreshed their drinks and Amy pretended to ignore the pointed looks she received from Rosa as he did so. It’d been almost three weeks since their initial conversation and Amy felt every judgement in every look Rosa gave her. Not so much from Charles; his pushiness was nothing new. Rosa, on the other hand, worried Amy very much with her concern. She tended to trust her intuition.

The problem here was this: Nothing Changed. Amy had gone over every interaction she and Jake had ever had and not once did his actions appear to have any added intention other than the one he’d always had. His motives never seemed to change, whatever they were.

Jake had told her that he used to have a crush on her but she still couldn’t pinpoint when that would have been. Sure, it was very likely the beginning of their interactions. He’d never really explained why he gave her free drinks. That would probably be a start. And the only real shift in their relationship happened later, when they were more comfortable with each other. She wouldn’t have noticed a change in how he acted around her. He probably stopped liking her before they were really friends. That made the most sense.

So she hadn’t stopped thinking about it the full week she’d been away from him.

They still texted nightly. On one occasion he’d even called her to rant for three hours about something Charles had said to him, though she never actually got what Charles said. He only mentioned how _it was dumb _and _Charles is dumb. _She didn’t really push for more than that. He fell asleep on the phone with her.

“So,” Jake said around a bite of his sandwich. “You’re coming out with us tonight, right?”

“I already told you. Yes. I’m coming.”

He held his hand palm out in defense, shrugged. “Okay, okay. I’m just double checking, in case you wanted to back out. Which would be fine. It’s your choice.”

“As you keep telling me. It almost sounds like you don’t want me to come.” She was looking down at her food, but she glanced him flush and flustered out of her peripheral.

“What? No! No, no, not at all. I _want_ you to come. I’m super excited about you joining us. Ask Rosa. I haven’t stopped talking about it all week!” His eyes widened. He looked as though if he could take back the last year of his life to avoid this moment, he would. Amy wanted to laugh. “I mean. No. Wait. Never mind, no, don’t do that. I haven’t. I talk about Die Hard. And other things that are not you. I have tons of interests.”

She smiled softly at him, let out a breathy laugh, and hoped he would stop digging before the hole got too deep to climb out of. She dropped a hand over one of his. “Jake. It’s fine. I was kidding.” 

“Oh. Right.”

He dropped his gaze to their hands, hers resting over his on the counter. Amy was sure his cheeks were a little more pink. She knew her face was suddenly much warmer. Not for the first time, she wished she could just know what he was thinking instead of having to guess. A lot of her guesses felt more like projection than anything. She slowly slipped her hand off of his and he immediately moved to grasp at the back of his neck. She was sure he could hear the painful _thump _her heart made against her chest.

“So, I’ll meet you there?”

“Huh?” He looked lost, his eyes floating around dazedly, his breathing erratic. He blinked several times before he was able to refocus on her face. His brow scrunched together. It took another moment before she could see the clarity come into his eyes, and then he looked lost but in another way. He looked down at the ground, at his sneakers, his hands, his food. Never at her. When he spoke again, his voice felt distant. It reminded Amy of every puppy at play time she’s had to turn away because of her allergies. “Oh. Right, yeah. Yeah. I’ll text you the bar. I don’t know when we’ll all be there. No real set time. You can just…show up whenever.”

#

She didn’t show up “whenever.”

She’s actually pretty sure she’s not capable of that. She showed up at the time allotted and not a moment later. She actually arrived twenty minutes early to make sure she had the right address and then wandered the block frantically messaging Kylie.

**((Text From: Kylie**

_It’s a bar. You can walk in WHENEVER. ))_

She didn’t want to seem too eager, though. What if she showed up too early and someone thought it was weird that she was waiting so long. Amy was of the opinion that if you’re not 15 minutes early, you’re late. But, as Kylie repeatedly reminded her, it was a bar and people weren’t “late” to bars. Especially on New Year’s Eve. Jake would likely be late and she didn’t really have a grasp on when the others would arrive. Rosa seemed like a late arriver. Charles might be there at any point. And Amy didn’t really know who else would be there, if any of their other friends or coworkers. Thinking about other people whose interests and preferred conversational topics she knew even less about had her walking a little faster around the corner.

She’d been walking for maybe seven minutes when her phone suddenly rang with an unknown number.

“Hello?”

“You pace too much. Just come inside.”

“Rosa? Why is your number hidden?”

“You don’t need all my numbers.”

“Wha–”

“Just come inside.”

Rosa was seated on a stool far off to one side. She had two beers in front of her and when Amy sat down, Rosa slid one to her. She took a sip. No one else was there yet.

“Stop panicking.”

“I’m not!”

“I watched you walk passed that window twelve times.”

“Why?”

Rosa shrugged and took a long sip of her beer. She was staring off into the room and Amy turned to look also but she didn’t see anyone recognizable. When she turned back, Rosa was watching her. “What are you in school for, anyway?”

Amy was taken aback by the question. She thought about checking the clock but Rosa was initiating a real conversation with her. Amy thought of her as a friend but she didn’t think the feelings went both ways. Rosa was giving her a blank, almost expectant, stare. She fumbled with her drink. “Oh! I’m working on a Bachelors in Art History, but I have a lot of extra credits in plenty of other areas. History, English, Criminal Psychology. I have a few minors. What are you doing?”

Rosa nodded. “I triple majored.”

Amy stared at her hard. “What?? How? In what-”

“Why’d you choose Art?”

Amy spoke for almost twenty minutes. Rosa gave no extra information about her own education, though Amy pried. They’d covered the ins and outs of every possible future and Amy was delving into the intricacies and interests of a history major when an arm landed around her shoulder. Rosa pretended not to notice when Amy jumped. Jake smiled at her, the genuine surprise in his eyes at her presence. Charles stood behind, not so politely silent. His mouth was shut but he looked like he might explode. Gina was already sending four judgmental glances their way as she dropped onto the stool next to Rosa.

A man Amy didn’t know arrived with Terry. He was calm and serious and showed not a single emotion on his face and Amy wanted to know everything about him _so badly._ She was staring. She could feel it. She nudged Jake’s side, his arm still wrapped around her. He followed her eye and perked up.

“Oh! Have you two not met? Oh man. Amy, this is the boss, Holt. Holt, my best friend, Amy Santiago.” He waved a hand between the two of them. His excitement could be felt against his arm, practically shaking on her shoulder.

Amy stood immediately, back straight, shrugging off Jake’s arm as she offered a hand to shake. She couldn’t tell by the lack of change in his demeanor, but she liked to think he seemed pleased. Jake leaned into her side and whispered loudly into her ear. “I’m his favorite.”

Holt eyed Jake. “I assure you, I hold no favoritism among my staff. You’re at the bottom.”

“How can I be at the bottom if you don’t have favorites?”

Holt simply stared, blank. “How, indeed.”

Jake mocked offense and sunk back into the chair next to Amy. She leaned against his side and dropped her voice to a real whisper. “Why do I need his approval about my entire life?”

He whispered back at the same tone, a teasing edge to his lips. “Because you’re a dork.”

“Alright!” Gina stood up, slammed her hands on the small table they were surrounding. The room was beginning to fill. The crowd around them was buttoned up and dressed like every important event in their lives came together for one night, all of them simultaneously ready for back-to-back interviews followed by multiple important dates. A line was growing surrounding the bar and only Rosa and Amy held drinks. Jake reached across and drank from Amy’s. They all looked to Gina. “We need drinks. Who’s buying the first round?”

They spread out as the night went on. Once they all had drinks in hand, they slowly drifted to whatever empty tables they could find. Amy found herself with Charles discussing what he considered to be fine dining and Jake pretending to listen.

“Jake,” Amy started during a lull in the conversation in which Charles responded to a stranger from another group who mentioned their favorite foods and so walked off to explain why they were wrong. Jake had turned his full attention on Amy. “We’ve been friends a while now. We’re pretty close, you and I. We tell each other things. We’ve admitted to past feelings.”

“– Wait, are there current feelings –”

“And I think it’s time you finally told me why you give me free drinks.”

“Oh.” He scratched the side of his head, other hand tapping against his beer. “I don’t know.”

Amy leaned forward, pained. She’d waited so long. “What do you mean you don’t know?”

“I don’t know. The first time I let it slide, you were stressed and you just looked so relieved and I guess I just wanted to see you smile again.” He was smiling at the table and his hand was twitching. When he looked up at her, his eyes were dazed, light and glistening. He looked soft, genuinely happy. “But then I realized it annoyed you so I had to keep going.”

“…excuse me?”

“Yeah. You get all annoyed when I don’t let you pay. It’s adorable. I figured if I continued with the free drinks, you’d have to keep coming back till I let you pay.”

Amy felt herself sit back. She blinked and her breath left her. She opened her mouth, closed it, opened it again. She stared at him in amazement. And horror. “Wait…has this been a competition the whole time? Have we been competing???”

“Of course.” Jake leaned in, face inches from hers. She could almost feel him speaking as much as she could hear it. She could barely hear it. He grinned, wide, and his eyes sparkled like he was about to dare himself to do something stupid. When he spoke, he hissed. “_And_ _you’re losing_.”

Amy held a hand to her chest in fake dramatics, though the offense was real. She’d let him win and she didn’t even know they were competing. She stood abruptly and made a move toward the bar. “I’m buying the next round.”

With only an hour left of the year, the crowd was becoming cumbersome to force through. Amy forced her way through to the bar and flagged down the bartender. She was shoulder to shoulder with the crowd and was less surprised than tired when she felt someone touch her shoulder. It didn’t feel like anyone she knew and when the stranger winked at her, said the usual “Can I get this round for you?” she almost abandoned the drinks she was waiting on. He looked like the stereotypical movie villain, like he was probably selling drugs on the side but never sampled his own product. She shook her head, pretended to ignore him, smiled politely and said she was with someone, but his hand remained. The drinks came and the bartender threw her a questioning glance, aimed at the man.

“Really, I’m with someone.”

“Hey, it’s alright.” He reached for one of the drinks but an arm stretched between him and Amy and grabbed it out of his reach. Another, more comforting arm landed around hers and she felt it tighten. Jake raised an eyebrow at Amy and she smiled at him. The hand around her shoulder rubbed circles on her bicep.

“Hey, babe. You were taking a while with the drinks.”

Amy’s hand came to wrap around his waist, clung to his jacket at his side. She tried not to focus on the way her heart thumped and her face grew warm when he called her babe. She didn’t focus on the way he was smiling with such pride or how his hand moved from her arms to land at her hip. She leaned in, pressed against him, and pressed a quick kiss against his jaw. She turned away before she could see his face, instead looking to the now very uncomfortable guy across from them. He didn’t stick around long. He ducked and left, his mutterings barely reaching Amy and Jake.

Jake’s arm didn’t leave her right away. He stood there with her, sipping at the drink he took from the stranger, his hand comfortably at her side. Amy smiled warmly up at him, searching for something in his face.

He just smiled back at her, confusion creasing his forehead. “Oh, sorry for springing that on you. You looked uncomfortable.” He seemed to suddenly remember himself and drew his arm back. Amy reached out, very aware of the loss, and grabbed his arm. He startled, eyes widening, and stared at her, expectant.

Amy dropped his arm. “No, no, thank you. _I’m _sorry for springing the kiss on you.”

It was too dark to mark any differences in his face, but going by the way he sputtered and turned away, she was sure he was blushing. “No, yeah, that was… that was fine. It was good. Really convincing.”

“Right,” she nodded, gestured ahead of her back to their table. “Great work, best friend.”

He returned to the table, nodding and nodding. Amy smiled to herself, the way he licked his bottom lip when he was flustered still fresh in her mind.

#

“Friends can hold hands! We held hands.”

Amy could have heard Jake from across the bar, but he was only a table over and he was gesturing wildly. He’d stood up abruptly, but he looked around him and was sitting again, glaring at Gina. She was looking both proud of herself and like she was explaining pickpocketing to a child who wasn’t getting the hint. Slow and annunciated.

“Yeah, we _did_. When we were five. But friends don’t hold hands all the time and go on dates and give each other free drinks for a year and a half.”

Amy shouldn’t have been listening. She should have walked away. She tried to read their lips for better clarity.

“You don’t have the right friends, then.”

“Jake. We are friends. And you don’t do that for me.”

“Yeah but you’re different, Gina. She’s different. We’re—”

“Dating?”

Jake’s eyes got wider and he was staring down at the table. He dropped his head into both of his hands and his next words were too muffled to hear. Amy tried leaning in. “… oh my god, am I…?”

“OH MY GOD, GIRL, YES”

She wanted to walk over. She wanted to leave the building and start walking and never stop. She wanted another drink. Jake looked up at her and she didn’t know what she wanted anymore. He looked lost but when he looked at her there was something in his eye, as though he was suddenly noticing a million new things about her. She looked down at herself, trying to see what he was seeing. She’d been waiting _so long _for this but now she didn’t know what she wanted to happen. She didn’t know how much longer she could keep telling herself they were just friends when he was looking at her like that.

He waved at her and there was as much humor in his smile as there was panic. She took the stool next to Gina, who looked very much like she wanted to be anywhere and nowhere else.

“Hey, Ames. Did you know that we’re dating?” His eyes shifted sideways to Gina and the edges of his lips turned up but he laughed and it covered whatever Amy would have said. “You should’ve told me. If I’d known, I woulda brought you somewhere way more special than my job.”

Amy tucked the hair behind her ears. “If we were dating, I would say that I wouldn’t mind where you took me because I’d just enjoy spending time with you.”

“One. That’s embarrassingly corny and if you had said that and if we were dating I would tell you that’s gross. And two. Don’t settle for Starbucks. You’re worth way more than that.”

“Well, I also like Polish food.”

“Noted. At least, it would be. If we were dating.”

“Right. Of course.”

Gina’s heavy groan broke apart their reverie enough to force them apart. They’d drifted closer together and were leaning into each other. They both straightened up and sat back. Gina stood and walked off, no longer interested in what was going on with them. Amy was better for it. She needed another drink. She jumped from her seat and returned to the bar, draining her glass and not looking at the way Jake’s face fell or how his eyes watched her.

#

“How is it,” Amy asked, leaning heavily over the table. Her head was so heavy. She wanted to lie down. “How is it… that baristas get free drinks? Where… what’s that go under? Is there a button?”

Rosa rolled her eyes. She pushed the water closer to Amy. “We have a limited number of free drinks per shift. They’re written off.”

“So, in theory, you could… I don’t know, give that to someone else?” She was trying her best. She hadn’t seen Holt in a while, but she didn’t know who else knew about all the drinks. Rosa and Charles, sure, but her vision had gone a little blurry and the _weight _of her head was just _so heavy._

“You are referring to the many free drinks you have received from Jacob.” 

Amy jumped. Holt was standing behind Rosa, who was looking only vaguely more on edge than is usual for her. She slammed down the rest of her drink.

“_Whaaaaat? _The… _what _free drinks? Who’s Jacob?” Amy could feel herself screwing this up. She couldn’t tell if Holt was disappointed. She didn’t know if it would be aimed at her or Jake. He barely knew her, she didn’t know how it would be aimed at her. She hoped it was Jake. She didn’t want Jake getting in trouble, by any means, but _boy _she didn’t want this strange emotionless man to be disappointed in her.

He hadn’t moved so much as an eye lash. He was just standing there. “We are all aware of the many drinks Peralta has written off. There is a budget for losses such as these, but that many drinks does not go unnoticed.”

Amy blinked too many times. She tried to sit up straight. The world felt very spinny. “Sooo… what happens now?”

“Nothing.” How was he showing no emotion? Not even a lilt to his voice. Or maybe there was. It was so loud, she couldn’t tell. She thought maybe he was amused. “While against the rules, he has done nothing wrong. A number of drinks are allowed to be written off each day and our store rarely goes over that. Most go accounted for. I’ve also taken a few dollars out of his share of tips on days it does not. He has not noticed. He pays very little attention to his job.”

Amy was confused. Maybe it was the drinks. Maybe she needed water. “How…why don’t the numbers line up?”

Rosa rolled her eyes, already slamming down another drink that Amy didn’t see delivered. “He gives you his daily drink and takes Charles’ for himself.”

“I’m happy to give it. I just want you two to be happy.”

“Stop talking.”

Charles dragged a finger across his lips. She didn’t remember him being there or when he got there. She really needed water. She put a hand on the table to boost herself up and a glass appeared next to her, filled with water. Jake held it to her lips and she scooped it from his hands as she drank. Her head was feeling much lighter and so much more clear by her second glass. But then Charles was ushering them all outside and the crisp air biting into her cheeks sobered her right up. Where was her jacket and why had she left it inside?

Jake wrapped her coat over arms and pulled it tight around her before she could comprehend anything but the warmth of it. Her arms were wrapped tight around herself and she felt a little better.

Jake was standing in front of her, teasing smile on his face, and his hands rubbed warm circles over her upper arms. “How did you forget your jacket? You freeze in mid-July.”

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I’ve had a bit to drink. I didn’t realize we were going outside. Why are we outside?” She frowned and tried to burrow into the fuzzy neck of her coat.

“Because _iiiit’s_…” Jake’s hand left her arm and she regretted asking. He peered at his wrist. “Two minutes to midnight. And Charles likes to watch the fireworks.” He looked around at the large group of people milling outside the bar. Rosa and Gina were leaned against the window absorbed in their own conversation, though Gina occasionally threw a glance their way. Charles was too busy counting down the seconds. Even Holt was staring at his watch, though likely not for the same reasons as Charles. He looked properly bundled and warm and Amy was very jealous.

“Hey,” Jake said, and Amy was suddenly looking back at him. “I’m sorry about the…weird conversation earlier. Gina says things sometimes and I just. I like you, and you’re my best friend so I don’t want you to think anything weird or be uncomfortable or–”

“Can I kiss you?”

Jake stopped talking. He was staring wide eyed, lips slightly parted. 

“I’m sorry. It’s just, I’ve wanted to since like the day after I met you and now seems like it’s finally a good time to ask but it’s cool if you don’t want to.”

He shook and his hand latched onto her arm. She could feel him steady himself. “Oh my god, please do.”

Her eyes shot up from watching her hands, her fingers twisting together and balling up in her palm, holding the hem of her jacket sleeve. She hadn’t dared look at Jake before, the flush going right to her cheeks and neck, and she couldn’t handle seeing his eyes. When she looked up, though, her heart nearly stopped. His eyes were wide in wonder, sparkling, and his lips were parted as though he wanted to speak but couldn’t bring the words out. His face was flushed and he was holding his breath. His eyes flicked from hers to her lips and back up. He swallowed. His tongue darted out to lick his bottom lip.

“What?”

“Please. Yes.”

She leaned in so suddenly that she felt herself lose balance, catching herself with a hand on Jake’s shoulder. His hands grabbed her waist, steadying her almost immediately. And then her mouth was on his and every racing thought in her mind went silent. He was so warm. One of his hands travelled up to cup her cheek, the other gripping at her hip. She pressed her frozen hands to his neck and felt him shiver. She could feel him make a face. Her hand was running through the short hairs at the back of his neck, the other on his cheek. And he was kissing her and his lips were soft and warm and she could feel him smiling.

They pulled apart, the very bitter air entering her lungs, and she suddenly was aware of the fireworks behind them and Charles collapsing next to them, Terry holding him up.

Amy hadn’t looked away from Jake. The wonder in his eyes was evident and wild and if she didn’t say something he might never move from that spot but she was cold and she kind of wanted to kiss him again. So she started talking. “I’ve wanted to kiss you since the day I met you.”

He was smiling and somehow it was wider than she’d ever seen it. “Well, if it helps, I’ve wanted you to kiss me since the day you met me, too.”

“Oh.” She didn’t know what else to say. His arms were still around her and she was feeling so giddy and confused and _really cold. _She couldn’t stop smiling at him. He was still staring.

“I cried about you to Taylor Swift.”

Amy blinked. She laughed. She laid her forehead against his shoulder and appreciated how warm he was. She really wished they could go back inside. “I know, Jake.”

“Oh.” His arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her closer to him. He rested his cheek on the side of her head. Then he lifted it and pulled back, arms never dropping, to look her in the face. “Wait, _you do?_”


	35. What Are We

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be honest, I wrote the basis for this chapter while I was live tweeting my rewatch of Doctor Who over the Fall and no one would listen to me talk about it. I only just tied it into the story tonight because I really needed to express my feelings about the 9th Doctor and it was the only tie in I had.   
Anyway.   
If you haven't watched Doctor Who, or are unfamiliar with the scene, there's a video on youtube, it's just. So Good.

Amy awoke in a bed that was not hers. She knew immediately because her many quilts were missing and she was laying on only one pillow. This realization, while worrying, didn’t make her want to get up any more. Her head hurt. Not as much as the last hangover, nothing could ever beat that. But it wasn’t all that pleasant either.

No one else was in the bed with her. It was a comforting thing to know, though it didn’t answer her questions. She stretched her arms out, hoping to find something to grab onto, but all she found was the comforter wrapped around her.

She peaked out from under the blanket and spotted a side table next to the bed. A full glass of water and two Advil tablets were waiting in her reach. She downed them before anything else. With the blanket shrouded around her, she sat up in the bed. Her clothes were changed, she’d noticed. The outfit she spent hours deciding on to wear to the party was now a pair of very familiar sweatpants and an old t-shirt. She had a vague recollection of the sweatpants as being the ones she’d worn when she showed up at Jake’s to take care of him. Which would explain where she was, and would make a lot of sense.

She allowed herself to look around the room, finally, though her head didn’t want to process things. It was definitely Jake’s room. From the clutter scattered all around to him passed out on the floor next to the bed. His head was propped up against the mattress at just the right angle that she was sure he was going to be stuck like that all day. His outfit was identical to hers. She wondered if the rest of the group was still milling around, likely all unconscious in the next room. She wondered more how she ended up with the bed.

“Jake?”

He didn’t move, didn’t appear to have noticed at all.

She leaned over the bed and poked his shoulder. He turned his head as if to say something but instead groaned loud and long, his hand clutching at the side of his neck. He mumbled something that didn’t sound like a real language and then his eyes were squinting open.

She waited.

He licked his lips and yawned several times. He seemed to be trying to will the pain in his neck away. After a long few moments where Amy simply watched him, watched the way his hair knotted on top of his head and how his jaw worked the rest of his face awake, Jake turned his body fully to face Amy. He remained sitting cross-legged on the floor, squinting vaguely up at her. He yawned again. Then he smiled. “Hey, Ames.”

“Good morning, Jake.” It had been so long but her heart still skipped a beat each time he called her that.

“How’d you sleep?”

“Better than you, probably. Why are you on the floor?”

He shrugged.

“We’ve shared a bed before…”

He looked away, rubbing at the spot on his neck where she was sure he was still aching. She was not jealous of the cramp he would likely sustain. He was still smiling but he suddenly looked so shy and small and far away. When he spoke, his voice was the rough one expects from someone who’d just awakened, but thrice as distant. “I guess I wanted to give you some space. Ya know. After last night… Plus I didn’t want Charles getting any ideas.” He gestured to the bedroom door that was hanging open and Amy could see several human sized lumps on and around the couch.

“Oh. Right.” She thought about last night and how Jake’s lips had felt when she’d finally had the courage (and alcohol) to back her up. She felt his hands on her waist, holding her up as she lost balance. She missed the way his face felt cupped in her hands. She really hoped she’d get to do that again. Once was not enough. “Well, it’s morning now, so we can assure Charles nothing could have happened. And you can sleep in your own bed since I’m sure you’re already regretting the floor.”

His eyes were wide and sincere, eyebrows raised. He whispered as though he were a small child giving in and confiding in their adult. “It hurts so bad.” Amy laughed as he climbed into the bed and she was halfway to stepping onto the floor when he stopped her with a hand on hers. “Hey, where are _you_ going?”

“Oh, I just thought,” she started, feeling her face flush. She looked away from him, couldn’t catch his eye. “You’ll want your bed back. I can head out or start waking the others.”

“No, hey. You said yourself, we’ve shared a bed before. It’s fine, right?” He was laughing and Amy found herself laughing with him as she let him pull her back onto the bed. “Besides, you told me yourself you don’t have work today. You’re not getting out of this that easy. We’re all going for breakfast once everyone wakes up.” Despite his words, he was yawning again. He pulled the comforter out from around her and pulled it up to his neck. They both lay on their sides, facing each other, wide, goofy, genuine smiles unable to leave their faces. He was blinking frantically to keep himself awake, his eyes slipping closed over and over. Before they closed for good, he leaned in close, dropped an arm around Amy’s side, and pulled her to him in a hug. “Hey, I’m glad you came out last night. It was fun and just…” He hesitated, his eyes open but not looking at her. The shy look was back in his eyes and on his lips. “Really good. It was really, _really_ good.”

“Yeah.” Amy thought about kissing him, about holding him tight and never letting go. She thought about how it felt to have him smile against her lips. About how her heart nearly stopped to hear him say _please. _“Yeah, it really was.”

#

They were all ushered to the nearest open breakfast food place. Amy borrowed another of Jake’s shirts to go out. Gina emerged from the bathroom in a new outfit though she wouldn’t explain whether she’d brought it with her or if she stored it in Jake’s apartment. He didn’t seem to know the answer either. The only person who didn’t stay the night was Holt, which surprised no one.

They pushed two tables together at the diner and Amy and Jake ended up the furthest from each other. She pretended not to notice. Really it was for the better. Amy wasn’t quite sure where they stood, as of the previous night. Sure, they’d kissed, but that could mean anything. Sometimes a kiss is just a kiss, right? That’s just what people do on New Year. It’s not like they’d admitted to anything really. Aside from each of them wanting really badly to kiss the other throughout the extent of their friendship. But that desire had been accomplished, so now what?

She found herself looking at him across the tables and on several occasions, she found him staring back. Whenever she did, he turned away, dropped his gaze, and his ears turned a shade pinker. Fortunately, no one said anything more about the kiss, at least not to Amy. Charles was sat next to Jake and she couldn’t hear the furious whispers they exchanged. For the most part, they all sat in contented silence, heads bobbing and eyes closing, blinking open and closing again.

They parted ways out front the diner. None of them had driven the night before so they all split to find their own ways home. Rosa nodded at Amy, bumped her shoulder with her fist, and said for only her to hear, “You’re both dumb but I think you’ll figure it out.”

Amy only tilted her head sideways, brows scrunched together. “Thanks? I think?”

Terry hailed a cab, Gina left with Rosa, Charles going in the general direction Amy would have to take. Which left Amy and Jake standing side by side, each staring at their own feet and not talking. Jake scratched the side of his head. Amy rubbed her upper arm. A minute went by. She glanced up at Jake and he was watching her, hesitantly.

“I should really get home…”

“Right,” he said, coughing a laugh. “Thanks again, ya know… for hanging out with us.”

“Thanks again for inviting me.” She didn’t really know what to do. She never did when it came to parting ways with Jake. Mostly because she never wanted to.

He scuffed his shoe against the sidewalk. Bobbed back and forth on his heels, both hands in his pockets. He was smiling at her with that goofy smile of his and it was taking everything in her to walk away instead of grabbing him and kissing him like she’d like to do. She very nearly held out her hand to shake but then balled it in a fist and let her arm hang at her side. Jake watched her do it, entertainment lingering in the glimmer in his eyes all the while.

“So, um, I’ll talk to you?” She was stalling. She didn’t know what else to do.

“Right. Yeah. Definitely. We will… do that. At some point.”

“Cool.”

“Cool, cool, cool.”

They continued smiling at each other until they had each turned the corner. Once Amy was well out of his way, she sunk onto a bench and held her head in her hands. She breathed, in and out, and again. She spoke aloud to herself on her breath out. “Things just became… so much more complicated.”

#

“We only kissed the one time. That could mean anything. I don’t think anything’s even changed, really. It’s all normal.”

“Amy. Ames.” Kylie stared at her with all the loving judgement any best friend has the right to hold. She talked as though she were explaining things to a child. “I have to agree with your friend, Rosa, when I say that you two are _very dumb_.”

“_Hey.” _Amy folded her arms over her chest, the t-shirt she’d stolen from Jake hidden under her sweater. She would have to remember to wash it before she saw him next, whenever that would be.

“You two _kissed, _Amy. You _like _him! And _he _likes _you_! You _kissed. _I don’t know how else to explain this. Friends don’t usually think about kissing each other as much as you two do.”

Amy gestured for Kylie to keep her voice down. She spun to see if anyone was staring at them, but the small coffee shop was nearly empty, New Year’s Day hardly a busy day for getting out of bed. She’d only made it home to collect herself and call Kylie before leaving again. Everyone she’d been with had made it home and were sleeping off hangovers or were at work at Starbucks on the very other side of town. Amy chose the meeting place with that in mind, though it did nothing to calm her nerves.

“Look,” Kylie started again, voice in a whisper. “The way I see it, you two have liked each other for a long time. Everyone can see it. It’s ridiculous that you can’t. You like him. He likes you. You asked him for a kiss and he practically _begged _for it. What are you missing here?”

Amy shrugged. She took a sip of her coffee. Kylie was right and if it were the other way around, she would be equally frustrated with Kylie for not seeing the signs. But she’d known Jake for over a year now and she just couldn’t tell. They hadn’t exactly done anything about it in the morning. They hadn’t even mentioned it. No one had. It was like nothing happened and nothing changed, so who was she to be freaking out about it? Jake had even been too uncomfortable to share the bed with her, something they’d done before with no awkwardness.

“I just,” she started, then sighed. Her phone buzzed on the side of the table and she used the momentary distraction to look away from Kylie as she spoke. “What if I’m reading into this all wrong? Or he _was_ interested but the kiss was just to test the waters and he decided he’s over that now.” She avoided Kylie’s eyes, pretended to not feel the hurt in her chest that came with that sentiment. If it came down to that, she would live with it. She cherished Jake’s friendship too much to let a little hurt come between them. She fiddled with her phone, prolonged opening her messages to give herself more time away from her friends response.

**Text From: Jake **

_ Im soo bored whyd you have to go and leave ??Yuo could be here entertaining me but noo_

_Leaving me in my time of need_

**Text To: Jake **

_ Boredom is a time of need?_

**Text From: Jake**

_ YES. Im alone on this couch bored and you wont even keep me company _

_Whatd you have to do thats more important than me anyway? _

_ Joking of course. You don’t owe anyone any explanations._

_ but also I require entertainment from you specifically _

“Yeah,” Kylie said, breaking Amy out of her daze. She had a smile on her face she wasn’t aware of and Kylie raised an eyebrow at her, daring her to pretend it wasn’t there. “I’m _sure _you’re reading into it. He definitely isn’t into you.”

Amy pretended not to notice the sarcasm. She nodded, hid her phone in her purse, and ignored it vibrating three more times. “Thank you for agreeing with me.”

#

“The 9th Doctor’s arch was crucial to the creation of the 10th Doctor because without him, we may never have had the Doctor and Rose. David Tennant’s appearance was needed because the Doctor chose to age down in order to be accepted by Rose. He loved her he but didn’t think she could ever be with him while he appeared so much older. He needed to be young and attractive to accept her affections.”

“Amy. Ames. Quick side note. I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Amy stared at Jake. She’d been sitting at her usual seat for an hour, going through her usual pre-semester routine of relabeling and rebuilding all of her course binders, filling them with everything she might need, and organizing the heck out of the recommended course materials and pre-first-day notes. It was the first time she’d seen Jake since New Year’s and while it had only been a couple of days, still nothing had changed. Her drink was waiting for her when she arrived and he might have looked a little more excited than usual to see her, but she might also have been projecting because she was definitely more excited than usual. And nervous. And anxious. So anxious. But he didn’t look at her any differently and he didn’t avoid her like she’d worried he would. Not that she thought he really would. They’d been texting almost nonstop and almost every fifth message was about how she could be entertaining him in person rather than forcing him to read. She’d been nervous that seeing him would be different somehow. That he would see her and remember their kiss and he would realize he didn’t want her around and would disappear until she left. Now, though, sitting across from him as he washed the dishes and beamed at her like a confused puppy who had no idea what was going on but was up for the ride, everything felt so normal and light that the nerves felt years behind her.

“Doctor Who.”

He blinked.

“The BBC show. Been on for 50 years. Time Travel and aliens?”

The blank look again.

“Okay, you’re coming over to my apartment and we’re watching it all.”

“All 50 years? You want me over for that long?” He was smiling.

“It wasn’t really airing for… you know what. Yeah, just come over this weekend. Bring pajamas. We’re not leaving till you’re educated.”

He wiggled his eyebrows at her but she didn’t miss the look of genuine excitement on his face. “A weekend at Amy’s. How did you read my deepest desires?” His voice was teasing but his eyes gleamed. She didn’t see the hesitation she suddenly felt reflected anywhere on his features, couldn’t catch the anxiety or the sudden influx of expectations or questions that were filtering through her mind. He just looked excited.

#

They started with the 9th Doctor before noon, surprisingly, as Jake was already waiting at her doorstep with a bag of breakfast sandwiches and coffee in hand. He showed up in pajamas, as planned, and was already set up comfortably on the couch when Amy brought out a pile of blankets. They didn’t move all day except to call for dinner when neither of them wanted to stop the show to prepare a meal. Jake was fully invested, asking only a few questions here and there for background which Amy happily gave up. They began the show at a comfortable distance on the couch, but after a brief argument over the softest blanket in the bundle, they ended up close together, sharing the blanket while Jake leaned against Amy.

They barely noticed the time passing so that by the time they moved for the first time, it was dinner time and they’d watched the entirety of the 9th Doctor. Amy stood first, stretching her arms above her head to pop the ache in her back and on her arm where Jake had been pressed against her. She cleared away the empty soda cans and pizza boxes, stashed the last few slices in the fridge, and debated desert.

Jake was behind her when she turned around and she nearly jumped.

“So he’s just _gone??” _The blanket they’d been sharing was wrapped around him like a cape and he looked genuinely upset, eyes watery and face cloaked in disbelief. “They kiss and we never see him again? Do they at least get together after? They’re in a relationship in the next episode, right?”

“Nope. They don’t talk about the kiss ever again.”

“What the Hell, Ames?” He picked at the last few crumbs in one of the chip bags left on the counter.

“He sacrificed himself for her and becomes someone he thinks she can love more. He becomes someone she’d want to be with.” She looked at the clock and the reflection of her kitchen in the window. The world outside was almost black, not really unusual for the time of year but it made everything feel so much later. They’d been sitting on the couch for near 10 hours. She’d only sort of been serious when she invited him over for the whole weekend, completely for it but not at all expecting him to accept it. She certainly hadn’t been expecting to watch an entire season without moving from the couch. “Do you want to continue or call it a night?”

Amy appreciated the offense written across Jake’s face. “You’re joking, right? You can’t just end it right there. I have to know who this new guy is.”

“Well, I think we’re going to need some ice cream. And maybe more hot chocolate.” She put on the kettle, the bags of hot coco mix and marshmallows already sitting out. She watched Jake rinse out their mugs and didn’t regret at all inviting him over. 

#

“That look on the Doctor’s face when Cassandra as Rose made out with him and he looked completely wrecked? Need someone to kiss me like that.”

“You get it.”

Amy glanced over at Jake as she had done many times throughout their watch but this time Jake was looking back. Or he was, until she turned to him. Then his head snapped back and he was watching the TV with a guilty look in his eyes and a red tint to his cheeks and ears. Amy wondered if he was serious. She wondered what it’d be like to kiss Jake like that, wondered if he’d look as helpless and wrecked afterward, his hair everywhere, his voice broken and high and startled. Maybe it was the full day of TV talking, or the pent up energy from doing nothing all day, or the fact that it was almost midnight and they’d been hanging out for over 12 hours, most of which was spent cuddled very close together on her couch, but Amy didn’t think she was thinking clearly. She felt like she was. She felt like she was thinking more clearly than she had the entire time they’d known each other. She hadn’t stopped thinking about their one kiss in over a week, or the way he looked at her when he thought she couldn’t see.

She knew she’d been staring for too long. She hadn’t been able to look away. He must have thought she’d turned by now because he looked back at her and seemed startled to meet her eyes. His face was flushed and it was right next to hers, it being his turn to let her lean on him, his arm around her shoulders under the blanket they shared. She watched him lick his lips, a tick she noticed a short while into their friendship. His hand on her shoulder twitched and she found herself leaning closer into him.

Amy looked up into his eyes again and they were no longer meeting hers but staring down at her own lips. She really did want to know if he’d look as destroyed as the 10th Doctor.

She almost wanted to pause the show, didn’t want Jake to miss even a minute of the episode but she figured they could always rewind. She leaned into him and his lips were chapped and warm and he seemed to want to answer the same question she did. His arm dropped from around her shoulders as she turned to him and instead it wound around her waist, pulling her closer to him, his other hand touching her neck, disappearing into the hair that was hanging loose over her shoulders. She pushed back as aggressively, deepening the kiss, pressed him into the pillows they had scattered across the couch to make the perfect nest. She shoved her hand into his hair, tangled her fingers in the strands of curls, and used them to pull his face closer, wanting somehow to make this more. She bit his lip, almost laughed when he opened his mouth to suck in air but instead just groaned loud and deep and she could feel it where her other hand was pressed against his chest.

Her hand slipped from his hair, pressed against his very warm neck, and she pulled away from him. Her lips left his and she could feel him lean towards her as she leaned away. Her eyes opened before his did and the look on his face had her snorting a laugh. He looked up at her lost, eyes dazed, mouth hanging open. His brain was doing a hard reset and she could see it all on his face. She started to laugh.

“Yeah, you look just as wrecked.”

His brows scrunched together and his face cleared. The hand on her waist tightened. Before she was aware of it, he had slipped his leg out from under him, raising himself above her on the couch, and held her waist so that when he regained his position, part kneeling on the cushion, one leg standing on the ground, he had pulled her down to a laying position, pressed her into the cushions under him, and his mouth was back on hers. He tilted his head to the side for a better angle and he was kissing her, tongue darting out and licking her lips, biting one. He pressed into her so hard she was sure there would be an indentation the shape of her body engraved into the cushions. Her breath fell short and she would be gasping for air but then he was pulling away and now she was the one chasing his mouth with her own and feeling suddenly very lost when she was able to freely sit up. He was already back to his previous position, his lips pulled up in a lopsided grin. Their blanket had fallen to the floor and neither of them made a move to retrieve it.

“Yeah,” he said in a tone of agreement. “You do, too.”

Amy blinked at him and then she was laughing and he was joining her and wow she couldn’t think of the opposite of regret but whatever that was, that’s how she was feeling now. She felt the opposite of regret at inviting Jake over.

“Can we go back? I have _no idea _what’s going on in the show.”

They fall asleep sometime around four in the morning, well into season two, the glow of the pause screen the only light in the room, Amy curled in Jake’s chest with her arms around his waist to fit them both on the narrow couch. Several blankets piled on top of them both. The sun leaked in not long after they crashed, glancing off the screen and over their eyelids. Jake pulled the blanket over their heads, pressed his nose into Amy’s hair, and held her tighter.

#

Amy walked directly up to the register the next time she saw Jake. He stood his ground, though the baristas around him looked shocked. She hadn’t broken protocol in the last seven months and it was unlike her to start again. Jake kept a blank look on his face, not moving toward the register and not allowing anyone else near one either. It probably would have worked better had more people been in. As it was, he watched her, daring her with a look to try to proceed further.

She called it, her posture perfect, her demeanor unfazed.

“Amy.”

“Jake.”

“Your drink is waiting for you at your usual spot at the bar.”

“That’s very kind of you, Jake. May I pay for it, please?”

“You may not.”

Charles and Rosa hadn’t moved. Neither of them looked as though they knew what to do. Charles looked like he might cry. Rosa looked ready to fight. Neither of them did anything.

Amy smiled politely at Jake. He smiled wider.

“Fine. Then I’d like to order another drink.”

“Great. What’ll it be?” He didn’t budge.

“A Strawberry Refresher.”

“Done.”

“And a Vanilla Bean Frappucino.”

His jaw clenched. His words were strangled. “Fine.”

Amy struggled to hold it together. She knew she should be winning this. Holt had given her the answer himself. “I know you only get one drink a day, Jake. And you already used up Charles’.”

Somehow his grin got wider. “Yeah? Well I know the numbers of every barista in this place. I can use all of their drinks.”

For the first time Rosa began to protest and Amy thought she might kill Jake right there, but she restrained herself. Amy stayed silent. She held Jake’s eye, kept her back straight, didn’t breathe. He never budged. The two customers in the place were on the edges of their seats. Amy felt her jaw begin to ache from biting down so hard.

She let out her breath in the heaviest most pleading sigh she could emit. She saw the victory in Jake’s eyes before she even spoke. “Damn it, Jake! Just let me pay.”

“If you wanna pay so bad, buy me dinner.”

Her heart leapt. So did she. “Done.” 

“Wait, what?” She saw the light waning.

“I’m buying you dinner. And it’s going to be from the fanciest restaurant. And we’re probably going for ice cream after. And you’re not paying for any of it.”

His face fell, as did his jaw. Charles, on the other hand, had to be held down from physically jumping over the bar to run to Amy. His joy was obvious and very audible. Rosa covered his mouth to cover the high pitched squeak coming from somewhere deep within his throat. Jake was still processing everything and Amy knew he’d realized his loss.

“Wait… No, that’s not– I didn’t agree to – but _I _was gonna… I _lost?_”

“Spectacularly!” She knew the dancing was coming. Her arms were starting to wave and she jumped up and down and she was spinning and Jake was trying not to laugh, the drama in his loss not yet done despite the smile edging at his lips as he watched her. “You Lost, _son! _Get ready for a date, _loser.”_

They don’t realize they’re just standing there smiling dopily at each other until Rosa coughs and reminds Amy of her quickly cooling beverage and Charles offers – practically begs – Amy to help plan their date. Jake came around to her side of the bar, dropped into the stool next to hers and didn’t make direct eye contact. He smiled and it was small and shy and hesitant and _so very happy._ He didn’t look at her as he spoke. His hands tangled together, fidgeting on the counter in front of him.

“This is probably a weird question but … when you say date, I just want to clarify so, what…are we?” He rubbed the back of his head and his ears were bright red. “Are we just hanging out? Are these friend dates or… or _real dates_?”

Amy had been asking the same question for months and almost every minute of the last two weeks. She was so glad she didn’t have to be the one to ask it that she let out a huff that sounded almost like a laugh and Jake’s face turned the other way, stared down at the ground, anywhere but at her so that she couldn’t see if he had stopped smiling. “What do you think they are?”

He was laughing when he turned her way and it was with a guarded smile that he answered. “I dunno. I thought we were just, like, really good best friends.”

“Oh, my God.”

She made like she was going to stand up. He stood with her, grabbed her arm, and held her so she couldn’t walk away. He coughed, laughed. His voice had the same sincerity and wonder he had on New Year. “Wait, I’ve waited so long. Please don’t dump me this early in.”

“Dump you? Wouldn’t there have to be a relationship for that to happen? I thought we were just _really good best friends_.”

“I am already regretting this.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reading all the comments from last chapter that just said "Finally"   
I lost it  
You people read 34 chapters of this story and really thought I was just gonna let them be together from one (1) kiss. It's like you don't know me at all.


	36. Romantic Conclusions Are Dope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I’m alive! Sorry I disappeared off the planet before writing the last chapter. My computer keeps crashing every time I try to open Word, probably not related to the 164 page document I’ve had open for 7 months. Life got away from me but I’m here now! Thanks for sticking around.

Nothing changed between them.

Well, maybe not _nothing_ exactly.

Amy got a few whistles when she walked into the Starbucks and she didn’t miss the affectionate way Jake’s eyes took her in or the wide, soft smile when he caught her staring at the ground, flushed and avoiding Rosa’s or Charles’ eye.

She was less reluctant and somehow more flustered each time she felt the urge to reach out and touch Jake, caress his hand or brush the hair off his forehead. Flustered because she could _finally do this _and not worry about him taking it the wrong way or fear she’d push him away by being too forward or affectionate.

And she got to call him her boyfriend now, instead of just her best friend. He was still her best friend, of course. But it had a different ring to it. One that made both her and Jake feel warm and fuzzy.

But those were all small changes. Almost unnoticeable from how they normally interacted with each other. She still woke up to strings of unrelated messages from his midnight thoughts and she still showed up to Starbucks after work to take her usual spot, her drink already waiting for her, as it always was. And they still exchanged their silent glances and smiles and made faces at each other and then Amy either went home or back to work. Jake still showed up unannounced at her job to beg candy from her and take her out to lunch or breakfast or whatever meal, sometimes at Gina’s, sometimes elsewhere. And whenever they couldn’t sleep, they either sat up messaging or Jake would appear at her step to go out for midnight snacks.

So nothing changed.

And Amy was absolutely thrilled.

#

**Text From: Jake **

_what do you think sloths dream about_

_ CAN sloths dream ?_

_ what about turtles_

_ they probably dream about being fast _

_ or living in the sewers like ninjas _

**Text To: Jake **

_ I doubt the average turtle knows enough about the Ninja Turtles to dream about being them. That is, of course, unless they’ve seen the show._

**Text From: Jake **

_ Ah-HA! You ARE awake_

_ Were you ignoring me ???_

**Text To: Jake**

_I was not! I was trying to sleep! It’s 3 am! _

**Text From: Jake **

_ Sorry :( _

**Text To: Jake **

_Nope. It’s too late. I’m awake now, and I can’t stop thinking about turtles._

_ Just come over already_

**Text From: Jake**

_Im 10 minutes away_

**#**

Jake let himself in.

It was routine. Amy had dragged herself out of bed the moment she knew she wasn’t going to get back to sleep, unlocked the door, turned the kettle on, and climbed back into bed. She heard Jake come in. She laid in bed and listened to the lock click, the stove shut off, and she listened as he moved around the kitchen, taking things down and opening drawers. When he finally nudged open her door and let the light stream into the dark room, Amy pulled the blanket over her head and waited until he had placed the two mugs on her desk and shut off the hall light.

She was just about to pull the blanket down but Jake’s body landed with force onto the bed, jostling her and almost sending her spilling out but for half of him that had landed on top of her. The blanket was lowered from her face and she squinted up at Jake’s dumb, goofy smile an inch away from her, feigning apology. He pecked her on the nose and sat up, pulling himself off of her. She sat up with him, quickly leaning in to plant a kiss to his lips, though glaring disapprovingly at him the whole while. He kept smiling at her anyway.

He was still in the sweatpants and t-shirt that he normally slept in and his sweatshirt was tossed on the back of her chair. Amy sat up as straight as she could manage with the blankets still wrapped around her legs and watched Jake. He was kneeling on the comforter, his hands twisted into one of her blankets, and he was leaning forward, looking exhausted but still so happy to see her. She reached forward and pressed her hand against his cheek and he tilted his head to lean into it.

He looked as tired as Amy felt.

“Where’s my tea?”

Jake rolled his eyes and got out of the bed. He picked up both mugs, placed one on the bedside table. Amy made herself comfortable, refluffed the pillows, pulled the blanket up to her stomach, and leaned back into her pillow pile. Only then did she hold out her hands and accept the mug Jake was patiently waiting with. She smiled at him and he slipped under the blankets to be next to her. He sunk into the pillows but before he could get comfortable, he was up again, by her desk, rifling through a bag he’d thrown on her chair. He scrambled back in, pressed a kiss to Amy’s temple, and sunk once more into the cloud. He took the mug into his hands and sighed happily.

Amy raised a brow and waited.

Jake pulled the stuffed lion Amy had once gifted him out from under the covers and set him up between the two of them. Amy nodded, patted Leopold on the head, and pulled Sir Squigglington from under her and set him up next to the lion. Jake and Amy nodded once at each other and settled back into the bed. There was quiet, only the occasional sound of one of them sipping at their hot tea. They laid like that in the dark for a long while, comfortable.

Finally, Amy passed her mug to Jake and he set them both on the side table. She turned toward him on her side, raised one arm, and let him burrow further under the blankets to be closer to her, his nose pressed against her neck and her arms comfortably wrapped around him. His arms wound around her waist. He breathed in deep and his whole body slumped into her arms.

“Sorry I woke you up.”

“You know I don’t really mind.”

“Liar.” His words were muffled against her throat, but he wasn’t speaking loudly to begin with.

“Alright, fine. I _do _mind. But I like you being here, so it makes up for it.”

“I like me being here, too.”

She could feel him smiling against her skin. She could also feel the few kisses he had littered along her shoulder. She ran a hand through his hair and scratched at his scalp and he managed to somehow slump further into her. Amy pulled back and pressed her lips to his forehead, and then pressed her own forehead against his. They laid in silence for a long moment, just enjoying being wrapped in each other’s arms, not moving. It felt normal. It felt like Amy’s whole life just sighed and she was no longer worrying about what the next day would bring. For once, she could let the future worry about the future. Just for this moment.

“Hey, Ames?”

“Yeah?”

“How dumb are we?”

Amy blinked at him, started to pull away a bit. He held her closer. “_I’m _not dumb.”

“Wow. _Wow._” Jake let go of her, too carried away in his fake offense to maintain the comfort they were in. He held a hand to his chest and swung his face to look off into the continued darkness of the room. “We were having a _moment.” _

“Well, you called me dumb!” Despite her offense, she was trying to wriggle closer to him, pressing herself against his chest where it was warm. One of his hands instinctively pressed against her spine.

“I called _us_ dumb. You’re the smartest person I’ve ever met. But together? We’re super dumb.” Amy didn’t make a move to say anything so he pressed on. “I mean, we’ve liked each other for how long? We could’ve been doing _this_ the _whole time. _But we didn’t. And why? Cause we’re _dumb._” He ended his ramblings by tossing his arm out, but it settled around Amy again and he started curling the fabric of her shirt absently around his fingers.

Amy thought of every moment she had thought she was misreading the signs laid out in front of her. The millions of times she had insisted there was nothing out of the norm. The very long discussion with herself convincing her that Jake didn’t like her. She gave Jake her number. He had _kept _it. And used it. Frequently. And there was Sir Squig, sitting somewhere near them, proof that Jake thought about and cared for her long before she even considered any of this a possibility.

Amy dropped her head onto Jake’s chest. “Oh, we’re _so dumb._”

She felt his laughter shaking his chest before she heard it and by the time she did hear it, she was laughing along with him.

They fell asleep still wrapped around each other, a nature documentary muted on the TV, Sir Squig and Leopold tucked in between them both.

#

Their first official date had gone well. More than well. It had gone almost…normally. Amy had met Jake at a restaurant that she had spent days researching. She’d even double checked with Charles _and _Gina_. _It was a nice place but not too fancy that they would feel out of place. They even had several pasta options that were just fancy mac and cheese, which she had pointed out to Jake almost immediately and he’d refused to look at the rest of the menu after.

She was afraid it might be weird. They’d been out together plenty of times that could have been considered dates, but they weren’t at the time, which somehow made it different.

But then she saw Jake standing out front waiting for her, for once even earlier than her, and he’d just looked so nervous and excited and jumpy and hopeful. He kept pulling out his phone to stare at the clock and pace back and forth around the parking lot, but he had this smile on his face and a light in his eyes that looked so full of hope as he stared at the sky and tried to breathe. When she had stood in front of him and held his hand, he had dropped his eyes from the night sky and all the anxiety seemed to evaporate in an instant. He’d smiled widely at her and squeezed her hand and asked how she was doing. And when after they’d finished eating and were standing outside again, Amy had leaned in and kissed him so lightly on the mouth, Jake seemed to relax every wandering thought that had entered his mind all day and could only focus on her.

Then Amy had grabbed his hand and pulled him a couple blocks over and into an arcade and the excitement in his eyes was new and different and he kept hold of her hand as he pulled her toward the different games. He won a few and she won a few others and they both swore they were keeping track but neither of them could quite remember who won the most by the time they were having dessert in the park under the stars. Jake got the ice cream she had promised him, but Amy couldn’t bring herself to eat cold snacks in the cold weather, no matter how good it probably tasted. It wasn’t seasonally appropriate, _Jake._ Her hot chocolate was just as good and the whipped cream kiss it left on Jake’s cheek felt worth it.

Amy had absently talked about how much time she’d spent trying to decipher when his feelings for her had changed, all the energy that had gone into marking the difference in his actions towards her, how it all felt so ridiculous now. Jake had laughed and said of course she couldn’t note a difference because he had always liked her so there wouldn’t have been one. And when Amy dropped her head into her hands and groaned because she hadn’t even thought of that, he had simply patted her on the head but left his hand there on the back of her neck, played his fingers through her hair, and the awe in his voice at saying “I can’t believe I can do this now” had her melting into his side.

And had he mentioned yet, he’d said, “Have I mentioned that I like you? Cause I _really _like you.”

Amy had laughed and smiled and only said “I can’t believe I’m dating such a giant dork.”

And they enjoyed themselves because they could, reveling in the fact that they were finally together and things were pretty okay. It was freezing and while Jake had offered his jacket or to go inside somewhere, Amy had seen the reluctance on his face at giving up his jacket and she’d figured it wasn’t really that bad, since she had him there. So they sat on a bench under the stars, Amy tucked warmly into Jake’s side, and were just happy to be together.

#

Amy recognized the woman sitting at the bar when she walked into Starbucks and nearly walked right back out. Her heart jumped into her throat and she felt her hands begin to shake. Jake was nowhere to be seen but he had to be around somewhere because why else would his mother just be sitting casually at the bar in his place of work if he wasn’t there?

She considered leaving, not knowing what else to do. She couldn’t exactly walk up and introduce herself. And why wasn’t Jake around? She knew he was working. She had his schedule memorized. And there was her drink, waiting for her at the usual seat, right next to his mom. She already knew it was her drink without the weird faces and swirls doodled all over the cup where her name was supposed to be. But if her drink was there, and so was his mom, then likely he was there too, and running away wasn’t an option.

Amy sat in her usual seat and smiled politely at Jake’s mom, tried her best not to be weird. But Karen was already introducing herself and she didn’t have a choice. She had wanted this, she kept reminding herself. She had wanted to meet Jake’s mother. She just didn’t think it would be as Jake’s girlfriend or without him around or without her finalized research present and memorized. Besides, it was too early. They’d barely been together a few weeks. She had a million things to say and no idea how to say them. She needed her binder. She needed Jake to appear. She needed to excuse herself.

“I’m Amy,” she said instead. “It’s so nice to meet you.”

Karen smiled at her and Amy could see the resemblance. “Oh you’re the girl who sent my Jake such a sweet message.”

Amy had nearly forgotten Jake had told his mother about that. She had almost hoped it would go unmentioned for the rest of their lives.

“I’m so glad you two are together. It is _about time_. He talked about you nonstop for months. Had no idea what to do. Every time he saw you, I’d get a call asking what he should do. It was the sweetest thing.” She looked off into the distance over Amy’s head. She couldn’t be sure if there was a target. She was smiling and she sighed happily the way Amy had seen Jake do. “You make sure he treats you right! I’m sure he will, though, he cares so much about you.”

Amy felt her face grow warm and wanted nothing more than to hug this woman and maybe to find Jake and hug him as well.

“Thank you so much.” Amy didn’t have a plan for what she was saying but the words started spilling out and she couldn’t stop them. “I care about your son a great deal. You’ve done a wonderful job raising him.”

Karen smiled the smile of every teacher Amy had always tried so hard to impress and elicit praise from throughout her childhood and it was exactly the validation she had longed for from every one of them. She smiled as though she were genuinely proud and thankful, and Amy, for once, could tell she really meant it.

“Thank you for saying that, Amy.”

“I mean it. Jake is my best friend. He means a lot to me. I’m lucky to have him around.” She really meant it. She's never been able to say it aloud before, but she really did mean it. She kept her head down and her hands on her drink, tapping nervously at the rim of the cup to avoid looking at Karen. But then one of Karen’s hands was on her arm and she was giving Amy the most sincere look.

“You two already make each other very happy. That’s good to see.”

Amy didn’t notice the back room door swing open or hear Jake approach them until he was standing between the two of them, watching warily. “My mom and my girlfriend having a serious conversation at my work. This can’t be good.”

Amy rolled her eyes but she was smiling at him. “I was just telling your mother that she did a wonderful job raising her son.”

Karen waved her off and turned to Jake, who was looking back and forth between them, seemingly expecting something to happen. His mother spoke with the calm patience of a kindergarten teacher who’s praising her kids on their squiggly art and genuinely means it. “You picked a good one, Jakey.”

His face flushed and he turned away but then he was suddenly looking at Amy’s face as though he’d just remembered he could. There were so many emotions there in the slightest curve to his lips and the crinkles at the edges of his eyes. “Yeah,” he said, not taking his eyes off Amy. “I really did.”

#

Amy stood at the register long after Karen left and waited. Jake was the first person to return to the counter, nearly knocking Charles over to get there first. He made no move to touch the computer or start a new drink, only shook his head playfully disapprovingly. Which, she knew, was all he could do since he was supposed to be clocking out.

“We were just over this.”

“I believe in allowing the girlfriend to pay because relationships now are equal and each party is equal so they should both be allowed to pay for things.”

“One. I do love hearing you call yourself my girlfriend. Two. Did you only kiss me to see if our dynamic would change? Are you only dating me to see if I’ll let you pay?”

Amy couldn’t answer right away. Jake’s look of offense and jaw hanging wide open only stalled her response even longer. “…It was a hope, okay?”

He folded his arms over his chest. “I’m not letting you pay for your drinks. And hey,” he raised a hand as though he had a real point that he’d always had and not just an idea he’d thought up right then as an excuse. “That way you’ll have more money to take me on dates.”

Amy walked past the counter without another word and leaned over the bar. Charles looked startled and kept tossing his gaze to Jake.

“Charles, I would like to order a drink for another person in this establishment and seeing as it isn’t for me, you have to let me pay for it.”

He nodded, smiling knowingly at Amy, and began making a drink. He rang it up on the computer Jake wasn’t standing in front of acting deeply betrayed, and waved him away when he tried to interfere. “Sorry, Jakey, but you’re off the clock.” He pulled up the full amount of the drink and let Amy pay for it, something she hadn’t done in so long on their system that she had to relearn the pin-pad as she ran her card. He let her drop several dollars into the tip jar, nodding in acknowledgement. Charles finished making the drink and placed it in front of Jake, who had seated himself begrudgingly at the bar next to Amy. “Drink for you, from a friend.”

Jake reluctantly picked up the cup and sipped from it. He feigned irritation but it didn’t hold for long. Even dropping the act annoyed him. “Damn it, Charles, why do you have to know my drink order so well?” He grumbled some more and turned away from Amy and Charles, but he kept sipping from his drink. “My two best friends ganging up on me. It’s not fair.”

“I’m sorry, Jake,” Charles said, already apologizing while Amy tried to stop him. “You know it hurts me to betray you. But I just want you two to be happy.”

“Don’t apologize to him, Charles. You did the right thing.”

Amy leaned against Jake’s back and he had a hard time pretending to ignore her. He broke almost immediately, turning around to let her wrap her arm around his shoulder. He dropped his head onto her shoulder and nudged her chin with the top of his head. “This doesn’t count as a date.”

“I know it doesn’t.”

Rosa had walked out of the kitchen to take Jake’s place at the register but stopped to shake her head at Amy and Jake hanging off each other. “God, you two are so happy. It’s gross.” There was silence all around, Amy and Jake waiting for the continuation they knew was coming. She pretended not to notice how predictable she was becoming to them both and instead didn’t finish her thought. “Go be happy somewhere else, like not at work.”

Amy nodded, collected her things, and waited for Jake to grab his apron and take her hand before walking out. Rosa stopped her, let Jake wait by the door a few feet away. “Your relationship is gross… but I guess pretty dope. I’m happy for you.”

Amy was beaming. That was more approval than she could ever have expected from Rosa. Amy hugged her and, despite Rosa’s insistence that she didn’t do touching, she hugged Amy back. They agreed on brunch the next day and Amy waved as she and Jake walked out, hand in hand. He squeezed her hand. His smile was as bright as the sun glaring in their eyes. Amy pulled him to her as they neared his car and pressed a long kiss to his lips, eyes closed against the sun, a hand pressed against his cheek and his on her neck and in her hair. When they pulled apart they were still smiling.

Yeah, Rosa was right. It was pretty dope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for sticking around. Not that you really had a choice, 35 chapters in. It's been a journey, and I'm glad I finally got this fic out of my system. We left behind my transcript of True Events back on ch 19. None of you have any idea how close I was to writing the actual ending to my "Based on Real Events" (Barista quit dramatically (left a note and disappeared) while I was away at school, never saw him again. We message briefly once a year to catch up. I continued getting free drinks for 3 years after, tho none of the baristas know why. One still doesn't charge, tho she's never even heard of the Original Guy). It would've been so mean, but SO tempting.  
Thank you all for reading. It's been fun and I'll miss this. 
> 
> ((if interested, you can find me on tumblr as capnvonv666))

**Author's Note:**

> Based on True Events


End file.
